Norskie

Donnacas, I would love to hear about your experiences! I retired early from teaching to care for my husband. I have been alone now for four months. I just "celebrated" our first wedding anniversary with champagne we'd hoped we'd share. Tough day. Anyway, come to this place and share the good and the bad about your day. I would truly enjoy listening. Deb

You are all so wonderful...calling it like it is. I still wear my ring and probably will until the end of time. I was talking to a girlfriend the other night.... I am still with my husband, I am still in love with him, and his death didn't mean the end of our love for each other. Having said all that, whether to wear or not to wear is an individual choice. Someone who judges you isn't worth your time. Ohsosad, I believe feeling the grief and crying those tears is exactly what you need to do. As you feel stronger or become more used your husband's absence, the tears may decrease in intensity or duration. Whatever happens, it will be right for you. Sending you hugs~ Deb

Ohsosad, I hope today will be just a little bit better for you. Glad you have your furry family waiting at home for you. Katie and I have been together just over four days, and she's already made a difference for me. Take naps as you need them and let the tears come.... Hugs, Dear Lady. Deb

Hi again. Thank you for your compassion and understanding and practical advice. I am looking for a grief group...it is still hard to get dressed every day and venture out. I make a point of dressing now; the first few weeks, not so much. I have been reading a wonderful book, "Widow to Widow" by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg. She also has this t-shirt we have, and I have found validation and a commonality in her experiences. My husband was an amazing guy. We had been dating about two years when he was diagnosed. He gave me the opportunity to run...never even crossed my mind! We went through a few rounds of chemo, and then we learned the lymphoma was in his brain. Park was the smartest man I have ever known. He became confused and child like. We went for intrathecal treatment; they said he'd never fly again, but he would enjoy a little time working in the yard and greenhouse. Park was an evac helicopter pilot and saved many lives. He also taught other pilots to fly and to recover from engine failures. I never had the pleasure of flying with him, which makes me sad. Yet another thing we didn't get to do together.... Anyway, my brilliant man regained his thoughts and creativity. We drove a steam train together--one of his lifelong dreams. He beat their predictions by a few months. We married after he got out of the hospital in Tucson...a small ceremony in Mom's backyard. It was, the happiest day of my life, in spite of what we knew was coming. Park told me he had never been happier than he was with me...we built a good life together and were still making plans the night before he died. The timing of his death in late April surprised both of us. I am thankful that he is no longer in pain. Other than that, I am still angry and disappointed that he is gone. I miss him all the time. Park was the love of my life, and I just feel lost without him now. I thank you for listening and understanding. Some of my friends have disappeared, but a few are hanging in there with me. Thank God for them...and for you. Deb. P.S. I adopted a basset named Katie. She makes sure I get up and move!

Dear Ohsosad, I am so sorry for your loss. Your grief and shock are still so raw. I am finding practical advice and lots of support here. I am sad you have joined us, but I am glad you found such a wonderful group. Dreaming of your husband is a mixed blessing...I understand the absolute joy of being with him and complete devastation when he is gone. I don't have much advice...still looking for ways to cope, too. I wish you peace and send you love and hugs~ Deb

Greetings to all...I am sorry that you wonderful people are all grieving the loss of your other half. My name is Deb, and I am joining you for the first time. My husband, Park, died about a year after his diagnosis of stage 4 lymphoma. We would have celebrated our eighth month anniversary just a few days after he died in April of this year. I had retired early from teaching to care for him. I miss him soooo much, and I feel adrift without him. I recognize myself in many of your posts...the clean out/don't clean out his clothes, the inability to sleep, the physical manifestation of grief. I miss him so much that it literally hurts. I am trying to take care of myself, but I lack motivation at this point. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your advice. It is comforting to know I am not alone.... Deb