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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

Bob M

Contributor
  • Posts

    11
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Bob M

  • Birthday 12/11/1931

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    12/04/10
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Suncoast Hospice/Clearwater, FL

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Clearwater, FL
  • Interests
    Photography, TV, My Counseling Group Lunches
  1. For "MFH" Hi Mary, Thanks for your kind words and I know the pain will never completely be gone for any of us. My wife and I were close like you and Bill and everything we did was together and for each other. It is nice to know that you can deal with it a little better now. I'm nowhere close to that yet but I hope I will reach a better place eventually. I don't think any of us ever thought about how deeply we would be affected when this happened......there was no way to know until we are forced to experience it. Anyway, we all keep going through it day by day and it's nice to have a group of people we can depend on when we visit this site. God Bless and Take Care, Bob
  2. Dear Qeeniemary, Thanks for offering your story to me and I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and the way things happened. For some reason, everything seems to happen at once, making for more problems. Marlene passed away on December 4th of last year. This was exactly 1 week before my birthday, 3 weeks before Christmas and then there was New Years Eve to "celebrate". Our 2 kids had to leave after she passed away as they live in different states and had to return to their family and jobs. I spent the whole month alone with nobody to talk to or not knowing what to do next in my state of numb sadness. I now HATE the month of December and I don't know how I will get through it in a couple of months. I have already torn it off one calendar and threw it away. I hope the therapy works well for you. They are usually very good and I think it will really help you. Our Hospice group counselors were very good and even now they occasionally join us when the 8 members meet for lunch. One of the things I still look forward to each month. Take care and let us know how the therapy works out for you. I'm betting it will really be a good move and help you along the road to recovery. Bob
  3. Hello Again Dwayne, That was beautifully written and I became quite emotional while reading it. You had what several books I have read refer to as a "Visitation" which is always a bonus and very comforting for the survivor. The closest I have had was shortly after Marlene's passing there were a couple of vivid dreams in which she was walking beside me looking much younger and in great health. They both impressed me so much that it woke me immediately and...POOF...the dream ended. I wish I hadn't awakened so soon because it would have been nice to have had a little conversation but that's the way it goes. Thanks once again for your kind and encouraging words. May we both get through this and come out the other side with an enjoyable and bright new life. Your Friend, Bob
  4. Hi to all in the group and thanks for the help and comments offered.

  5. Hi Nats, I can't believe how many people are taking the time to contact me. It sure is a great group and it's nice to have a place to discuss our woes with someone who is in the same boat. All we can do is take it day by day and hope eventually the pain eases a little. Thanks for caring enough to stop by and offer some guidance. It's too bad we all have to meet this way and I'm sure sorry for your loss and everyone else's loss in this group. Until we meet again, take very good care and God bless. Bob
  6. Dear Dwayne, Many thanks for telling your story. In a lot of ways, it rang true with me too as our feelings toward our wives were very deep. My wife suffered a lot starting with becoming an amputee 3 1/2 years before her death. She was in constant pain the last year with neuropathy and ha d to resort to pain meds the last few months. By the time she was diagnosed with cancer, it had spread to several organs and nothing could be done. We never suspected that she had it and she passed away just a month after diagnosis and it was not expected to be that fast. For that reason, we didn't have time to discuss how she would want me to finish my time here but I'm certain she would want me to go on and do something with my life. I volunteer at Hospice once a week and our Hospice group gets together for lunch every month. I try to stay busy but I can't make it through the day without breaking down several times......even while I'm driving. It's a long, hard road we travel but thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to meet caring people like yourself. Thanks again and take care. Bob
  7. It was great to hear from you Kay and I appreciate your words on the subject. They are very accurate about our feelings at different stages and nobody knows much about how to ease the pain. I'm glad to hear this site is of such help and I sure can use all the help I can get. I'm not sure I'm doing this right because I can't get the replies to line up with whom I want to answer but I guess that's just the way it is setup. Take care Kay and again thanks for taking the time to contact me. Bob
  8. Thanks for the response Ron. I'm not sure I'm doing this right because I had several replies to answer and they don't come out on the page the way I would have liked. It's amazing how this leaves us all feeling lost with no direction and I'm finding that apparently, there's no end point to our suffering but it does change form. Let's hope we all make it through and end up being better in the end. Many thanks and good luck. Bob
  9. Thanks for replying Deb and I agree. My wife would also want me to get over it and move on but I just can't seem to do that. Let's hope we both find a way to accomplish that but it's a long and painful road we all travel isn't it? Best of everything to you. Bob
  10. Thanks for the reply Harry. That's interesting that we're both at about the same time and it's nice to know we are not that unusual having our grief seem worse now. I know what you mean about all the medical appointments near the end and my wife was an amputee the last 3 1/2 years and unable to handle the prosthesis so she was in a wheelchair. We were still able to get out and do a few things and I miss every minute of even those memories. Let's hope it gets a little easier for us both and thanks again for the info and the support. Bob
  11. Thanks for your comments Pam and it's very nice to meet you. I am sorry to hear about your loss also and I guess we are both considered as being new to this grieving process. From what I read, the average time just for the deep grief to ease up is 2 to 4 years, so we may have a lot of sad days ahead. It's nice to know this group has been helpful for you and maybe, between all of us, we can eventually get through this and make some new friends along the way. Feel free to contact me any time you need to release some of these overpowering feelings of sadness we all experience. Take care until next time. Your friend, Bob
  12. I lost my soulmate 10 months ago after 54 years of marriage. I have utilized Hospice counseling, both one-on-one and group, along with all the recommendations like journaling, meditation,etc but I seem to be having more periods of deep sadness every day than I did a few months ago. I'm wondering if anyone else is having this problem or has any suggestions for turning it around. Any comments would be appreciated.
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