Mom's angel Posted June 17, 2016 Report Share Posted June 17, 2016 I'm feeling depressed again, it's like the progress I've made till this day is all gone and I'm standing right at the first day of the grief journey. I've been like this since two days, again feeling like 'I cannot do it anymore'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 17, 2016 Report Share Posted June 17, 2016 I'm so sorry. Sometimes I wish we weren't limited by computers, that we could reach across cyberspace and give a hug. I know this is the way grief is, the ups and downs...eventually we get used to the ebbs and flows of grief and learn to stick it out, that our feelings don't stay the same from one week to the next. I don't recall if you've said, but have you seen a grief counselor? It really can make a difference. Also, Marty has a course you can sign up for, it really does take a lot of work to get through our grief and it doesn't seem to have any shortcuts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2016 Report Share Posted June 18, 2016 I'm sorry,mom's angel.I know it often feels like two steps forward and 1000 steps back.Ironically,the people we need most,at this,the worst time in our lives,(our moms)are the ones we don't have here to comfort us.It seems cruel and wrong and unfair.Even more so for someone like you,who lost your mom when you were both still young.Kay might have a good idea there,maybe a grief counselor would help.Ive had it mentioned to me to,the idea of opening up,face to face with a complete stranger is sort of frightening,but I'm considering it.My mom would want me to get all the help I could,and Im sure your mom would to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom's angel Posted June 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2016 Thank you kayc and kristin2, No I'm not seeing any grief counselor, I can't find any. ( I'll search for the course, kayc). Today I'm feeling very lowww. So the thing is my family and friends they encouraged me to give entrance exams for two top universities. I thought I won't be able to pass any but to my surprise I passed them and was among the 20 selected students out of some 800 students in one university and was among 120 selected students for the other university. I selected the one that was my mom's and mine dream university. We discussed it before I started the college, we discussed about that uni when I was in my third year. We both admired the university but the problem is now I'm not happy instead my admission is making me feel sad. It is all I ever wanted but it is of no importance without my mom, I just don't know where my life is going.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 19, 2016 Report Share Posted June 19, 2016 You should be proud! And do it to honor your mom, I think she'd be real pleased! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom's angel Posted June 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2016 I know I should be but I'm not. I'm scared, I don't know if I can go through all of this once again. I don't know if I would pass this time? I just want to hear my mom's opinion about my fears, my admission. Right now I want her so bad that I can do anything literally anything to talk to her, to hug her and cry my insecurities out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 19, 2016 Report Share Posted June 19, 2016 We've had others who have lost a parent and doubted their ability to make it through college, and with our encouragement, they talked to the advisers and teachers, and they stayed in and they passed! You passed the entrance exams and the college wants you, you can do it. The only one who can make that decision is you though, I just want you to know we're behind you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 19, 2016 Report Share Posted June 19, 2016 Moms angel,I'm old and I'm also making plans to go back to school.I have spinal nerve issues which makes it impossible to work as a nurses aide,like I once did.I don't drive because of anxiety,which means I have to take the bus,twice a day,everyday,in slippery,freezing Canadian winters,and look after my kids 100 percent on my own.But I have no choice,even though I'm terrified!.Its either that,or stay on disability and feel sorry for myself.My mom wanted a good life for me and my children.Thats all any great mom wants for their child.You can do it,please don't give up!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom's angel Posted June 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Kayc, thanks for supporting me, I understand what you're saying and I'll try my best this time also. Kristin2, you are also doing a lot of things and it is inspiring. I feel good after posting here. Thanks for replying guys. My mom is a great inspiration for me, she faced many difficulties and raised her children, today the Person I'm, my way of thinking and everything is because of her. She did so many things for me and I sure can try studying in the university that she wanted me to be in and make her proud. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 20, 2016 Report Share Posted June 20, 2016 Good for you, Angel. I attended the same university where my father went to medical school, and every day I was there, no matter how challenging it became for me, I thought of my father and how much I wanted to do my best so he would be proud of me. Doing your best as a way to honor your mother is powerful stuff, and you can use that power to your advantage, no matter what challenges you face in life. You say that your mom is a great inspiration for you, and that is what will get you through the tough times. She is with you always, just as my father is always with me, right here in my heart . . . ♥ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom's angel Posted July 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 I've decided to go to the university in which my mom wanted me to go.. It is a big step for me.. I'm collecting all my courage to just do it.. To do it for her.. For her belief in me... It's starting from Monday... And I'm going there.. The place is new, the life I'll be living there is different.. This past days most of the time I've been in my room, thoughts are spinning in my head.. But I'm just shaking it all off and have decided to do it.. I knew She'll be with me all the time.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 2, 2016 Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 Good for you! You'll do fine, you'll see. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted July 9, 2016 Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 On June 19, 2016 at 11:38 AM, Mom's angel said: I know I should be but I'm not. I'm scared, I don't know if I can go through all of this once again. I don't know if I would pass this time? I just want to hear my mom's opinion about my fears, my admission. Right now I want her so bad that I can do anything literally anything to talk to her, to hug her and cry my insecurities out. I know what you mean-I feel like this myself about my dad's loss in my life. I'm not sure what anything really means without him to share it with, It's hard to even believe my life is real and will continue sometimes. I hear him talking to me, almost every day, but it's not the same as having him here. I knew I would miss him when he was gone- and he was 88 with Parkinson's, but we both thought he would have another five years or so. I had no idea that the world would seem like a totally different place without him. I am glad to hear you were accepted into the college she wanted you to go to and that you have good feelings about that. It's hard losing your parents, for so many different reasons... I often feel afraid and worried about the future, having lost my safety net, my advisor, my companion and best friend when I lost my dad. It's hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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