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I went on a short canoe trip down the Vertie River this morning, as a canoe guide of the Vertie birding festival; I have done this for years and always really enjoyed it.   The trip is so popular it fills immediately as soon as it's available online, and we treat the folks like royalty, ending up with a gourmet pizza lunch at this amazing place a couple has right on the river  that has all kinds of animals and flowers and crafts and cool stuff from all over.  The couple who owns and runs this operation a really nice and interesting people from New York who are in love with this area now that they're here.

 Yesterday, as I was trudging up to my house to water the plants, I was thinking I didn't have the strength to do this trip, but I heard my dad talking to me saying something like " it's just a canoe trip – you've been canoeing since you were about three – just go !"

 So, I went and amazing that off, I felt pretty much like myself. Now that I am at home  I can't believe I'm so tired.  I guess that's OK though… It doesn't usually make me this tired,  but this is not my average year… I have this underlying exhaustion like an undertow. So I guess I did OK. 

 I also did these two little paintings, one sitting on the back of the canoe during a little break, and the other of an iris in their yard dash the outdoor oven  pizza couple.  They have cons of hollyhocks all over the place that are about to start blooming in and I asked them if they would let me come back and paint in a few weeks when school Is over and the hollyhocks are blooming.

 This is he would love to have me come paint their hollyhocks – how nice is that! Since I live in a condo there is a real limit to how many flowers I can have growing outside, which is a little hard on me. If I didn't own my own condo they would probably throw me out because of an excess of flowers outside, as crazy as that is.  It was really cool, when I had my dads yard as well as my own for planting, but I'll be down to just one, now that he's gone.

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That sounds amazing, you're fortunate to be there and to be a canoe guide on top of it!  You must live in an amazing area.

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I do live in an amazing place. Sedona is beautiful itself, and is also close to the Verde Valley, Flagstaff, and not too far from the Grand Canyon. The Verde Valley has a little river running through it and an entire riparian area which is host to a whole world of birds, water birds, migrating birds, otters, fish, and other creatures. It's particularly magical because you drive through the area and only see that there is a low spot-in a very dry open valley-that looks a little greener. And there's a whole world down there! It's magical 

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I started this with the question, "Is this a fluke?" and the answer seems to be clear that it is not a fluke. I really do seem to have come around a corner to feeling better. It's still up and down, but now the downs are not as low and the ups are not just up to zero-but go sometimes into the positive range. As you can see from my screen name change, I no longer feel lost and alone, and I credit youall on the forum for a lot of that. I am on a path and not lost at all.

I feel more like myself. Today I had most of my kids in counseling doing art therapy, doing the "wet into wet" technique, and found myself waving my arms and fingers around to demo how the colors would mix together to dance and play if you just gave them enough water to move around. We were working on how watercolor is a flow between having control and letting the water flow where you have very little control. This can be nerve-wracking.One little girl was so distraught about watching the water make her paint flow all over that she started sobbing and crawled under the table. I started to panic just a little and think-uh-oh--am I a terrible counselor or what! But when she saw how beautiful it looked when it dried, she was all smiles again. I felt like myself...

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