She's gone 5/5/16

[T2Logan]

My mom passed away at 10 this morning on the dot. My dad happened to be out at the store, I was laying next to her. She was listening to a playlist I made and had her favorite TV show on. I strongly feel she waited for my dad to be out of the house. These past 8 weeks seemed so long, but looking back now that it's over, feel like it went so quickly. I don't really have words at the moment. I'm kind of numb, but taking charge and making/receiving phone calls that need to be made. Now I'm kind of laying here thinking "now what??" When you go from caretaker, constant anxiety and anticipation waiting for "the moment" to...it's over, you're at a loss. I'm just laying here watching Netflix and have a stress headache that won't go away. I'm not sure what else I can do at this moment. I will have a lot to process within the next few weeks I'm sure.

I will say that she always said she wanted us to celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. Today is Cinco de Mayo so perhaps that isn't coincidence, I don't know.

[enna]

I send my thoughts and prayers for you and your family. A celebration of life indeed. We are here for you as you need us. You will find love and support here as you process what has happened. 

Anne

[KATPILOT]

My thoughts are with you too T2Logan.  I know it's a sad day indeed. I was with my mom when she died in her home and my dad who never left went across the street to the grocery store and she left before he could return. He was devastated but the truth is that they do often wait till that someone has left if just to save them from the pain. There is a lot of truth to that.  A hospice nurse told me that it happens so very often. Such a hard time with mothers day this Sunday. We will be thinking of you,  your father, and your family.

[MartyT]

[Clematis]

I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. It's so hard to suddenly go from the activity and anxiety of caregiving into the free fall numbness when they go. I thing my dad waited until I left, and that seems to happen a lot. Please be very careful and take care of yourself. In the very beginning you have to pay close attention to taking care of yourself, especially when you are walking, driving, etc. Make sure to eat and drink and sleep and all of those things. It's so easy in the beginning to fall, lose things, etc. because you may not be paying as much attention as you think. I'm glad you and your dad have each other. Keep us posted and remember we're here for you...

[kayc]

Logan,

I am so sorry...words are inadequate right now.  Perhaps she did choose the day.  My heart goes out to you and your dad.

[Sweetwater]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.  The pain of losing a Mom is incredible.... Thoughts and prayers go out to you as you mourn and deal with this.  Nothing we say right now will help... nothing. Know that you have many people that care about you and who know what yo are feeling.

Be strong

 

[T2Logan]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It seems so long ago, but yesterday at the same time. It's been 2 weeks and still doesn't seem real, even at the visitation. I can logically *know* as you can see I'm able to discuss it, but emotionally I'm still pretty much... Numb? If I do feel anything, it's deep depression or anger. I also noticed my capacity to handle the number of work tasks has greatly diminished and I get overwhelmed.

[kayc]

That's normal (work), I had my boss check my work when I came back after my husband died, I found myself doing stupid things and not even remembering.