ckoeppel Posted October 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 Crossmateo, I don't think it would be strange at all to hang her stocking. I plan to do the exact same. Honestly, I still have Ruby's bed out in our bedroom where she slept. It was difficult to get rid of her crate and gate, but I couldn't part with her toys, clothes, or bed. I am suffering alone, too. I talk to Ruby and have so much proof of her spirit being with me. I have taken photos and shown the pictures to my family to provide proof. They see it but claim I had a mental breakdown and I am crazy. I just shared a pic with my youngest daughter today via text and she sent back a text stating "I have had enough of these crazy texts. Stop sending them and go get help." I am perfectly fine just suffering alone with no support, compassion, or love from anyone in my family. Of course I don't want to be patronized saying they see what I see, but they could be a little more gentle with their words and understand I am still grieving. It gives me personal peace to know her spirit is with me. It seems to me that we are two individuals that are exactly alike. We can lean on each other for support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 5, 2016 Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 I'm so sorry that others don't appreciate what these precious beings meant to you ~ especially when these "others" are members of your own family. Remember, though, that it is the relationship you had with the one you lost that serves to explain your personal reaction to the loss. Only YOU know how attached you were to your fur baby, and so only YOU can measure exactly how much you have lost. Grief is a very personal ~ and often in the case of our beloved animal companions ~ a very private experience. And so much of the pain we feel depends on how attached we were to whatever we had that was lost. Such an attachment is beyond explanation, and beyond rational ~ because it is emotional. And sadly, only animal lovers who've had the joy of such a relationship are the ones who are able to understand and to relate. That's why pet loss support groups (whether in person or online, like this one) are so helpful. You don't have to explain the anguish you're feeling to fellow animal lovers. We understand completely that kind of pain, because we've all been where you are now. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckoeppel Posted October 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2016 Thank you, Marty! Your post really makes me feel better. I believe I need to learn to grieve privately. It is obvious to me that my family doesn't understand the connection we had and that's okay, I suppose. My husband just said to me "It has been two months, you need to get over it." I just nodded my head and said, "It will take longer for me." I appreciate this group so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 6, 2016 Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 You might find this article helpful, my dear. We all grieve differently depending on so many different factors, and it helps to understand how those differences can affect us, especially within our own families: How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 6, 2016 Report Share Posted October 6, 2016 5 hours ago, Crossmateo said: Would it be strange if I still hung it up with ours? I don't think it is strange. I still hang my husband's stocking eleven years after he passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 I am so grateful to have found this group. I dont say anything to my children about princess's spirit as I think they are too young to understand (3 and 8 years old). Ckoeppel I think you and I were the ones that our babies chose to have the strongest bond with. We are their mothers basically so its as if we have lost a child. Our families dont understand because they didnt have a bond as strong as ours. I will definately hang her stocking with the rest this year (and every year) and am glad to know I am not alone. While my family at home isn't grieving the same, my siblings understand. My one brother and my sister went through the same when they lost their dogs and my other brother cried when talking about when they day comes for his (his are same age as Princess). I love coming on here and being able to be honest about my grieving and know that I am not alone. Thank you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Ckoeppel, I also meant to tell you that I am sorry that your daughter was so harsh like that. Is it possible she is jealous of the bond you shared with Ruby? My older son, hes only 8, used to get so mad that Princess wouldnt ever lay with him on the couch. He would tell my husband " she only lays with mom". At the time I thought it was funny but I see now I was the one that had the strongest bond with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 I think the tree is a good way to commemorate them...I have a Whippet ornament to remember Lucky by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 That is a really great idea I am going to look into getting an ornament made Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 I was just looking for an ornament and came across this t shirt. It looks exactly like my Princess. Another way her spirit keeps visiting me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckoeppel Posted October 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Crossmateo, You hit the nail on the head about my daughter being jealous of our bond. She loved her but didn't like that Ruby was the center of my world when in fact all three of my kids were, one being Ruby. I want to get the ornament made. That is s great idea! I ran across this etsy site where you send multiple photos of your pet at different angles and they master an urn duplicating it. The seller is so good but it is pricey $320. I ordered a simple cremation ring made with Ruby's ashes. The stone is yellow to reflect the lullaby I sang to her "You are my sunshine." Also to help me with grief I am journaling about my feelings since I am having difficulty doing so with my family. I had a custom journal made. I have attached pictures of both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckoeppel Posted October 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 So cute! You should get that for sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 7, 2016 Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 Wonderful ideas all! Over the years, I've compiled a list of links to dozens of additional ideas here: Memorializing A Pet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 I wonder if instead of ordering an ornament, you could make one by decoupaging pictures onto a glass ball ornament. They sell empty glass ball ornaments in craft stores really cheap. You could get laser photocopies of your pet (at a print shop if you only have an inkjet) and use modgepodge to affix them to the ball. I'd tear around their picture and then overlap slightly so the whole ball is covered. Or you could put green tissue down first and then put the photos on randomly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 I really like the ring and journal, they are beautiful! Ive been looking into having jewlery made with the ashes and will probably order an ornament. The day I had to send Princess to heaven, a random morning glory "appeared" in my front yard. If it was there before I never noticed it so I think its from her. Today the first flower bloomed from it. Even though this plant will probably take over my porch, I dont have the heart to tear it down. Plus theres no way it will survive the winter here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 I did the unthinkable. I got another dog. I am still so devastated over the loss of Princess, but this puppy needed to be saved. I named her Hope because she gave me hope that I could love another dog. Her situation was almost identical to how I got Princess. She was from a litter in a bad neighborhood where she most likely wasn't cared for properly. She was dirty, and threw up when she came to me. It has been a week and I cant believe how much she is helping me heal. She is so much like Princess its kind of weird. She even sleeps exactly like Princess. While I miss Princess so much, I know she would want another little pitbull to be given a chance. While I wish I could have saved the entire litter thats not realistic. So now I have Hope. I show her pictures of Princess every day, I'm sure that sounds crazy but she always wags her little tail when I tell her about Princess. I dont think I would ever have been ready for a new dog, but it's like she was brought to me. Knowing that I saved one puppy from being abused or possibly even raised to fight, makes it worth it. She just wants to be loved. She will never replace Princess, but there is room in my heart to love her too. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Wonderful! I'm so happy for you! And I think Hope is the perfect name for your new pup. Getting another dog does not mean that you're replacing Princess. It means that your heart is big enough to hold more love.♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 I am happy and hopeful for the two of you! Pictures?? I can't imagine my life without a dog. No dog will ever replace the ones I've lost, but somehow that new one comes along and creates their own special place in your heart with their own special relationship. I'm quite convinced I'll never be as close to another dog as Arlie, but when the time comes, I'll have to be open to it, because I don't want life without a dog. I'm glad you already know this was meant to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ckoeppel Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 I am so happy for you! Please post pics! Your situation with your new pet might be a case of over souling. Here is a video that explains that process: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNKlgaFDXE0 On another note, I am experiencing spirit visits from Ruby. Last night I was cooking dinner and sort of felt her near me. I looked down and saw her sweet face. Look how life like it is! I hope you can see it. The second photo was taken in our laundry room. She was watching me. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 26, 2016 Report Share Posted October 26, 2016 That is amazing I definately see her face! I keep trying to upload pics but it gives me an error message. I will definately watch the video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 28, 2016 Report Share Posted October 28, 2016 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 28, 2016 Report Share Posted October 28, 2016 This is Hope. The sweet puppy who gave me hope. She will never replace Princess but is helping us heal. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 29, 2016 Report Share Posted October 29, 2016 She's very cute! I love her eye patch! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossmateo Posted October 29, 2016 Report Share Posted October 29, 2016 Thank you. There is something about the love a dog gives you that is really helping now. Plus I see how much she is growing and I know that she is going to have a wonderful life with us. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 29, 2016 Report Share Posted October 29, 2016 Hope looks like a little pirate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now