Tony P

Nats, I along with all the others share in your pain. I lost my first son at 23 months of age 34 years ago, my second son at the age of 16, 13 years ago, and my wife who could not live with the pain of these losses 6 years ago, as she committed suicide. I need you to know that you are not alone, and there just may not be any so called normal in your life again. Know that time will ease the pain, but the memories will never go away. What you are going through is normal, and I have learned that we all need to figure out in our own terms, just what will get us through the rough times. In my case, I found that keeping busy around the house and thinking and going over things in my mind alone seemed to work for me. Let me give you a little example... I ordered 35 truck loads of dirt and totally revamped my front yard. I did this all with my lawn tractor, a 10' trailer, and a rake and shovel. This resulted in 3 herniated disc's in my back, yet it did keep me busy, and helped get through it. You just need to find a nitch, or something that you enjoy, as hard as it may be, and delve into it. Nothing or no one can tell you what will work for you, you need to figure something out. But, by no means quit greiving! You need to go through that, it cleanses the soul. I really hope in some little way,I may have helped you, or given you something to think about. Wishing you the best, and know that alot of us out here care..... Tony