One year

[Degasgirl]

July 4th will mark the one year anniversary of my mom's death. The date is looming over me causing me much anxiety and emotion. I haven't posted in a long time here. I've been doing well, involved with a wonderful support group with other women who also lost mothers. I don't cry every time I talk to my dad anymore (they were married 55 years!). But this one year date is really hard. Every thing is coming rushing back to me. Even the foods that people brought over that night and next day are fresh in my mind. Very weird. I'm not sure what you are supposed to do on that day. Do I go up to my dad's ( they live about 2 hours away)? Should I see if my dad wants to come to our house? I still haven't been to see the headstone. That's also looming over me. I just don't feel ready to do that- but will I ever? Just feeling very miserable right now.

[kayc]

Only you can decide what is the right way for you to handle that day.  I think the anniversaries of death are really tough.  It helps to have a plan but I don't always, sometimes I just wing it.  I've found it helps me to keep busy.  Father's Day was 11 years to the day since my husband died, it was hard, even though I was busy the first half of the day.  I had to deal with it alone as everyone always has their family plans on Father's Day.  My mind went back to the day...it's weird how you can remember every little thing, that's because emotion locks in all of the sights, smells, sounds of that time and solidify them in your memory/brain.  Anything sensory like that day can bring you right back to that moment.

You might talk to your dad and see what would make him most comfortable that day and go from there. 

[MartyT]

See also In Grief: Dreading The Anniversary of a Loved One's Death (including the Related Articles listed at the base).  ♥