Moving After Mom's Death

[Mdc0128]

My mom died November 24th, 2015. She died of cancer after being in the hospital for 6 weeks. She was only 45. She had a stroke prior to the cancer diagnosis and wasn't able to communicate at the time of her death. I was her power of attorney. 

Right after my mom died, I moved to another state. I moved back to my hometown. I quit my job and moved in with family friends and totally started over. The hardest part of all of this was packing up my moms stuff and placing it in storage. I haven't been quite ready to go through it so this was the easiest solution. 

In a couple of weeks, I have to go back and get everything from the storage unit. In addition, I'm picking up my moms ashes. She was cremated by the state due to lack of funds. Im not going alone however, I'm dreading everything. I haven't spoken much about her death because I'm just trying to cope with life without her. 

Those around me are open to "talking about it", but Im just not quite ready to talk about how I feel beyond my fear that I too will get cancer. I try to ignore my feelings but often find myself crying myself to sleep and not wanting to talk to anyone about it. 

My closest friend knows better and tells me not to shut everyone out. I have a tendency to throw myself into work and shut everyone out and use the excuse of "Im just working a lot" when in reality I'm working a lot to forget. 

Has anyone else struggled with talking about a parents death? 

[deb1]

I'm really sorry about your mom.

After my mom passed away I also started being afraid to have heart problems, started reading everything on internet until I realised that it was not good for me to do that. So when I start to fell comfortable to do so, I'll go to a doctor and speak about it. Don't know when this will be, but I'll do it to not have this in my mind all the time.

I think it's good that you're not going alone to pick up her ashes. My mom too was cremated, it was something she wanted, but I found hard to go pick it up... We got one of those urns that comes with a seed and we plan to plant it one day. It grows to a beautiful tree 10m high. 

I also don't feel ready yet to go through my mom's things, so we are just leaving where it is, so I can't imagine how emotional it must be for you to have had to that and have to do it again now. Do you have anyone you trust to go with you?

And if you don't feel ready to speak about it with others, maybe talk to her. I keep doing that...

Anyway, have also written to you in private.

 

[kayc]

MDC0128,

I am sorry about the loss of your mom, it seems a lot of us have lost our moms this year.

I don't think I struggled talking about my mom's death but there was no one to talk to about her.  Because of complications, it made it hard for me to even talk about with my siblings.

[Mom's angel]

Mdc0128,

Not much difference between us as my mom died on Nov20 and she was only 42.

I couldn't bear seeing things or places that made it obvious that she is dead but on the other side I love to see her in videos, pictures and hear her voice. 

I don't cry and open up in front of those who don't know very much about me, to the close ones I feel no difficulty to open up.. But yes I don't bring out all my feelings because I think that might depress them too.

I find it very difficult to talk about or even remember about the time she was in hospital, about what she went through.. It breaks me down.. I just cannot talk about how she died.

[Thwrangler]

I know how your are feeling too. 

my mom died on Nov. 3rd she was 66. 

Its been hard for me too. Her birthday was 9 days ago and it was extremely hard. 

She was cremated also. My dads got her ashes but my brother and I also have some of her ashes in matching urns.  I stare at her everyday and miss her so much. 

Trust me you're not alone. I feel you're pain. PM me if you want to talk. It could help both of us!

hope u feel better.