angel588

My son is gone too.. He died in an avoidable accident though...I guess we all have what ifs...the living people really make it harder to deal with..we will never ever be the same...I wonder what do I do with myself now...you have have my deepest sympathy...you touched my heart and I am so sorry for you...I wish for you some peace..My father committed suicide when I was a child...I don't think they mean to leave US..just the pain..this is a wonderful site and I have sounded off more than once here...no one understands until you've been there..bless you and yours

I am so sorry for your loss..I understand every thing you said..this is gut wrenching...I have anxiety attacks now..pace...the whole gamut..yes..this is a nightmare...I can't believe the rest of our lives being like this..everything is such an effort and hassle...wish I could just lay down and die...when then alarm goes off and my feet hit the floor..all I can say is god...how do I get thru another day of hell..even keeping busy doesn't work...it NEVER leaves me...I want and miss my son so...it is a nightmare..bless you...bless all of us...angel 588 (forgot to log in)

My sister has been my strength....yes she still has her children and her life...I don't want her to feel guilty for that...my son died on her birthday and they too were close...says she isn't celebrating this year...makes me feel bad...it'll be her 50th and I don't want her sad too..sometimes I do comfort her...she shares and feels my grief..maybe not quite like I do...she not only feels it from being his favorite aunt but having to deal with me too. her children have been very good to me...I so love her...I'm sure your sister feels the same way about you...no one can really do anything for us...Thank you for writing to me...I so try to go on... just be there for her..

My son has been gone 7 months now...everyone is back to their life and looking at me like I'm crazy. My son was my only biological child(have niece who's been like a daughter) and my friend..I feel alone and abandoned..I really can't stand this and don't know what to do...nothing brings joy...they say you have your grandchildren...as much as I love them they do NOT take his place..they are bittersweet...they make me miss him more and what my son is also missing..they are teenagers..middle one just had 16th birthday..oldest one going to the prom..they have moved on with what they're supposed to be doing...life is hell and I don't know how long I can do this..I've started to hide to cry...it's getting worse not better...thanks for listening...have to go to go thru the motions of life

He died in 4wheeler accident 1/4 mile from his home....I think I'm still in shock...this can't be real...Life is hell..really no other words to describe it at this point

My heart goes out to you...I have to struggle to see my grandchildren...I love them dearly with my whole being...but they're NOT the child I lost and will always miss him...I don't believe that any person can make up for another...people say to me..well, you have your grandchildren...yes and I'm thankful..but I want my child...He too was a grown man...a good father and excellent son,,no one can fill his void in my heart...Three children...I just can't even imagine!!!!

I have no answers...but I do already feel people pulling away and its only been a short while...I'm friggin dying inside...I said also..this am when I woke up...I have to go the rest of my life into my old age with out my son!!! I had him at a very young age...It's hard for me to remember him not ever being there....He would joke with me about both of us getting our social security checks together and doing lunch..lol I also said to my sister the other day....it's getting worse not better!!!! I understand how you feel..pictures aren't doing it for me!!! I have pretend that everythings okay..My heart is so broken and I, too, want what I can't have and NO one or NOTHING will ever be the same again...

My 38 yr. old son died 7 weeks ago..Life is HELL...

My 38 yr. old son (only biological child) died in an accident 7 weeks ago...I am just lost....going thru the motions...left 4 girls...ages 7-17...I do have a daughter..really my niece that I brought up (thank god for her!) she's 33 and does have her own life to lead....My heart is in my hands with no where to put it...maintaining a relationship with my granddaughters is always a struggle..mother has new husband for a few years now and has always made it a sruggle...I can identify with you about the holidays...I can't find any words to express my feelings..wish we didn't have to even do the holidays! Maybe you could ask them what was special to them about the holidays with thier Mom and what special things they would like to do..maybe, just making them part of the plans would become special in itself...