west

My feeling is it is his loss. You are a strong women who will get through this and he is a coward, a mama's boy and one day he will realize what he has lost. Keep busy, we are all with you and post as often as you need. West

I agree, I believe Celine was there with you enjoying your every thought. Those who have gone before may not be here physically, but always in your heart.

CAn you give a name and number? sounds interesting!

what is her name?

so difficult to have to worry about all that is happening to you, my prays are with you and your husband. You can go on line and print out a will and have him sign it.

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses. I agree that the first year the adrenaline keeps you going. The second year is the realization that this is your life you are alone and it is exhausting. The daily tears are gone and the horrific sobbing of year one, yet for me those tears hit at the strangest times like when I need to figure out if I should buy a new washing machine or try to get buy on the one I have. I miss his knowledge, his warmth and being able to put my head on his shoulder. I guess in that second year you realize that is your lot in life.

It seems as if year one was actually easier in a lot of ways than year two...anyone have this experience?

I remember our two weeks in the hospital and my husband thanking me for being there 24 hours a day and making all those vital decisions. I kept telling him it was my honor to get him through this ordeal...however he never made it. My heart aches as I go onto my third year wishing he were here with me.

My daughter had the wrist bands made and sold them to make a donation for the cancer that took her dad away too early. God bless your thoughtfulness.

God bless you for your warmth and love. Your ex husband was avery fortunate man to have you in his life. You need to start to take care of yourself now. I am sure that a counselor has seen it all and all the tears in the world would not be foreign to him. Take that step; you can decide it is not for you, but it may help. God bless.

I something think the progress is not real; that I will never be the person I was before, so maybe that is progress that I figured it out.

Sometimes we cannot control that wave of grief and we must ride it until it reaches the shore and subsides. congratulations for starting a new career; the stress of all the changes can come out in many ways. Take you time and no it will not last. I wish you the best.

Your post brought back so many memories of my husband and the two weeks at The Brigham and finally bring him home only to loose him so suddenly. You think you have at least a few months, but pancreatic cancer took him so quickly. I identified with your pain.

"It is not being alone...it is being lonely for Bill." Your quote says it all...I miss the days of support, the minutes of loves and the seconds of silence that were all so special. It is so hard going from all that we had to a life without our love. I wonder and marvel that those memories can give me such a feeling of warmth, but then the realization of the loss hinders what I do remember. West

It seems when we are at our lowest there is too much to deal with and it becomes overwhelming. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. West