Date of Death

[Misty523]

This is my first adult experience with a loved one dying.  My grandparents died when I was young and I do not remember much of any of it.  My mother entered her eternal rest on Sept 12 2015.  My work involves a verification of the date of birth.  Whenever 9/11 or 9/12 come up it brings me to tears.  I can't be like this I must control myself.  People at work just do not get it.  I wonder when will I be over this?  I know the answer is that I may never be over it.   

[kayc]

You probably will never be "over" it, but you will adjust to it more, little by little.  Your work requires verification of your mom's birthdate?  That's weird, no one has ever asked my mom's. 

[Misty523]

It is because I work for a healthcare insurance company and we have to verify the date of birth of the person we are talking to.  This is order to make sure we have the right person.  

Thank you for your words of encouragement.  This date thing    just seems to be a real stumbling block.

[iPraiseHim]

Misty, We all have reminders that "trigger" our grief.  We imagine ourselves to "be strong" and beat ourselves up because we cry and grieve.  I was also fortunate to not experience grief until much later in life.  I could see others go through it but I never understood as much as I do now.  When we love someone we will experience grief.  When we love someone deeply it will hit us even more profoundly.

Please lighten up on yourself and your own expectations.  A friend told me to stop "shoulding" on myself. It will mess up your psyche.  MartyT has a lot of excellent resources to help you.  They have helped me in dealing with the death of my wife 15 months ago.  Shalom - George 

[kayc]

My mom died 1 1/2 years ago.  My internet provider requires her maiden name when I call them, it serves as a trigger to me too.  I wish people let us select what WE want to provide to assure them we are who we say we are.