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My Update


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Hi guys,

I know I havent been around for awhile due to my classes and the fact that I think I have a sleeping issue and I sleep ALL the time.

For those of you that know something about college credit it hours, I am taking 18 and for those of you that dont know, 18 is the full load that most are allowed to do with approval from the Dean. That and all courses are recommended 3 hours of studying and holy crap these courses need it!

Anyway, heres my update! Im feeling okay, I still think of my dad of course. Some days I feel empty and miss him. Still feels like I am missing a limb but its not a crippling feeling anymore. I do feel like I have my brain back though so I am able to concentrate. I did grief therapy, it was a condensed form that takes 8 wks but I did it in 4. I did all the exercises and am meeting with my counselor over spring break just to check in. That definitely made me feel better as it felt like I purged some of the deep pain.

Ive been rather busy so I havent had time to actively grieve. I cry at night sometimes but always when I need to be asleep or studying so they are short. I did send him a balloon though so I think that helped.

March will be 6 months and Im not sure how I feel about that so we will see. We will be losing his house soon so that hurt a little but I think its better that it goes anyway, its not the same and its not home. Very lonely place. Just will all of this time and getting rid of all of the old stuff just kind of makes me feel like he is getting farther and farther away and I dont know how to deal with that.

Anyways, thank you to those who have messaged me, you are all so sweet, even if you didnt send me a message, I still appreciate all the kind words on my posts.

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Hi Shari,

It is good to hear that you are "feeling okay" these days. Your college schedule is heavy. I remember all the sleepless nights. I hope that you are able to return to grief support if you want to. Remember, we are here to listen and I for one will be looking to see how you are doing.

Anne

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It's been six months this week since I lost my mom so I can relate with the time frame. I'm not sure I'm entirely used to it, her birthday was this week and it hit me hard that I didn't have her to celebrate with for the first time. I'm glad you released some balloons, and are better able to concentrate on your studies. Before my son met his wife he was doing 18-19 credits in school, and I can't tell you how many hours studying and projects, suffice it to say, he was getting 2-3 hours sleep per night, this continued for the 5 1/2 years he was in college as he was graduating with two degrees (one of which had been combined from two degrees). As he was doing this debt free, it meant also applying for grants and scholarships, which is also time consuming...add to that caring for a crippled ailing dog and taking care of his home and "renters" (roommates)...a story in itself. So I know you are inundated right now and I applaud you for sticking to it! When you graduate, you can relish in the fact that your dad is watching and extremely proud of you.

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