R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I got a call from my Dad that my dear mom laid down yesterday evening for a nap and she never woke. She's gone. The first thing I did was look for my Mary for love. . I thank God Gracie got to meet her Great Grammy. My mom was 77. She lived a long life. She and Mary were best friends. I am not sure how to feel right now. Just numb. My Dad is a wreck. He's staying with me. So we can make arrangements. Butch 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Gracie and her great Grammy ❤️ 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I'm so sorry Butch. Such a beautiful picture. It's good your dad has you. And you have your loving family. I think your mom got to see her best friend once again. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I'm so sorry, Butch, to learn of the death of your dear mom. One devastating loss after another. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch, so sorry to hear of your Mom's death. I am glad she got to meet Gracie. Gin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Thank you all. She'd not felt right since getting home from a week in FL. But I told Dad she's probably tired. But it was her heart that was tired I guess. She lived a great life. I'm thankful for that. She was a great mom for sure. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch- You have my heartfelt condolences. Blessings on you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mom, Butch. You and your family are in my prayers. As others have said I'm so glad your mom met Gracie. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch, I'm glad your dad is staying with you, it helps to have family around when you go through this and you understand what he's going through. I'll add your father and you to my prayers, your whole family. It's hard when it comes as a shock like this. I'm glad they got their vacation in and I'm glad she didn't suffer, but now it's those left paying the price for love. I'm glad she had time with Gracie, that is a lovely picture! I hope she's able to perk your dad up too. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Thank you ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch - so sorry to hear about your mom. I know it's going to be hard, but we are here for you and sending you prayers and hugs. Joyce 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch, I am so sorry about your mom. We tend to think of our parents as having lived a long life. I thought my dad was old at 64. I thought Billy was young at 75. I understand tired and my thoughts and heart are with you and your family.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I'm so sorry to learn of your loss. Marita 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Thank you all i am pretty numb right now. I feel like I need to hold things together for my dad son and grandsons. But it's huge losing the one other beautiful most amazing woman in my life. Mary and my mom are together though now. I really miss my wife. She would take care of it all. She'd be strong for everyone. But it's my job now. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Butch, my heart is with you, it is so hard when it is "our job now." Again, my heart is with you and your family. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Marty, I apologize for posting this thread in loss of spouse. If you need to move it I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I don't know how to switch from grief for my wife to start grieving for my mother. She was so important to me like Mary but it's a very different loss. Its foreign to me And I still have my dad. Its foreign to him to lose the love of his life since age 17. He's 77 he's knows nothing other than his darling wife of 60 years. Mary and I had 34 years . 60 is so long together. She was the greatest mom. She loved her grandson and great grandsons and new great granddaughter. She did for me things I never even asked of her. She was involved immensely. Im rambling. Because I don't know how to be what to feel. This is foreign. Grief isn't foreign. But losing a mom is. I hope I have my dad for many more years. But the bond between my mom and he was tight. They did everything together. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted June 24, 2016 Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 I really feel for you Butch. You have suffered so many traumas in a short time. I wonder if their are two different grieving feelings happening? I think it is grief added to grief, that it is blended. There isn't any disrespect to those you are grieving. You won't be grieving less for Mary because of the grief you are feeling for your Mom. I hope I'm not talking out of turn. Please take time to breathe and care for your needs. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 You're not speaking out of turn. You make sense when nothing right now makes much sense to me. Thank you so much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 24, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 24, 2016 Just thinking the world is going on now for 24 hours since my mom passed. My mind and heart are blown at how the world could still be turning and going on and seeing the leaves in the trees blowing in the sun that will soon set when my mom is gone and my wife is gone. How could it be... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Butch, my dear, you are in fact mourning two very different losses. Honor both of them. Set aside whatever time you need to tune into whatever you think and feel about each of these significant losses. As a matter of fact, given what you have experienced these last few years, you probably know more than most how to go about this mourning process. Your own babies, your grandbabies, your sister-in-law, your precious wife, your mother ~ your own physical health, and that of your son ~ each and every one of these is worthy of your grief, and of your taking time to mourn each of them, separately and together. Take whatever time you need. Feel whatever you feel. Acknowledge the pain and the sorrow. Don't hold it in. Let it all out. You already know what to do and how to do this . . . ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 I already know the grieving process yes but I don't know how to lose my mom. A memorial is tentatively set for Tuesday. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Yes, losing your mom is very unique. I lost mine almost two years ago, I'm not sure anything prepares you for it. They have always been there for us, as long as we've been alive so it's hard to know how to do life without them. Knowing my mom is in a better (for her) place and that we'll be together again is what helped me through it. You'll be in my prayers as you prepare for this memorial service...that will occupy your time and attention, but when it is over, that's when it starts to sink in. Hold on to the ones you love. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharKath Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Butch, So sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. I'm so glad your dad is staying with you. Your going to need each other. The picture of Gracie and your mom is precious. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Butch-I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. It's really hard on top of your other losses. It's nice that she was able to meet Gracie and that your dad is staying with you. I hope you and your dad can be of support to each other. I'm sure he is really staggering under this. My parents met when they were something like 10 and 12; they were childhood friends and then met up again and began dating in college. He lived 11 years after her death and never really got over losing her. But he made the decision at some point to hang on, I think really for me...but it was really hard for him to lose her. I'm sure it is for your dad as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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