Jenny

I was gonna go but I got up, got dressed, and then my mom told me to get undressed and go back to bed because me being at the funeral would be pointless and that i didn't need to...I got REALLY mad because just the night before she'd told me she wanted me there and so I was gunna go and now she's telling me not to. So I got angry, chucked my shoes at the door, and got back in my PJ's and came online. I give up.

Hey everyone. My aunt died last week from Cancer. Her funeral is on Tuesday (tomorrow) I'm not sure if I should go. I wasn't really close with her...I just got closer to her near the end cuz I'd go play guitar for her in the hospital. She loved that. I want to go, but at the same time i"m so scared and I just don't want any more funerals in my life. I know her grandbabies and her kids are gunna be there and that they're gunna be so sad, and I'm scared of that. should I go?

Baba was the only stable one in the family. I think she was the only one okay with her having cancer. I miss her so much because she held us all together and we were all made strong when she needed us. She was magic.

Hi. My aunt louise had been sick with cancer for a long time. My baba was too until she died. I had to deal with anticipatory grief (moreso with baba). This morning my aunt louise died. Is it bad that I'm somehow relieved? I also just don't know how to feel about it. I wasn't terribly close to her...but I did visit her at the hospital frequently and played guitar for her. I played guitar at my baba's funeral and louise was doing chemo that day so she couldn't be there, so she asked me to play the song (somewhere over the rainbow) for her. so I went to the hospital and played and it just kept going. I'm scared that I might miss louise's funeral. I am at camp all week (i leave in an hour and a half, yay!!) and I don't know when the funeral will take place and stuff...I wish I could be there and I'm scared I won't be. I hope I'll be able to though. I need that closure ya know? See ya. Jennifer

Kids help phone is toll free...it doesn't even show up on the phone bill and they dont' charge you for a call. I'm at home, not at boarding school (although sometimes i think being away from home would be better). My parents have issues with me being on the phone with kids help phone or a mental health crisis line because they think I'm hiding stuff from them, which isn't true. I tell them everything that I tell kids help phone. Kids help phone is just better at listening and helping. Mom says I can wake her up at night and tell her I'm having a panic attack, but I tried and she rolled her eyes, told me to stop overreacting and then went back to bed. So they don't follow through with the whole "come to us, talk to us about anything" thing. Wouldn't it make sense that if you don't know how to handle your child's problem, to pass that problem onto someone (a professional counsellor) who does? jeeze! I do go to counselling now though for my grief, and I have panic attacks sometimes when I'm there so my counsellor notices and helps me through it.

Thanks Boo. I'm really scared. of Everything. I really dont' feel safe a lot of the time. I don't like to be alone. and that's a contradiction because I am alone most of the time:P

Hi. My baba (grandma) died 8 months ago. I was really close with her because since I was a baby I lived with my mom, dad, baba, grandpa and my brother. So I was raised with 2 moms and 2 dads, essentially. I miss her a lot. She died 2 weeks before christmas. I have been in counselling for a little while...I went to a group thing for grieving teens (cuz i'm a teen and i'm grieving) and it was pretty much the best thing ever. It's expressive arts therapy so I get to colour lots:P I am also in individual counselling as of a month or so ago, and i was talking to my counsellor about how I feel like it's not even real. How I still forget she's gone all the time and that I just don't believe it and it doesn't seem like she's gone. My counsellor told me it can take on average up to 8 months for those feelings to go away. Those feelings are going away. and it really scares me. I don't like feeling that way at all, and I'm REALLY scared. I don't know what to do. My aunt louise also died today so I'm feeling very sad. I don't like feeling like this and I wish it would go away. can anybody help me?

I don't wake up with panic attacks, but I have them before I go to sleep. I get scared that in the morning my whole family will have died and left me. It helps to have someone on the phone to talk to. I got my phone in my room taken away when I got caught on the phone with a help line, but when I had my phone that's what I did to make the panic attacks go away. Talking about it helps lots.