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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

pmpupdamike

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About pmpupdamike

  • Birthday 10/21/1973

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    9/28/11
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Grace Hospice

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    NJ
  1. Dave, I am not sure if saying Happy Thanksgiving, is appropiate, but I want to wish you a peaceful Harvest, and Holiday Season. See, that is just it, I think, everyone here made some excellent points, especially the one regarding acquiring new interests, that were independent of your late partner. I think, that when you start to realize the sincerity of others, the genuine regard, that friends and associates may have, when they say something like Happy Holidays, Or Merry Christmas, maybe you might see the good around you, and hence absorb it. Music I believe is meant to stir the soul, the senses, and the body. I am not sure if there is anything negative in that, rather, how you allow yourself to take in the melody, and infuse infuse it, in your life. If the urge strikes you to cry, or scream, or in my case clean, or run, I do. I suggest you do the same, let your passions, be stirred, in what ever format, you will then see, how you can actually control them/focus, in a positive manner. My mother, having recently lost my father, is in a similar state to yours, except that she does not have the sense of out reach, that you have. Instead, she stays in the moment, filled with grief, and each song, picture, melody, memory is like a stab for her. I realize we all have different levels of resiliance, and fortitude. Still, I often think, that these facets (music, pictures) , are not the real issue, maybe, the process of healing is about discovering that? maybe I dunno? : )
  2. I am little late, on wishing Everyone wonderful Thanksgiving wishes and hoping that everyone continues on thier road towards peace. Reading all of your replies, I can't help but to sense the life force, that emnates from all of you, even in your grief. I think, all of you, do your S/O's very proud, by keeping such love alive. In all honesty, I have been staying away from the board, because, I have not been in the sharing mood, despite the holidays's emphasis on sharing, love and peace. I think I am a little stuck, but reading your stories, have really helped me, inch towards reconcilation, with my own loss. Thank you. It is your self-lessness that I am thankful for.
  3. Hi Spika. I think what you are experiancing is normal. I can't seem to watch commercials, or sad movies. The nature of some graphic movies, is perceived very individually. I personally don't mind them, but anything with an emotional or semantic message, leaves me in tears, as a result, I can't watch the simplest cartoon i.e. ALL dogs Go To Heaven. I think, though, that if the intensitiy of the moment, lingers with you, for more than a few days, or weeks, perhaps grower more intense, then maybe, there is alot more going on. Are you able to talk to somebody? Group?
  4. Rox..I am so sorry for your loss. You should be very proud of yourself, as you were a great daughter and care taker, when your parents needed you. Wishing you lots of peace! Mir
  5. Heather I am sorry for what you are facing. I feel pretty lost and overwhelmed as well. I think it is pretty normal, as both our losses are recent ones. I envy your ability to let go and cry, I sometimes wish, I could do just that, with wild abandon. This forum helps alot, even if for the simple reason, of just writing out my feeings. Wishing you lots of peace. Mir
  6. Hi Rosie. I am so very sorry for your losses. I can understand and relate. I don't have any words of wisdom, except to say, that I think a grief support group specific to care takers might be worth your while. As you share your experience, the easier the healing process will unfold. I lost my father on 9/28 and it is still very raw, but I try to cope in my own way. Coming to this forum, is one way. I wish you all the peace and support you need. Mir
  7. Debbie..I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have alot of answers, but understand the state you find yourself in. I don't think there is a lexicon on how to get over such grief, or an overview of it impacts our lives. There are no simple explanations, rather it is just a state, that each individual must get through. I tend to immerse myself in the mundane, in the tasks of mother, wife, daughter and friend, I have those lonely night weeping episodes myself, so perhaps I am not the best person to talk to..lol, but never theless, I want you to know, that you are NOT alone!! Mir
  8. I am so sad for you. Please accept my deepest sympathies. I think, the folks here have given great advice. Wishing you peace and support during your time of sadness. Mir
  9. I am very sorry for your loss(es) Rosie. I am sorry that you are in so much pain. I can only say, that I can relate, although, that I have the distraction of my 3 children and family to help with the sorrow. I often think, that in many cases, it is easier to sometimes just immerse yourself with purpose, how that "purpose" is defined, is very unique and individual. Many here, can describe several different coping mechanisms. It does sound however, that your grief, is still very raw, and very shocking. I think, this is pretty normal, considering your unique experiance as a care taker. Have thought about a support group, specific to care takers, or perhaps a visit to a therapist?
  10. Hi Becky I am sorry for the loss of your dear partner and pet. I think you sound great, and the fact, that you had a much deserved weekend, is a positive! Good for you! I think it means you are grateful for life, and the gifts that it has given you. What better way to honor those whom you have lost, then to live happy with peace and love around you. Wishing you continued strength and peace, as those important dates approach. Mir
  11. Niamh, you sound like a kind, humane, and sweet woman. No doubt, your father was/is very proud of you. How very lucky you both were, to have each other in your lives. It was a gift, and I appreciate you sharing that with me. I know, society does force certain restrictions, and time lines, part of my issue, is that I never seem to fall within those constraints. I am so sorry for your loss, I think, there is no time line for the amount of time, in which you grieve. American culture has not real ritual in regards to death, so that leaves a lot of us, in a mournful state of Limbo. I hope you are able to find ways to honor your dad's memory, by keeping him alive in small ways. I think, it does help. In my case, my dad loved loved, Xmas lights. My Husband and I are planning to make our xmas decorations bigger this year, in his memory. lol..it makes me laugh, but trust me, the urge to burst into tears, is overwhelming also. thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and the willingness to share with me. Be Well Mir
  12. it is hard! No doubt you understand. I think, part of my own healing process stems with the desire to want to help others. Perhaps, from another vantage point, it might be perceived as running away from my own pain, but I think that too cynical of a thought. I try to remain positive, even when the world forces me otherwise. I try to remind myself, of how much love/life there is around me, and it gets me by. But, I do have moments, this morning, as with many mornings, on my way back from dropping my daughter off to school, I was consumed by an immense weight of sadness. I stopped to get a bagel, from my favorite shop. I was lucky enough to have met, a charming couple, with a baby on the way. They are about the same age, I was, when I had my eldest daughter, who is now 10. I could not help but to marvel at thier contagious happiness, and I realized that the world does work in mysterious ways. Perhaps, thier presence, was a "sign" of what I am not sure, but what ever it was, it helped me to understand that life does indeed work in strange ways, and small little encounters serve to remind of how much happiness there actually is.
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