Burying My Dad

[sharirouse]

So I recently bought a plot in a beautiful green cemetery for my dad and eventually we will bury him and get him a headstone when we get the funds. Honestly Im okay with waiting awhile because Im having issues with the idea of putting him in the ground. Hes cremated so we don't even have to bury him but its what he wanted. I just keep thinking about how he's going to be in the cold, hard dirt and its going to be wet and soggy when it rains and currently, he's in my bedroom in my hometown and I know he's safe and "comfortable."

How the heck do I accept this fact?

[kayc]

There's no hurry or time frame.  I didn't scatter George's ashes for a couple of years.  You can keep them with you as long as you like and you will know when it is time to bury them.

[sharirouse]

Oh good! I felt guilty. Is it almost like when you know you are ready to give them permission to die?

[kayc]

These are what's left of the body they no longer have need of, but it's not them...they exist, but in different form.  Still, it's comforting to have their ashes with us, the same way it is to hang on to some of their possessions or hug their sweater.

[sharirouse]

Thanks Kay! That makes sense. I'm feeling better about it. I asked him about it and now Im asking him to help me choose a headstone and sturdier urn. 

[kayc]

I think they give us the answers, somehow.  At least for me it's been that way, although I can't explain how it is they do it.