Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Hi My 15 year old Furbaby (cat) Suzie hadnt been well for months lost lots of weight and really hasn't seemed happy or being herself hiding and not enjoying life or cuddles like she use to. The vet came and put her to sleep last Wednesday she had pale gums which meant she either had failing organs and had a lot of pressure on her heart due to this but I'm ridden with guilt as I should of asked for other options she seemed herself just half an hour before the vet came I'm devastated and feel I've done the wrong thing. I did ask the vet if she felt that was the right thing and she said yes if she hasn't been herself how can I stop feeling this way. I'm devastated I miss her so much I miss her company and the way she always loved me and I loved her with all my heart. She was with me when my parents died 4 years ago and was my rock and my world I couldn't have gotten through it without her. My heart is breaking I won't see her again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Hi, I'm glad you found this site but I'm sorry for the reason. Losing someone you love is so very hard. It's common to second guess yourself afterwards or feel guilt about all the what ifs. The truth is, we make the best decision with the information we have at the time, and you did what you felt was best for your cat, not wanting her to suffer. It's my belief we will be together again when our time is come, and that their spirits continue even when their bodies do not. What other possible options could there have been if her organs were failing? It was just a matter of time. I watched my mother-in-law suffer with cancer the last three years of her life until at last her organs began shutting down, one at a time, and it was awful, because even the morphine didn't help because her blood literally was not circulating through her body. You would not have wanted your cat to reach that point. My cat, King George, lived to be 19 and was greatly suffering at the end of his life, but I'd been told erroneously by a vet that he had a bad cold and they gave him antibiotics, which did no good. When I took him to another vet, I found out he had cancer and it was 1,000 times worse than any head cold I've ever had. I had him put to sleep right then and there. I miss him greatly and my greatest regret is that I wish I'd had him put to sleep a month sooner, I never would have let him suffer like he did had I known he wouldn't get better. Sometimes being a responsible pet owner is doing what is kindest for them, not what we want...if it was up to us we would love to hold onto them forever. I know that probably won't make you feel any different, but I hope it helps to know you are not alone in how you're feeling, there's plenty of us here who have been there. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thank you for your kind words I know it will take time as I miss my baby and heartbroken and stop being guilty. Thanks again x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Wise words from Kay, Meme, and I hope you will take them to heart. You may find this article helpful: Pet Loss: Guilt in The Wake of The Euthanasia Decision ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Just hugs, Meme. I am so sorry. I agree with Kay and Marty has some excellent articles about pet loss on her griefhealingblog when and if you want to read. It is so very hard to lose our furbabies. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thank you I am so overwhelmed by all your kind words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollowheart Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Meme, I'm so, so very sorry for your loss. I loved what Kay said and second it. Like she mentioned, it is easy to go through the "what ifs" I realize now how easy it is to blame yourself and delve into that cloud of guilt. I'm still swirling around it myself. I don't believe you did anything wrong. I know we want to take our loved ones to 100 different doctors or vets until we get someone who will say what we want to hear "it's not that serious, I can save them" that's what we really want. It sounds like things had gone downhill and it was just a matter of time. Even her acting herself a half hour before probably was not an indicator that she was going to survive her illness. If they are in pain and suffering putting them down is the best and hardest decision we need to make. Your sweety was loved and well taken care off. She was a lucky one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Thank you so much for your kind words means so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 3, 2016 Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 Yes, and it's not uncommon for them to rally at the end, it doesn't mean it would have sustained for any amount of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2016 I know you are right just very hard at the moment. Thanks again for your kind words 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Is it normal to not sleep or eat and constantly cry? It's been a week now it seems to be getting harder when I come home and she's not here. Any advice would be appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Yes it's very normal, you're grieving. It will someday not feel as intense as it does now as your body adjusts and absorbs the shock of it all, but there's no way to avoid the grieving process but to go straight through it and experience it. Just know it won't be like this forever. Take as good care of yourself as you can, eat healthy, go for walks, drink water, it will give your brain it's best possible chance for processing, which it needs. Avoid alcohol, which is a depressant. It starts getting harder when the shock begins to wear off, but it won't stay in this intensity. If you have trouble sleeping for over a week you might want to see your doctor for a temporary sleep aid, but other than that, try staying to a routine and winding down, listen to soothing music, anything that calms you. Do you do meditation? It is a big help too when you're upset, it helps me to breathe and put things back in perspective, walking does that for me too, but then I live near USFS trails so a lot of it is being in nature. I'm so sorry! I know how painful this is. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Thank you you have been very kind your words have kept me going knowing there is hope. I will try the meditation and see if that helps my world revolved around Suzie especially the last few years when she got older she was my first priority before anyone else and myself. Thanks again for all your help it is very much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollowheart Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Yes, of course it's normal! I lost my beloved Tracy, she was with us 21 years. She just laid on the living room floor and died there. I cried for the next few days. I remember crying all day at work the next day. You had something precious in your life and now it is gone, that absence is hard to accept and it will hurt for a while. Don't deny your pain, just know it's ok to be sad and heartbroken. If family and friends can't understand and make you feel like you are over reacting seek comfort elsewhere, like here and also pet loss forums. I belonged to several years ago when I lost Tracy. They were very helpful. You may or may not need to look for professional help, depending on how hard it is to deal with this. If it gets to overwhelming you can look into that. I held a funeral for my pets, all of them, hamster and guinea pig included. But we buried them all in the backyard (even though we probably weren't supposed to do that) It might help with closure. You can also have a memorial and do something like plant some flowers in a specific area in your yard, if that's possible. Maybe get a plant in her honor, something to care and tend for like you did her, and it will be her own plant. You can also get a headstone made and set it among the flowers. There are places online that can do it and not all are expensive. You can even get a stone engraving with just her name and saying or the dates on it. Do you have any other pets? Just get plenty of rest and talk, talk, talk about it if you need to. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Thank you for your kind words she was my last pet the other one I also had to put down due to Cancer 5 years ago but had her to comfort me during that sad time. Unfortunately I lost both my parents 5 years ago this June and December and friends don't really understand as they have never had pets. I am picking up her ashes next week and will definitely hold a memorial for her I didn't even think of that or buying a plant. All of you are so kind and I am so happy I found this forum to talk about her as I'm so lost without her. Thank you so so much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 There are so many ways to memorialize your precious furbaby, Meme ~ you are limited only by your imagination. See, for example, Memorializing A Cherished Pet and Memorializing Pets We Have Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 Thank you Marty you are all so kind I will definitely have a look im finding it very hard to concentrate and stop the tears from falling just hope my baby knew I had to let her go because I loved her and didn't want her suffering no other reason. I keep hoping I will feel her presence around the house but nothing. Thanks again to everyone don't think I could have coped without this forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 4, 2016 Report Share Posted February 4, 2016 I got headstones at personalcreations.com and they were very inexpensive, they did a great job. It helps to have them in the shade for lasting durability. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Thank you I will have a look Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hi guys hope you all have a lovely weekend. This is the first weekend on my own in the house I'm going to try the meditation really hope it helps I feel exhausted at the moment really hope time does heal the heartbreak of her not being with me take care all x 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollowheart Posted February 5, 2016 Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hi Meme, you take care too. If it's not to sad, I hope you can keep something like her favorite toy, blanket, dish or something like that close by. I had a basket that was just for my Tracy to sleep in and I had 2 other cats, I got a little crazy and took up her basket and blanket, I didn't want the other cats to use it. I wanted her stuff to remain sacred. I hope some of the things we mentioned were helpful. Have a nice weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm wrapped in her blanket ( can still smell her) and have one of her toys next to me. When I got in I shouted her and the realization hit she's gone forever. My heart is breaking but with the help of all you wonderful people and kind words I will keep re-reading all your comments in the hope one day I can wake without tears in my eyes and remember just the good times and feel no guilt. Thank you once again everything is helpful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 5, 2016 Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Meme, my dear, this brought me comfort when my beloved Beringer died. I hope it does the same for you: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meme Posted February 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 5, 2016 Thank you so much Marty that is beautiful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now