Everyone I had my birthday in August. It was so difficult because I did not receive the call from my son. I tried everything, calling Corey's son. Talking to his best friends and most of all talking to my two other children. (love them all dearly) still today I need that call I always get from him saying "happy birthday". Now I have to climb another hurdle, his birthday is in two weeks and I don't know how to deal with not talking to him. I think of his birth, today I was looking, just looking for something of his. I found his birth certificate, his shot records, his foot prints. That seemed not to be enough so I just kept looking but found nothing else. I found his newborn pictures, and so many pictures of him over the years. That still wasn't enoug. I don't know what I was looking for but, no matter how much I found it was not enough.Losing my son is so painful and I am so tired, just so tired of hurting. My son died doing what he loved "riding his motorcycle" a car turned off in front of him and he could not stop and he died at the scene. That day March 21, 2009 my life changed forever. A part of me is missing that will never be returned, never be replaced. What am I going to do when his birthday comes? I remember when I held him the 1st time, kissed him the 1st time, changed his diaper the 1st time, and then held him for the last time, watched him crawl, walk and grow into the man he is. I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do!! I wish there was something that eased the pain. I am getting so tired of hurting, so tired. Just pray for me.