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My mother passed away from a heart attack on 9/9/14.  She was 54.  My parents had been married for 34 years. If she was feeling sick before, we didn't know. Her death was a total surprise to my family.  I have a younger sister also.  I am 34 she is 27. It has been extremely hard coping with her death. Our family is very close. When I visit my parents home now, it's very uncomfortable for me to stay long. I have insomnia. I have bad anxiety.  I have gained so much weight. Everyone says time will make it better but I don't know. I was seeing a therapist but I stopped because I don't have insurance anymore. How do you cope with death of a mother?

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Hello, I am the same age as you and going through illness with my elderly parent.  Grief is devastating.  I as just telling someone else that it's like being plunged into a major depression with bipolar tendencies, the way it comes in waves.  I've had to seek therapy before when I was broke as well.  I was able to find it at a couple of universities who offered free or low cost therapy provided by psychology and MFT students.  You might find something similar if you call the health centers at the universities near you.  You don't have to be a student.  I had good experiences with this both times I used it in two different cities.  I haven't lost mine yet but she is going through declining health and I know that it is around the corner so to speek.  I wish I had better advice. From what I gather the grief never totally goes away, as in you will never stop missing the person, but can diminish a lot. Have you tried any lifestyle aides for the anxiety/depression, such as yoga, excersize and doing the things we all know we should do to take care of ourselves?  Do you have a support network.  And lastly, while I don't advocate medication, I use it and find it helpful.  Just something to consider.

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I just want to say my Mother suffered a major heart attack. About 4 years ago 

And I still grie-f for her too, miss her dearly ,if it was,not for my best friend I think I 

Would of died with her too!So I am deeply sorry for your loss any grief will take time to

Ge Over but you never really get over it,gets easier to cope, God bless!

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Dear Ones, you'll find links to dozens of useful and informative sites here: Mother Loss: A List of Suggested Resources.

And Emma, I can assure you that time will not make it better. The passage of time alone does nothing to help you heal. It is what you do with the time that matters. As Michelle suggested, in grief there are many things you can do to help yourself besides just letting time go by. See, for example, Bereavement: Doing The Work of Grief and Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You.

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3 hours ago, katrina407 said:

you never really get over it,gets easier to cope,

It's true...we never stop missing them.  Grief doesn't have an ending but it does evolve and change form.  As we learn to cope and adjust to our new lives, the intensity lessens, although a grief burst can hit unexpectedly at any time.  I've learned to live with that as well, it's just a part of grief.  As our love is, so our grief is.  As Marty pointed out, it's not time alone that heals us, it's the effort we put into healing ourselves through our grief work.  Seeing a counselor, reading grief books & watching grief videos, art therapy, journaling, reading and posting here, support groups, it all helps.  There are things you can do, I write letters, I've sent messages in balloons, I keep a stocking up for my late husband and hang it at Christmas (I still put his ornaments on the tree to honor him) and I write what I miss about him or what I want to say to him and put it in his stocking.  These things are more for US than for them, but it all helps.  Some scrapbook, or set up a place in their home that has things commemorating them.  Me, I still have his hat hanging on a hook, still have his trinket dish with his things tossed inside of it...and it's been eleven years.  We're all different, so it stands to reason that how we choose to handle it will be different...our grief is as unique as we are.

My father died when I was 29 & pregnant with my first child so I can relate to you young people losing one of your parents...I was a daddy's girl and it was really hard to lose him so young and for him not to get to know his grandkids.  He would have been so proud of them.  As they were growing up, I talked about him, told them stories about him, talked about how proud he would be of their attributes and accomplishments, or how they took after him.  My mom just passed two years ago but it still feels pretty fresh. 

My heart goes out to all of you...

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