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My Dad


MSL

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I'm 46 and my Dad died four weeks ago.  Both my sisters and my mum have talked of a heavy feeling in their chests, I feel very guilty because I don't have that feeling.  I miss my Dad so so much and not a minute goes by when he's not in my thoughts.  I think, in fact I know, my grief is compounded with the fact that my partner and I broke up three weeks before my Dad died so I'm probably mourning that as well.  I live with my 16 year old daughter but she spends 4 out 7 nights at her dads, she has been great, letting me cry when I need to and listening when I need someone but at the end of the day, she's missing her Papa terribly.  People say that it will get better but I just can't see that day coming at all.  I try to be strong for my Mum, go in to see how she's doing (she's 70) but it's when I go home, that's when I feel it bad - most nights, I go home and go to bed but don't sleep........I've lost Grannies and Papas and a young cousin to suicide so I have mourned before but have never felt like this ever.  Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I'm just typing as I think.

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I am sorry for the loss of your dad, as well as losing your partner.  That's a lot to deal with at once!  I hope you'll see a grief counselor as it's likely beyond your daughter to know what to say/do to help you.  

Everyone grieves differently, and not all will feel a heaviness in their chest.  That's not a barometer of how much you miss your dad, so I hope you pay no mind to that.  Just know that however YOU experience your grief is normal and YOUR experience, there's no set timetable or stages.

We grieve continually with such loss but as our grief journey progresses, our grief changes form as we process it and learn to incorporate it into our new lives.

It makes perfect sense, and I'm just so sorry you're going through this.

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