Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Recommended Posts

Every night I do pretty much the same thing. I look at Michael's picture, I tell him how much I love and miss him, I ask him to be with me throughout the night and I ask him to visit me in a dream if he can. 

I haven't really had ANY dreams about him since he passed- which was strange because I dreamed of him often before he passed.

Anyways- last night I had a dream where I was talking to him on the phone a few times. After talking to him like, maybe 3 times........... somebody told me he passed away weeks prior. I told them that was impossible I just spoke with him. Then I started searching for his phone number again to call him and I couldn't find any trace of a phone number for him

I woke up right after that feeling very unsettled 

Edited by Harleyquinn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm the same but I have read that you can miss out on crucial information by not remembering. My son had read about keeping a notepad and pen by your bed and also before you sleep ask to remember the dream. Apparently it takes time but it may be worth it. I know Kevin on this forum does that with great success.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a dream about wanting to call my boyfriend and not remembering his number. My SIL had a similar dream too. In my dreams he is usually silent and I'm very talkative. Quite the opposite as I used to be the "listener" in the couple.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't dream about George for a long long time and when I finally did, (in my dream) I was wanting to know where he'd been all this time!  I wish I could dream about him more often so I could be with him at least part of the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday and today were difficult 

That dream made it hard. I wanted so badly to hear Michael speak to me....but I don't remember any of our conversations which makes me believe it was more my mind working than an actual visitation dream

I was a complete wreck yesterday. Went to the gym twice (morning and evening) to try to work through the emotions

Today I didn't get out of bed until 1:30pm but made myself go back to the gym again this evening  and I'm finally starting to feel a bit better

Edited by Harleyquinn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harleyquinn I don't necessarily think you DIDN'T have a visitation dream just because you can't remember it. The problem is that we are not expecting the dreams and therefore are not really tuning our brains in to remember them. I have read that if you ask for a dream before you sleep then ask also to be able to remember it and wake up after it, you have a good chance of recalling the details. Also, maybe Michael didn't say anything crucial but just appeared to comfort you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Debi

although i ask for him to visit me in a dream, i've never thought to also ask to wake up right a way and remember the dream. I am going to start including that! 

I also didn't consider that perhaps he didn't really say anything but was showing his presence as comfort. I was trying to figure out why the dream showed us talking on the phone~ the only thing I could think of was perhaps he was telling me he hears me, since I talk to him often. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One book that I've read and would recommend is described in this excerpt from one of my blog posts:

If you want to explore ways you actually can work with your dreams, you may wish to read the book, Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us after the Death of a Loved One, by T.J. Wray and Ann Back Price. (T.J. Wray is an assistant professor at Salve Regina University, a bereaved sibling and author of the book Surviving The Death of a Sibling: Living through Grief When An Adult Brother or Sister Dies; her colleague is a Jungian psychoanalyst on the faculty at Brown Medical School in Providence, Rhode Island.)  The authors assert that, “Because grief dreams are a fairly universal phenomenon among the bereaved, they offer the opportunity, when affirmed as important and properly understood, for healing.” They guide readers in ways to understand and value their dreams, how to keep a grief dream journal, and how to use dreams as tools for healing. They explain that most grief dreams fall into four rather broad categories (visitation dreams, message dreams, reassurance dreams and trauma dreams), although there are other grief dream types such as prophetic dreams and dream series. The book offers real-life examples of each type, including their symbols and other important features. Wray and Price show how dreams can be affirming, consoling, enlightening, and inspiring. Grief dreams, they say on page 37, “offer a way through pain to memory and meaning.” Grief dreams act as shock-absorbers, help us sort out our emotions, enable us to continue our inner relationship with the deceased, and make a creative bridge to our future: “Grief dreams often bear meaningful images of a hopeful new life for the mourner (p. 181).”

The authors offer step-by-step guidance for understanding and valuing the various messages from grief dreams – even the nightmarish and shock-absorbing ones. They even give examples of how we can ask for a dream to help us, and suggest a method to use as a possible technique for inducing a reassurance dream. Following each dream story is a “Toolbox” designed to assist the reader to gain the confidence necessary to interpret his or her own dreams. “This confidence is enhanced by the easy-to-learn methods of interpretation that center on the concept that you, the dreamer, are in the best position to accurately interpret your own dreams. After all, your dreams are as unique as you are (p. 6).”

While her work is aimed primarily at reconciling the conflicts and challenges arising from the profound loss of the death of a child, certified dream work facilitator Carla Blowey uses dreams as a tool for healing through loss and transition. Author of the book Dreaming Kevin: The Path to Healing, 2014 Expanded Edition, Carla offers experiential workshops and conferences to help bereaved parents move toward the same forgiveness, healing, spiritual growth and new life she found following the death of her five-year-old son Kevin. Visit her website here: http://www.dreamingkevin.com.

Yet another way to learn more about recalling, interpreting, and working with your dreams is totake an online e-mail course, such as the one offered by Self-Healing Expressions, entitled Dreams for Healing: Using Dreams as a Pathway to the Soul.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's brilliant Marty. All of us with broken hearts pray for dream visits, just to see our loved ones whole again, but when on the rare occasion we do get them, we are then in a panic to either remember the detail or to try and decipher the dream and look for the message. That thought and work has gone into precisely this is wonderful and I am going to look at these links and choose one of the books. Thanks so much as always.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...