Nibbler

I've talked with my grandma but still haven't been able to get home, Thanksgiving will be the first that I can. I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. My very definition of home involves grandpap being there. The main reason I'd go home is so I could walk down the road and spend the day with him.

Talking to my dad actually made me feel a lot worse when my grandpa died (his dad). He was trying to tell me it was for the better because grandpap had been really sick for so long. I feel like its so easy for him to say that as he's lived on the family property next door for almost his entire life, while I had to move away a long time ago to get a job. I wasn't able to be there for him.

I had forgot about this forum but right now I really need a visit. About a month ago, my grandfather died. He had been fighting leukemia for a year. It happened while I was away for a business trip and my dad did not tell me until I got back. Grandpap had went to the hospital with maybe pneumonia. Then he got really sick and his kidneys failed, his heart gave out without him regaining conciousness. And I feel like such a horrible person because I didn't know and didnt get home. We were very close and every time I've left home the last few years I have agonized if he would be there when I got back. I was not fond of my job to start with and now with this happening I hate it so much, I can hardly get through a day of being there.

They still aren't willing to talk about Shaggy, my childhood dog, at all. Or say where they buried him or let me have some sort of memorial. I'm so afraid the same will happen when Ginger is gone. I've never really had much of a social support system and she is everything to me. She has terrible seperation anxiety and it makes me feel really bad that I'm not with her.

I have tried so many times to talk to them about it. They are completely unable to deal with grief and refuse to.

Hi everyone, I'm new here but I felt encouraged to write this after reading the thread about Chelsea. I have a lot of anxiety and depression problems, but one of the worst is anticipatory anxiety about my dog, Ginger. Between college and moving several times for work, I've lived away from her for most of the last 6 or so years. She is the most important thing in my life, and I am constantly worried about her. She couldn't have better care than what my parents give her, but I feel so bad about not being there for her. She's 16 now and has some health problems. Being with her is one of the few things that makes me feel better and I don't know how I'll handle it when she's gone. She has terrible seperation anxiety and is used to my mom being at home with her all the time, so it wouldn't be right for her to be with me as I work a lot. My childhood dog died when he was 8 and I've been worried about Ginger since she was that old. My parents handled it horribly as I didn't know he was really sick and they had him put to sleep without telling me first. I'm always afraid I'll never know if Ginger will take a turn for the worse until its too late.