Just 3 weeks ago my beautiful Grandson's life was take by his Father who shot him then took his own life. He was a very happy boy very loved by all and had a gift of making people smile. I never realize what pain someone losing a child went through till this. You have heart break and mourning and crying and wanting to hold the child and many other mixed emotions. Then of course the anger and rage of what the father did. It eats you up inside. A week ago i returned to work and it like im there but not there. I now feel out of place where ever i go and people calling me and i do know they care saying "Just checking to see if your ok.Of course i say im fine but.. Im not.. I go to bed and in the quietness i cry, i drive my car to work, I cry. It just feels that the tears never stop. And with the holidays coming i just don't want them. My grandson was my Christmas present Born Dec 24, 2009. Where does one start to deal with a death of a child so loved.
