Merry Christmas from the UK, everyone!
Those of you with children are probably waking up about now (in the States) ... and some of you have probably had a fitful sleep.
Just know that I am thinking of you all and wishing you a peaceful day, filled with loving memories of your soul-mates ... try and wrap yourselves in the warmth of those memories. I wish you fun and laughter in between the tears.
Be kind to yourselves today, please.
Last night, at a minute past midnight I lit a candle for Cliff. Yes, I cried. But as the candle-light grew stronger, I dimmed my lounge lights and there was a strength emanating from that beautiful light ... the light that he is in my life. My tears stopped and I just lay there, bathed in the soothing peaceful light, surrounded by my sleepy dogs. I got such a feeling of peace that I decided to sleep on the couch for a while ... and did so till the early hours before retiring to that big old empty bed (not counting the dogs).
Christmas Eve was harder for me than Christmas Day. I'd like to reassure you that I got through it, so you will get through today. Yes, there is pain, but there is also light. I know that for some of you, who have been widowed more recently, you are in such darkness right now that you cannot see it. But the light that your soulmate is in in your life is still there ... and you will see it again one day, I promise.
I'll be thinking of you all today, and would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for being there for me and for each other ... and Marty, what can I say? What other on-line Counsellor is looking after her flock at 01h30 on Christmas Eve/Day? I'd hazard a guess that you were quite alone in doing so and there are no words beyond, "thank you" for your selfless behaviour. You truly are a light in all of our lives and we are so blessed to have you. Kay, Wendy, Kath, Marsha, Valley, CarrieBoo, Jeanne, Walt, Fred, Dusky et al ... thank you for holding my hand and gently encouraging me at the start of my journey. PJ, Kathy, Mark, Joanna, Korina et al ... thank you for holding my hand and walking next to me this year ... and to those of you who I feel I haven't really met yet (due to working ridiculous hours these past couple of months), I do read your posts and remember that part of my journey only too well ... I'd like to pluck you off the path and move you to where I am and beyond, but I can't. My heart goes out to each and every one of you today of all days. I think we really do encapsulate the spirit of Christmas (not the commercialized version) by being here for each other and helping each other, even though each one of us experiences our own pain - there is no more sacred a gift - thank you all.
Have a peaceful Christmas. When I return home tonight after spending the afternoon / early evening (and dinner) with good friends on the coast, I shall be lighting two candles. One for my Cliffy, and one for all of your soulmates ... it doesn't seem enough, but I can't think of what else to do. So, there will be a light flickering in the London area for Bob, Tom, Neal, Steve, Denny, Stephen, David, Jeannie, George et al this evening. I hope that some of the strength from that candle-light reaches across the ocean whilst you are sitting down to Christmas Dinner.
It is always a risk to name people, in case you omit someone. Please know that I didn't intend to ... and that you are all in my heart.
Love and peace to you today, and light
Boo
xxx