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When I lost Duke in July my world was in such a turmoil. I had to heal from my injuries in the motorcycle accident. Though the Doctors kept telling me we would both be fine, Duke died 2 days later. I know I can't go back, but I can't settle down until I see the autopsy report. I used to say the "best part of the day is waking up beside you!!" Now my only comfort is his T-shirt and pillow, 2 pills and sleep. I stay active, social and participate but I have a hard time thinking of the future without him. My best friend for 43 years. It truly is one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Hello to all, Our stories are so similar. It truly is one day at a time. 7 months yesterday. 40 years married. My best friend. So lost without him. Tears just flow. Grief overload. It does make a difference that we can share on this site for truly though we have support of family and friends, no one knows it like we do.

Oh Korina I see how she's the one to get you through each day. To wake up or rather "be woken up to those beautiful eyes" would certainly make my day even at 62 y.o. My granddaughter Danica was with me today (age 23 months) and we exercised to Jillian Michaels (Whew what a work out) She took my hand again when her Mom came and said "Nona exercise????" She's our only grandchild and I am blessed after having three sons to have a girlie girl. I cry when she leaves though I know Duke was watching every moment. He would always say "YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" So I need to know what your daughter's name is AND the cat, too.

That is SO LIKE SOCIAL SECURITY. How cruel! I get $227 from Duke's Social Security. They wrote me and said they had paid him $120 too much so they were deducting $120 from my $227 in January, 2010. You know what I wanted to tell them..... Stay strong Kat Jude

Korina, How about sending us some picture of that baby girl!!!!! God Bless Jude

Tim, All of us will always be married. Yes, Duke and I were married 40 years before his death July 8th. I can't believe 6 months have already passed for me. Like all of us here at the forum, there are good days, better days, and worse days, but the days I try to remember are the wonderful days we both spent together, especially since 2000 when we took early retirement. One thing I always told him is "the best part of the day is waking up beside you" This has been the hardest part of every day since July 8th. God Bless Jude

Marty, I really admire the way you make us all feel so welcome to this site. It's true we are all learning from each other how to handle this grief. I know I find much comfort either from those who feel their faith carries them or the support of friends. When I felt really overcome a few days ago you spoke with me personally with your recommendations. I know I'll be okay, but just knowing that someone is listening right then is so very important. I will always listen to you. Thank you for caring. Jude

Just wondering if everyone feels the same as I do? When filling out simple forms do you check off "Married". I went to a new hair salon and needed to fill out a simple form. Well sure..didn't it ask Single/ Married...yes as far as I'm concerned I'm still married to my wonderful Duke for 41 years now. Still this brought tears to my eyes. Then when I got in the chair, with conversation starting, the stylist said "so what does your husband do?" She doesn't know he's gone, and it's not my choice to make her uncomfortable. "He's a retired police officer" Thankfully we moved on to a new topic.

Thank you Marty. I do feel the forum helps me focus on the good things. When I'm here I know I'm not alone with my grief. There are so many people here who share their stories. I pray every day for all of my friends here at the forum. I will remember to take your advice and take time to relax.

Marty, Debbie, a grief counselor from Catholic Charities, has visited me every two weeks since I got out of the hospital. You see I also was injured in the motorcycle accident and now my broken bones are healed and I've finished P.T. I'm trying to do all that I can but lately I'm overwhelmed with grief and sorrow. Even though I have great support in friends and my boys there seems just too much going through my head at once. I lose important papers, then go through the house til I find them (I always do) I was a very lucky person to have had Duke care for me for 40 years...it's just too much to handle now.

Marty, I have so many reminders of my grief and sorrow. I lost my husband of 40 years on July 8th. The next property is his parents home and where Duke lived all his life. We cared for his parents and watched over and helped them all our married life. In 2007 his Mom passed at home with hospice as we cared for her for a few weeks. Duke's Dad was in the hospital and then sent to a rehab. for cellulitis and IV antibiotics at the time of Duke's death. After the 90 days in rehab. Duke's sister has taken him to her house to care for him and for some unknown reason the family have alienated him from me and my family. He is 93 years old and following their lead. The house remains empty now, a place where my babies were born for we lived in the attached apartment until we outgrew it and built on the property next door (the sister had MY land surveyed and drove stakes in while I went to FL to try to relax.) I watched as my neighbors Lynda and Mark cried and screamed as we watched their house burn down. These triggers have overcome me this 6th month though I get out of bed, dressed, clean house, cook, go to Y, bingo, socialize, but when I get home I just cry and cry and cry. I can't stop, Marty.

Well it seems like I haven't posted forever but my last post was Jan 4th and now it's Jan. 20th. 6 months since Duke passed away. I've been thrown into this awful "grief trigger" Two weeks ago I watched my neighbor's house burn. Lynda and Mark are new neighbors (about 6 years) but the previous owners raised their kids while we were raising ours. Her husband had a stroke, was blind from that, and I remember Jack sitting out by the garage every day just feeling the sun on him. Barbara sold to Lynda and Mark and moved in with her daughter. I have been crying for all that they lost which was everything. Watching those flames engulf the house, standing there with Lynda and Mark and feeling their grief set me off with so much grief and sorrow for them, but now every day my sorrow engulfs me. I am trying to get out to do something every day but this "grief trigger" is somewhat paralyzing me this time. How do I get through this?

Dear Starkiss, I'm so sad that you are having these confusing dreams but I think you are doing the right thing by seeking professional help to sort through these troubling times. I believe when we love someone, mom, dad, gram, gramps, spouse, child, sibing, pet we carry their spirit with us forever. It is hard to understand what your dreams mean but since you have unfinished business it seems it might be a struggle to be done with it and then move on. God Bless Jude

Rochel, I am sending all my strength out to you for your journey home to AZ. You have been an inspiration to me with your faith in God and his guidance. I find that helpful and feel stronger when I feel close to Him. I know you had to put a lot on hold to go take care of loved ones, so I know you have tried your best to prepare yourself for your journey home. Please take it slow and as you always remind us, take time for yourself, rest and eat well. And let the tears flow. God is with you. Judy