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[Momgoddess2002]

Both my parents died April 2014. They lived with my husband, kids and me for 14 years. The last few years I had become more of a full time caregiver as they both got sicker. Dad was in poor health for years, but the last year he was in and out of the hospital. Mom ended up with Alzheimer's, but it took a while to realise what was wrong. She went into the hospital with a uti and I really thought after a few days she'd be home. We got a call in the middle of the night that she had passed. I probably shouldn't have been, but I was blown away. She had been so healthy physically. My sisters and I never thought mom would go first. Three weeks later dad died. I had just gotten him placed in a nursing home. Sadly the space became available two days after mom passed, but I knew we had to take it. He was in and out of the hospital and I no longer felt qualified to look after him. He was there for about two weeks and so unhappy I decided I had to bring him home. I was trying to arrange for nursing care to help out so I told him on the Friday that we were bringing him home. None of us wanted to see him so unhappy. With mom gone it was too sad for him. So Monday morning as we're on our way to get him my daughter calls and says the nursing home just called an ambulance. We were literally pulling into the parking lot and I could hear the siren. He passed away just before we got there. It was the worst built I've ever felt. I didn't get to say goodbye because we were running about 20 minutes late. Shortly after all this, we decided to move which meant a lot of renovations. I threw myself into it. We moved in Oct. Two weeks later I got a job through an agency. I never dreamt of get anything that fast. I hadn't worked for years. Shortly after that my daughter ended up in a major depression. It's been a non stop roller coaster ride for over a year now. Things finally seem to be calming down. Thank God, my daughter is getting better. I almost feel like with all the upheaval I put off really grieving. I feel like someone pulled the rug out from under me when my parents died and its still like that. I keep thinking I should be OK by now, but some days I just feel lost. Sorry this was so long winded. I guess I needed to vent.

[kayc]

I'm sorry for your losses. It sounds like it was kind of a whirlwind time, so many adjustments. I'm glad your daughter is doing better and hopefully the job is going well.

I wouldn't worry about how long it takes, it takes as long as it takes, it's an ongoing journey. We never stop missing them.

[Momgoddess2002]

Thanks kayc.

[cujosgirl15]

I am so sorry for your losses….my grandma passed from Alzheimer's in April this year and it was heart wrenching. It was about a 6 year roller coaster of heath problems ending in a 2 year battles with dementia that progressed to Alzheimer's. The Alzheimer's progressed very quickly…less than a year and she was gone…You've been through a lot…losing both your parents. There is no time limit on grieving. Don't rush it, don't push it down. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty or stupid for grieving as long as you feel you need to. There is no right or wrong.

[Julia_Stolberg0319]

One loss is difficult to go through, let alone two. My grandparents passed away a year apart from each other, and then my aunt the following year. I lost my dad in 2013 suddenly, no warning from a brain aneurysm, he was only 56 years old. It has been a little over 2 years and I was going through depression at the same time, alone with a majorly painful divorce, I understand delayed grieving, no one should tell anyone what is the appropriate time to grieve, I still have a hard time with his loss. I have to take one day at a time because today might be a good day, tomorrow it might hit me harder. I hope that by reading others posts you will know you are not alone.

[Alex565]

So sorry for your loss,   I agree its a roller coaster ride.

its been 11 months since I lost dad too cancer,  and I lost mom 40 days later too cancer.

Both had metastasized lung cancer, it was really a short battle for both the parents,  dad lived about 16 months after being diagnosed,   And mom about 10 months.

The grief has been almost overwhelming now almost a year later,  I have gone through grief counseling online,  and that did help for almost a week I started feeling almost normal again lol.

Mom was the support system for the family,  i feel alone most of the time,  Can anyone offer any advice on a new support system.

thanks and bless all of y'all 

Alex

[kayc]

Alex,

I'm sorry for both of your losses.  I would get grief counseling (in person)  You also might try group support, although that's being with others going through the same thing rather than actual therapy, it can still help.  You might want to talk to hospice for referrals.

I lost my parents years apart from each other, I can't imagine how hard it'd be to go through this with both of them at once, but I imagine it'd be way worse.  It does help to come here too.

[Alex565]

Thank you Kayc,

 

Thank you for your advice,   I'm gonna keep coming here for right now,    And if it doesn't get better I will find a counselor.

Yes It was pretty tough Kayc  Dad was told that he had 30 days at the very best with medical help to live, so he chose too come home and die without outside help.

Mom was a little different she suffered a stroke about two weeks before she died,   Of course that took away her communication skills.

so yeah two funerals in 45 days was a little much.

I don't normally suffer from depression, so I'm guessing that it's from grief,   I just feel lost or empty.

the counselor did like said help the first week and after that was almost not human anymore, no emotions, no life.   So I was like no I can't do this crap lol.