My Guilt is Far Greater than my Sadness. I feel that I failed my dog.

[Noon]

*This is a really long post but I just recently lost my dog after 12 years together, so please bear with me as I express my grief. I really need this outlet right now. Thank you for your understanding.*

Hello, I lost my beautiful, sweet dog ChynaKat on March 24, 2016 and of course, my heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest. I had her for almost 12 years and she was 14 when she died. I am a single woman and live alone so she and I were our own little family. She was a chihuahua, but wasn’t aggressive and rarely barked, unlike many dogs of this breed. She absolutely loved humans, but didn't care for other dogs. Lol! She was a princess indeed. Her clothing wardrobe was almost as big as mine and she was spoiled to no end! There was absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for her! I adopted her on Petfinder.com as soon as I saw her little ad online and when I met her, I instantly knew it was a match made in Heaven.

Several months ago, I noticed that she was starting to have accidents in the house way more than normal and I also noticed the urine had a strong foul odor. She didn’t have any blood in her urine (which was typical when she had a urinary tract infection), so I figured that because she was senior age now, she simply couldn’t hold her bladder as long as she used to. I just made sure to buy doggie diapers for her which helped when I couldn’t get to her in time. Other than that, she was her perfect, energetic, greedy little self! Not one pep was ever lost in her step during this time! Even when she had her regular vet check-ups, no bacteria was ever reported from her urine testing so I didn’t even think there was anything wrong.

Well, several long months later after those accidents, she stopped eating her dog food for about 2 days though she drank her water and still gobbled down human food scraps when I offered them to her. I thought she was just being picky but when I noticed she was being  lethargic, I brought her to the vet right away. Her blood was tested and it was discovered that she had a really bad kidney infection! I think that all those months prior of accidents was in fact a UTI but since it was untreated for so long, the infection spread to her kidneys!! I was so riddled with GUILT because how could I not have realized she had an infection all those months??!!! If I would have gotten her to the vet at the sight and smell of the first accident, she would have been quickly cured and back on her way!

Anyway, her kidneys were badly infected so she had to go the emergency vet. She was in and out the hospital and on IV fluids for a few days and finally had a feeding tube inserted in because she wasn’t eating her new kidney based dog food diet and not drinking enough water. (She still wanted human food though, go figure.) About two weeks with the feeding tube, she made a dramatic improvement, almost at 95%!!! She was even eating her dog food on her own and loved it! (The animals are still able to eat and drink on their own with the tube in). Her blood was tested several times and each time the results were near perfect! Since she was doing so well, the vet and I begin the process of weaning her off the tube, which required reducing her water intake through the tube. If she didn’t react well to the decrease, we’d keep the tube in.

That was the absolute worse decision. She stopped eating her dog food again within 3 days and even vomited one morning, and I have no idea why I didn’t take her to the vet right away! I called the vets on the phone and told them everything that happened as I was on the way out of town with Chyna, and they told me not to worry. They said she was probably a little dehydrated from the decreased water from her feeding tube which was part of the weaning off tube process. They also said that I was giving her her morning meds too early without allowing food to be in her belly first which was probably why she vomited. So I went back to her tube feedings while I was out of town with her because they told me there was no cause for alarm. One of the vet techs also told me to give her an increased amount of water to help her get rehydrated! WHY did I listen to that???!!!! I figure they were the experts so they couldn’t steer me wrong and I trusted them! Looking back, I believe the increased water caused my dog to die from water intoxication!!!

In the end, she died because the excess fluid from all the extra water I was incorrectly told to give her went to her lungs and caused her to become unable to breathe!!! They were unable to properly treat her dehydration ALONG WITH the removal of the excess water in her lungs at the same time so Chyna died a painful death, gasping for air. I am so riddled with guilt because when I was at the ER with her they kept asking if I wanted to euthanize her since she wasn’t going to make it but I could not bring myself to say “yes” though I saw she was suffering! I just felt that as long as her heart was beating, there was a chance a miracle could happen and she could be saved. A miracle had just happened a week ago  when she was healed when we all thought she wasn’t going to make it, so I kept praying for another one despite how it all looked. What if I euthanized her and she could have been saved??? I kept wrestling back and forth with the idea at the office! So before I could make the decision, I was able to see her again and as soon as I entered the room, her heart stopped beating! It was the worst day of my life to see my Chyna’s lifeless body, eyes wide open and tongue limply hanging out. She truly fought to the very end! The guilt I feel is far greater than my sadness: Why didn’t I bring her to vet at the first urine accident several months ago? Why did I even ask to begin the process of weaning her off her feeding tube when everything had been going so well and she was almost healed? Why didn’t I bring her back to the vet as soon as she vomited? Why did I listen to the vet tech and give Chyna all that extra water? WHY didn’t I allow her to be euthanized so she could have had a peaceful death instead of dying gasping for breath? My God, I am having trouble living with myself! I feel like I totally failed her during her last years of life! I truly believe she could have lived a few more years if it not been for so many human errors. I’m praying to God for peace!

[MartyT]

My dear, I am so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you at this sad and difficult time. Clearly you are a responsible and conscientious pet parent, and I can only imagine the Chyna-sized hole in your heart. 

From what I've read about kidney disease, it is not uncommon in older dogs. What is more, it can take so place so slowly that by the time the symptoms have become obvious, it may be too late to treat the condition effectively. And chronic kidney failure cannot be reversed or cured. That tells me that even if if Chyna's disease had been diagnosed months ago, it is likely that the outcome would be the same.

I know my telling you this does nothing to alleviate the guilt and remorse you are feeling now, and it is not my intention to take your guilt away from you. Still, in all my years of working with bereaved animal lovers, I've yet to meet a single one who didn't feel guilty ~ most especially when faced with the question of euthanasia. I don't know if you feel up to it right now, but I encourage you at some point to do some reading about this, as I think it helps to understand what you may be feeling and why. See, for example,

Pet Loss: Guilt in the Wake of the Euthanasia Decision  

Radio Interview: Pet Loss, Grief and Guilt

Meanwhile I hope it brings you some small measure of comfort to know that here you are among animal lovers who know and understand the pain and sorrow that come with the death of a beloved fur baby, because we've all been where you are now.

[Nikki D]

I am so sorry... I am crying as I read your post... I feel exactly the same way about my decision on euthanizing. I lost my big boy last month. He was only 7. There was no obvious symptom and he was gone in only 10 days after the first symptom. The last day, when my husband and I rushed to the hospital early morning, he was suffering - unable to breathe, sort of like the same situation as your baby. Because of his mast cell tumor that was on connecting tissue near his lungs, his lungs were filling up with fluid rapidly... We had to leave him at an e-vet for 2 nights, knowing he hates to be away from me and he hates to be in a crate...  I was still clinging to my hope that he could wait until 8 am that morning until the chemo therapist arrives and maybe chemo could stop the developing fluid... it was the only way to stop it.  Another hope, my last hope that I could at least bring him home to help him pass on his own bed. But unfortunately I dropped those hopes at 5 am and had to make the decision to just let him go at the hospital, as it seemed that was the best thing we could do for him. Although I still believe it was, I still ask myself, maybe we should have waited for one more hour... (It was 6;50 am when he passed, only an hour away until chemo therapist comes...) Maybe a miracle could happen and chemo could save him? at least for him to be able to hold, even for a few hours to get home? Many regrets... It has been very hard for me, too. I really really feel your pain... Chyna is so cute! I do the same thing with my dogs, too. 

[Noon]

MartyT, thank you so much for your response. The links you posted truly are helping me and it gives me some comfort to know I'm not the only one struggling with this intense guilt. I pray that one day I can forgive myself. I am so glad that this forum is available as an outlet because many people in my life who I am closest to are not "animal people" so they don't understand that Chyna was more than just a pet to me. They don't understand how I can be taking her passing so hard especially knowing that she was "an older dog", and an older sick dog at that, and they are getting a little frustrated that I'm unable to go back to being myself 100% right now. To me, the passing of my sweet baby is the same as if I lost a human relationship due to death but these people have told me point blank that this is nowhere near the same thing and the death of a beloved pet vs. the death of a beloved human cannot be compared. My closest support system are from my best friend and one aunt who lives a few states away so I thank God for them. Thank God that this site exists.

Nikki D, your reply brings tears to my eyes, too. I can't believe how similar our stories are! Hope is so hard to let go of when it comes to our babies. I just could NOT let go of my hope for her. I guess that's another reason why it's so hard right now, all my hope for her has to be gone because she is no longer here and her death is final. Chyna also hated to be away from me when it came to being at the vet and she absolutely hated being in a crate, too! She was never crated in my home. She was allowed to walk around freely at all times because she showed me long ago that she could be trusted. Chyna and I did this thing where we would wink at each other, winking with the same eye back and forth. It was like a little game we played and I always praised her when she would do it. lol! When she was in the oxygen crate during her final moments, she looked right at me through the glass as she was gasping for air and repeatedly blinked only her one eye at me to signal she wanted me to get her out! It destroyed my heart because I couldn't help her and couldn't remove her because the oxygen crate was the last ditch effort to try and help her breathe. I of course know how you feel and the pain is unbearable. I will pray for you and myself that we can somehow find our way past this and only focus on the good memories we have of our babies. I pray that God will allow us to one day forget all of the horrible memories of the scenes that led up to our babies' final moments.

Thank you for saying she's cute! I actually heard this all the time from everyone and she was always a huge hit at the vet offices, both her regular vet and the emergency staff. She absolutely loved all the attention she received, the little ham.:-)

 

[MartyT]

4 minutes ago, Noon said:

To me, the passing of my sweet baby is the same as if I lost a human relationship due to death but these people have told me point blank that this is nowhere near the same thing and the death of a beloved pet vs. the death of a beloved human cannot be compared.

My dear, I invite you to read this article, and if you are moved to do so, share it with some of those people in your life who do not understand: Is Pet Loss Comparable to Loss of a Loved One? 

[Nikki D]

I will be praying for us, too...to help us get through this difficult time and one day the memories of our babies will bring us smiles and laughter, instead of pain and tears...

I would like to share a picture of my princess (lol) She is still here with me! 

 

 

[Noon]

MartyT this is the most spot on part of the article in your last link:

"The simple fact of the matter is that the worst loss is the loss that a person is experiencing now. Grief is the normal, human reaction to loss, and the greater the attachment to that which is lost, the stronger the grief one experiences in the wake of that loss. It is the price we pay for love. "

I truly wish people would realize this. Thank you so much.

 

[Noon]

Nikki D, my heart leapt when I looked at the pictures of your princess!!!! OMG, how cute is she???!!!!! I love love love the princess set up she has!!!! My heart is eager to love another new baby—when the time is right— just by seeing your pictures and I'll be sure to share good memories of her "big sister" Chyna. So cute! Thanks so much for sharing! I really needed that smile today!!

[Maylissa]

I'll add my condolences to others' here, in the loss of your dear Chyna...such a sweet-looking boy! And I LOVE the picture of the two of you together. I'm just so terribly sorry...

And I, too, am no stranger to your kind of story, nor to the crushing guilt that accompanies our huge losses. I can also highly relate, more than you know, to several similarities regarding kidney/bladder/lung fluid/harsh death issues. I still usually find it too agonizing to talk about much, regarding the death of my always beloved fur-son, Sabin (the black cat in my avatar). I wish I had exact answers for you, and I'm not trying to depress you or anyone else, but the truth is, I still carry some of that guilt and remorse (since they're different beasts), even years after doing so much grief work. I'm not sure I will ever be rid of 100% of that, unless I can ever afford to do some other, related things that may potentially entirely change my perspectives and experiences. So your post had me crying, too, in remembrance, and in heartfelt empathy.

It is also very difficult to deal with beating ourselves up, in conjunction with blaming professionals....but I'll say that more often than I ever used to think possible, I've learned that guilt often belongs more with them, rather than with us. But either way, we then also begin the long, arduous process of forgiveness...towards ourselves, and if possible, towards others. Truthfully, I'm still not quite there on either account, even years later.

Life has so many uncontrollable aspects to it, it's a wonder any of us even survive the toll it takes on our souls. And I think it's impossible to focus solely on the "good memories" we have, since our grief, in all its related aspects, becomes a part of us, meaning there usually is no annihilating it entirely from the continuum of our feelings and thoughts. We can only do the best we can, or can't, at any given time during these agonizing journeys. 

As for those who don't "get it," I'd suggest ignoring them and their "unconsciousness" as best you can. It's their loss that they don't understand, even though that often means we're the ones made to suffer for it. Just avoid them until "if or when" you're feeling stronger....and even then, be wary around such people, and don't share anything you might later regret. The damage they can do when we're in our most vulnerable states can be incalculable. That quote (above) is TRUE, so use it and let it really sink in deeply. 

Again, I'm so very sorry, Noon, for your loss of your sweet boy, Chyna.

[kayc]

Noon,

My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious little dog.  I wish there were something I could say to help you feel better, but I know all too well the pain of losing a beloved pet, and feeling inconsolable.  I also know the feeling of guilt of wishing I'd done this or that differently, or if only I had known!  The truth is, we love our animals with all our hearts and would do anything we could for them...and none of us are blessed with hindsight ahead of time.  If only we could have known something...but we didn't.  We rely on vets to steer us in the way we should go, just as we rely on doctors for ourselves.  But sometimes it's not an exact science, and sometimes they interpret things wrong, and sometimes they miss the boat and steer us wrong.  I felt that way when I lost my 19 year old cat, King George.  He was the best family cat one could ever have, a greeter, a lap cat, with a high opinion of himself, and aptly named KING George.  And he suffered needlessly the last month of his life because the emergency vet I'd taken him too misdiagnosed him.  Had I known how miserably sick he was, I would have had him euthanized a month sooner, eliminating at least that last month of suffering.  But I didn't know.  I can't change the past, but I know he forgives me, because that's the kind of cat he was, he knew I loved him, I knew he loved me...just as your little dog knows.

It's not too late to tell her how you feel, to thank her for being the best little dog one could ever have, your companion and best friend.  And assure her you'll be with her again and tell her she can romp and play with other dogs while she waits.  

I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what a gap they leave in our hearts when they leave before us.

[Noon]

Thank you so much for your notes, Maylissa and kayc. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond to my post and your words truly offer me comfort.

[Noon]

My prayer for today:

Dear Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus, we come to You today to thank You for waking us all up this morning. Thank You for that gift. Lord, give us peace with any decision You make even when it hurts us. Lord, thank You that when WE hurt, YOU hurt along with us. You don’t like to see any of Your children sad, but at the same time, You never promised us a life free of grief and sadness. But THANK YOU, Jesus, that even though we will all experience these feelings in our each of our lives at some point, You promised to always be there for us holding us tightly. You know about every tear we shed whether it’s in public or in private. When we soak our pillows with tears in the middle of the night, You see us and You will comfort us. Lord, we believe you WILL give us beauty for these ashes and thank You for the beautiful memories You left me with of Chyna. She was the most perfect, sweet dog and I thank You that you blessed my life with her. She was just what I needed in my life and though I miss her terribly, when You say it’s time to go back home, it’s time. You have reasons for Your decision and we have to trust You through our hurt and pain. Lord, help me rebuke these feelings of guilt that I have. If You wanted me to know what I needed to know to save Chyna, You had the power to open my eyes. However, You chose to blind my eyes to what I needed to do because it was Chyna’s time to go back to You. Lord, just give me, and US, comfort to know You don’t do what You do to cause us fear and hurt. Nothing can ever replace my sweet baby Chyna, but Lord I thank you that one day, my heart will be totally free to love another little baby again, while still keeping the good memories of her. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

[Nikki D]

Noon,

Thank you so much for sharing your prayer. It is exactly what I need to hear. I also believe that there is always a reason when things happen - we may not know the reason now, we may find out soon, or years later, or it could be after we are taken back home ... Just like you say, I think it was time for our babies to go - it was the decision made by a higher power.  I want to believe that even it hurts so much, it is the best decision for our babies and us. Some day we'll find out why the decision was made and know that it was in deed the best decision.  

You said your heart was eager to love another baby. I admire your braveness. I haven't got there yet, I am still scared of going through this again... But I also know there are SO MANY unfortunate fur babies (and human, too) out there who have been abused, neglected, abandoned, don't even know what being loved feel like...  This is also a reminder of a fact that our babies we just lost were very fortunate that they were well taken care of and are still very much loved by us.

There may be someone already waiting for you to give her/him your love!

[Noon]

Nikki D I'm glad the prayer is helping you, too. I felt the need to write down my thoughts, as it really helps to express my feelings here. Talking about it openly makes the heaviness feel a little bit lighter, day by day.

The first few days after Chyna passed away, I was adamant, I'd NEVER, EVER have another pet again because I can't ever imagine having to go through this hurt again, it's TOO MUCH to bear... but little by little, despite my reluctance to feel this way, the longing for a fur baby started to come back, much quicker than I expected. Growing up I ALWAYS ALWAYS loved dogs, but I couldn't have one while living at home with my parents because they felt I wasn't ready for the responsibility and also they are not really into animals (everyone is different).... so when I was able to move out on my own into my first apartment, that longing for a pet overwhelmed me and I finally got a dog of my very own. I was in Heaven with Chyna, she was so perfect for me! Even while Chyna was still here with me, I could never resist petting a stranger's dog and to this day, I can never pass up a chance to play with any dog I come in contact with. The urge is always overwhelming. If I ever came across a stray dog who wasn't afraid to come to me when I called, I'd take him in so he wouldn't be hit by a car later and in the hopes I'd be able to reunite him with his owner. I was actually able to reunite one dog with her owner after this poor dog had been missing for 3 whole weeks! The lady had been understandably distraught all that time without her baby and meanwhile had been praying that her dog would find it's way back home. It was purely by the grace of God that I found the missing dog's ad on Craigslist almost instantly! When the lady and her doggie reunited, the dog literally howled nonstop in joy and the lady was in tears...that was one of the BEST moments of my life to witness!

I think that once you develop a deep love for animals, it never truly leaves you, even if you try to resist it. My mind kept telling me NO, NEVER AGAIN, it's too painful when they leave us but my heart has  a mind of its own and so much love still available for an animal. I love all dogs, but I have always had a special love for shelter dogs and any dog I ever get must be adopted from one. I always have a desire to give them that chance to know what being utterly spoiled is like and I would take them ALL home if I could and would pamper each to no end. Animals have such an unconditional love for us and I think it's this pure love that makes me prefer them even more than people sometimes! lol! They are so sweet and just having YOU come home to them each day is the best parts of their EVERY day. I love caring for them. I have always said–and still say—that for me personally, a home doesn't feel like a HOME to me unless there's an animal living there. It doesn't feel natural to me to come home now to an empty house and not have to take my baby out for her evening walk. Contrary to what people may think, I don't really "enjoy" all this free time I now have after 12 years. Whenever I go to someone's animal-free house, it always seems like something is missing there, to me.

I love my Chyna with all my heart and soul and I'm not trying to find another pet to take her place, but one day I'd like to welcome a new addition, almost in honor of her, as strange as it may sound. My love for animals didn't pass away along with her and I feel she'd want me to give another baby a chance to be spoiled like I spoiled her since she's no longer here and now, another dog can be allowed to have that chance, too. At the right time, whenever that may be (who knows?), I'll be ready again. I'll just need to lean heavily on God once again when their time comes to go back home, because I feel like I can't let the fear of losing someone cause me to be afraid to love fully and completely again. Some other animal out their needs that love, maybe even their life is depending on it.

[Nikki D]

Interesting how we have so much in common! I've always been a "dog person" and at some point, I prefer being with dogs more than with people! My Kura was the same way - he preferred people more than dogs... that's probably why we had a very strong bond together. lol

I am the same way with lost dogs, too.  About a year ago, I saw a pitbull curled up in front of someone's mail box alongside the street while I was driving. He didn't have a collar. I stopped my car to see what I can do- for the same reason.. I didn't want him to get hit by a car. I called my husband but he was totally against my idea of bringing him home to keep him until we find owner or someone to take him. I had to agree with him in that we couldn't put our own in danger, you'll never know the dog may have something contagious. While I was standing on the side of the road, making sure he didn't walk up to the road and wondering what else I could do, a gentleman drove by stopped and asked if everything was OK. He called his wife, who is an animal rescuer, to come. She came with a leash and water for him. We asked around the neighbors to see if they knew the dog and found out that he had been sitting around there since the night before and they all thought someone ditched him there. So the couple decided to take him until they find someone who could take care of him while searching for his owner (if they were looking for him) or a foster parent. After that I even thought about getting a metal fence and an igloo dog house that we can put outside of our fenced-in yard, this way, if I ever encounter a stray dog, we can temporary keep it there and our dogs are still protected. My husband agreed to the idea but the cost of it was a bit much and to this day we haven't had it set up yet. But luckily I haven't seen any strays since then.

We also rescued a 10-year-old chihuahua, I believe it was November last year. One day, out of blue. my 4-year-old granddaughter said when she was at my house, "Nana, (her friend's name) hits (the dog's name) all the time. Everybody hits her." Being a dog lover, it brought a huge concern. With my daughter and one lady from our Greyhound rescue group's help, we were finally able to pull the poor dog out of the misery. She was being hit, ignored, confined in a tiny cage, and wasn't getting any medical treatment needed. The lady was at first supposed to foster her soon fell in love with her and took her in to her "house for rescues" with other fur friends. We got her just in time to save her life because the Chihuahua had a tumor in her front leg and was in a poor health condition. We chipped in the vet bills (God bless her the lady paid most of it out of her pocket), the poor Chihuahua finally got spayed, received all the necessary shots, and the surgery to amputate the leg to prevent the cancer to be spread. Now she is thriving, enjoying her life for the first time ever, and getting spoiled rotten! 

[Nikki D]

Here is a picture of the Chi... Can you tell she has been spoiled?  I thought you might get a kick out of it! 

[MartyT]

Wonderful stories, ladies! Thank you for sharing ~ and it is heartwarming to know there are people like you in this world who look out for lost or abused animals  ♥

[kayc]

Noon, loved your story about reuniting a lady with her dog!  

Nikki, never saw a dog in an outfit like that!  And I get teased about my dog's purple coat!  I've since customized it to fit him perfectly and be able to get it on/off him with ease, as it slid down too far on him, I've also added a collar to it so it covers his neck.

[Noon]

6 hours ago, Nikki D said:

We also rescued a 10-year-old chihuahua, I believe it was November last year. One day, out of blue. my 4-year-old granddaughter said when she was at my house, "Nana, (her friend's name) hits (the dog's name) all the time. Everybody hits her." Being a dog lover, it brought a huge concern. With my daughter and one lady from our Greyhound rescue group's help, we were finally able to pull the poor dog out of the misery. She was being hit, ignored, confined in a tiny cage, and wasn't getting any medical treatment needed. The lady was at first supposed to foster her soon fell in love with her and took her in to her "house for rescues" with other fur friends. We got her just in time to save her life because the Chihuahua had a tumor in her front leg and was in a poor health condition. We chipped in the vet bills (God bless her the lady paid most of it out of her pocket), the poor Chihuahua finally got spayed, received all the necessary shots, and the surgery to amputate the leg to prevent the cancer to be spread. Now she is thriving, enjoying her life for the first time ever, and getting spoiled rotten! 

Oh my goodness, Nikki D, I thoroughly enjoyed reading the latest note, but this part especially!!!!!! I thought that you would say the little chihuahua passed away as I neared the end but I am overjoyed that the little lady is still alive and well!!! And the picture you posted of her in her little tutu is beyond adorable!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! I love all of this!!!! We do have so much in common!

[Noon]

kayc, your picture made me laugh out loud because this is just too cute!! I love dogs in outfits, as you may have guessed!  I can never get enough of these types of photos!!

[Noon]

Head's up! A bunch of ChynaKat pix to share! These are only a few of my favorites!

[kayc]

OMG, too cute!  Love the shades!

BTW, the recliner Arlie is sitting on belongs to him!  Nobody spoiled here!

[Noon]

Just now, kayc said:

OMG, too cute!  Love the shades!

BTW, the recliner Arlie is sitting on belongs to him!  Nobody spoiled here!

AHHHHH!!! Now that I'm looking at Arlie's picture again, I NOW see the scale of the recliner in relation to him!!!!! I really can't handle the cuteness now! It's too much to bear!! He is the man! I love it!

[Nikki D]

Aww... They are too cute to resist - I just want to kiss them on their cute noses!!!

Noon, I love the pink dress on Chyna! She looks like a celebrity! She is a precious little thing!

Kayc,  What breed is Arlie? I love the king's throne he is sitting on! Did you make the coat for Arlie yourself? Very nice! I love the fabric and color of the coat. We also get laughed at sometimes about the coats and pajamas Greyhounds wear... They look at us like "These people must be insane.."  What people don't understand is that Greyhounds don't have body fats to protect themselves from cold weather, they have to have those to keep them warm, especially Saya... she doesn't have much fur!

 

 

[Nikki D]

OK, it's my turn to share my "craziness"!

Note: Kura was a BOY... I just had to do this... I think he looked beautiful in a princess outfit, though. I am sorry, Ku-chan for doing that to you. I was a bad mommy...