dillon

[gordon]

I don't know how to begin  to tell you how much I miss and love my dog Dillon, he was just 3 years old, I am a farmer and raised Dillon around tractors and machinery he went everywhere I went, no matter where I went he was always there by my side, we would  go out every chance we could get to run along side of my 4 wheeler and explore all the things along the way, he would play fetch anytime you have time, then a month and 2 weeks ago I was clipping pasture and Dillon was riding with me,when all of a sudden he fell off and before I coukd stop he was under the rear tire, I tried to back up and tractor was stuck between two gears and couldn't move it I tried ti pull him out but couldnt all the while he was crying, tore my heart out, finally I used  a whrech to pry linkage ahead and instead of tractor backing up it ran the rest of the way over him, I  lay on the ground with  him telling him don't die, don't die, don't die he was still alive but with a broken rear leg and crying, I picked him up and carried him to my truck , went and got my wife who also loved him very much also, went to animal hospital a hour away, where said he had a ruptured diaphragm between his bowels and his lungs and they said there was very little chance that he would survive, so we had them end his suffering, never have I felt such sorrow in my 73 years of life, I still cry thinking about that day with him under that tire I'm just hoping someday when I pass on that we will be joined together again, as they say at the rainbow bridge, everyday is hard to get through when I think of what happened, hope this never happens to anyone else, there really is hell on earth, I hope it is better someday

[enna]

I am so sorry to hear of this terrible accident.  I can only imagine how very sad you and your wife must be. As an animal lover, the tears were falling from my eyes as I read your story. My belief is that we will see our beloved pets one day.   

[kayc]

Gordon,

I am so sorry for you and your wife's loss.  It must have been very hard for you to see him go through this, the helpless feeling, the heartbreak!  My heart goes out to you as you try to process this.  I, too, believe that we will be reunited again one day and that the one who made us watches over all, including our beloved dogs.  There is so much I want to say to comfort you but I know that words are inadequate.  

[MartyT]

My heart just hurts for you, Gordon. The love you have for your beloved Dillon is apparent in every word you've written, and I've no doubt that your dear dog felt every ounce of that love, even as you loved him onto that Rainbow Bridge. The guilt (and anger) you must feel in the aftermath of this horrible tragedy is completely understandable ~ and serves as a testament to the kind of man you are (because only good people feel guilty) ~ but I hope you will come to recognize this as an accident. You had no intention of bringing harm to your dearly loved companion, and knowing how much you loved him, I feel certain that Dillon knew that, too.

You and I are the same age, and with age comes experience. So I know that you've lived life long enough to know that life is difficult, and accidents do happen. Terrible as it was, this was an accident, and I know you wish with all your heart that you could go back and change what happened, but that is not an option. My prayer for you is that, given sufficient time to explore how much Dillon meant to you, you will recognize exactly how much you have lost, so that you can identify and understand your own reactions to this terrible loss and find some ways to deal with them. Spending some time reading other posts in this forum will demonstrate to you that you are not alone. We're all animal lovers here, and some of us have been in your shoes, having suffered the accidental death of our own beloved fur babies.

I don't know if you feel up to doing some further reading, but I hope at some point you'll find these articles helpful:

Grief and the Burden of Guilt

Coping with Pet Loss: "Am I Crazy to Feel So Sad About This?"

 

[gordon]

thank you for your understanding, your words are quite helpful, I know time is very hard to go thru waiting for things to get better, but my faith in god helps me every day, your other articles help me realize that you  cant go back and change things, only go on and try to forgive yourself, be as hard as it may seem to do, ill always remember the good times Dillon and I had together, and hope and pray we will again sometime in the future, thank you all for your support.

[Marj37]

Hi Gordon

You found the absolute perfect place to tell us your heart story.   I'm so sorry for the horrible accident.  My heart goes out to you and your wife.   As another older  animal lover I know how we love our companions.  It's a day by day, or sometimes minute by minute journey .

[gordon]

thank you for your concern and understanding

[kayc]

I, too, believe you will be with him again...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQvYh_3Atw