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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

jwielg1017

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  • Posts

    15
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Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    9/24/2011
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    New Jersey
  1. Today I had another "Trigger" for my beloved Fiance. I went to the store to pick up a card for my friend's birthday. As, i'm skimming through the section of cards, My eyes become glued to the card section I would normally buy a card from The ............... "From The Both of Us" Section. Ugh, I had to fight the tears back, as I'm standing there in the isle. I hate those triggers. I had the thought in my head. Well.. I won't be buying cards from that section anymore... I became very sad That was my one trigger for today.
  2. Dwayne you are an inspiration to me. When my fiance got sick, i took a leave of absense from nursing school, so that i could focus on taking care of him. When I was in class my mind wasn't there, so i figured let me take some time off and go back when he gets better. Well, he never got better, and unfortuately passed away in September. So, i'm still struggling with the idea of going back to school. My family thinks I should go back now, but they jsut don't understand that I'm not ready. I need some time. But, I know i do at some point want to go back. Just still do not know when. So you are my inspiration, that it can be done. I can go back when i'm ready, and try my best to succeed. Thank you, and much luck to you in school.
  3. I totally understand how you feel. I lost my parents young, so growing up I forgot how they sounded. Their voice, or laugh. The only thing i Had was a family video tape that is so old. I would play it occasionally to hear them again. Now with the loss of my fiance, I'm desperate to try not to forget his voice, or his laugh. I have a voicemail saved of his that he left to me when he was in the hospital. It's hard to listen to, but somewhat nice. It's like I hear him. I have videos of him i look at. I cherish these. I have them kept in a fire proof box, because if i lose them, i think i will lose my mind also! it's like this is all i have left now, pictures, and videos. That's all.
  4. Hi, I've had a few things happen. Whether they be signs, communication, or just plain ol coincidence. Not sure. Shortly after my fiance Mike passed in September I had a dream with him in it. In my dream he was in the hospital already had passed away. When all of a sudden he woke up. In my dream i was in shock, i coudln't believe he woke up. In the dream he coudln't understand why i was so surpised to see him alive. I tried to explain to him, it was because he had died, and for him to wake up is unusual. He still just couldnt'understand, it was as if he had no idea what had happened. No idea he had passed away. Could this be just a dream, maybe. Could this be his way of communicating to me that he didnt know what happened to him? Also, Maybe. I also found a penny, which many say people who pass away will send us gifts to let us know they are still around, and many times the gifts are pennies. I found one and it was the year of his birthyear on the penny. Gift? Maybe.
  5. I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading your story, hit home to me in some ways. This is all very hard. It has been a long road for them, and for us, but now the hard road will continue for us. I can understand also how you feel about the "ring". I myself cannot bring myself to take off my engagement ring. I feel like if i take it off, it's final. I'm no longer engaged. Stay Strong, keep writing on here, it'll help you in little ways. Bless you.
  6. I can relate to how you feel. My fiance passed away in a hospital, and actually spent a lot of time in a hospital due to his disease. So, now it's hard for me to watch tv shows, or movies, or commercials, that have to do with hospitals or someone in a hospital. It just takes me back to the times he was in a hospital, and of course they were never good times, especially the last time.
  7. Everyday day is hard. But, it seems there are certain times of the year like holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, that make it sting alittle extra. I lost my fiance in September. In October was my 28th birthday, which was hard. Celebrating my birthday for the first time, in a long time, without Mike there with me. Not to get a card or flowers like I usually would from him. Then in November there was Thanksgiving which also fell on his 2 month anniversary of his passing. DOUBLE HARD. Now we're approaching christmas and the 23rd of December which would have marked our 1 year anniversary of getting engaged. So every month I've had something that makes it sting more. But, you just have to try to spend the day with loved ones whether they be family or friends. Try to find time throughout that day to smile or laugh, because you know your passed loved one would want you to.
  8. Stacyines: I've been to two Mediums, so far. I've read about 10 books also. I hear sometimes they will leave us pennies or feathers. Not to offend anyone that doesn't believe in afterlife, or what our passed loved ones have become. I've read that spirits are energy, so sometimes passed loved ones will work through music/radio, lights flicker, or t.v flicker, and i've also read about the dreams too.
  9. I can relate and understand your anger also. Some people just don't understand. They think if you are smiling, you are ok. If you are laughing you are ok. But, it's true they don't see us when we are at our weak points, and we most certainly are not O.K.
  10. After My fiance passed away in Sept. 2011. I found an old voicemail he left me when he was in the hospital. I frantically tried to save the voicemail. I felt like if i lost that voicemail I would have a nervous breakdown. I try to listen to that voicemail every week. It's like my one last voicemail from him, to hear his voice again. As hard as it is to hear it, its comforting, because I'm afraid i'm going to forget what he sounded like. Is this weird?
  11. Thank you. Glad I didn't upset anyone. Ron.- I also had an experience with birds. At Mike's funeral a hawk sat in a tree over us. Also, that whole week that he passed away, whenever we(me and my family) were sitting outside, a hawk would sit in the tree, as if it was watching over us.
  12. Well first, I want to apologize. I didn't know this was the wrong section to post a topic like this in. Was just curious. The only sign that I'd like to think was Mike sending me a sign was a penny, with his birth year on it. Coincidence? Maybe, but to give myself some sort of comfort, i'd like to think that was my sweet angel sending me a sign that he is with me. I guess i'm looking for more of those obvious signs. I guess it goes along with the not wanting to feel like he is totally gone. I've gone to mediums before. Still no satisfaction. I know i should just find comfort in knowing that since we had such a strong bond and close relationship he is with me, mind spirit and heart.
  13. I was wondering, if anyone has ever gotten any signs or messages from their loved ones that have passed away. I started reading a lot of books, trying to get better knowledge of the after life. Many people experience signs from their passed loved ones, received messages. Things, that make you feel that your loved one is still with you?
  14. Thank you to those who responded. Means a lot. Yes, My fiance Mike had a glioblastoma. He had the seizure, which is how we found out about the tumor. I've come to call that disease the devil. It's horrible. His vision became blurry from the tumor. Had speech impairment. He couldn't read anymore. I'm very angry now. I'm very sad, and empty feeling. LIke a piece of me is missing. It's like I wrote all my dreams on a piece of paper, and someone came and ripped the paper up and said "START OVER". It's like how? How do I pick up the pieces when I feel so lifeless. How am I suppose to live each day, when such a big part of my life is gone now? Everything I do reminds me of him. Songs, I hear remind me of him. I had to walk out of a grocery store one day in tears, because I saw carrot juice. CARROT JUICE!!! I used to buy him carrot juice all the time, so as soon as i saw it, it flipped a switch in me like "i would have bought that for him, but now I can't anymore" it's little things that trigger me to a crying episode. It's very hard. I lost my parents when I was young. Lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 8 and lost my dad to stroke when I was 18, and those were hard losses. But, this loss for me is by far the hardest to deal with.
  15. I'm new to this board. I joined because I lost my fiance Mike to brain cancer 2 months ago. He had a rough 2 years since diagnosed. Started with an out of the blue seizure. Going through everything that goes with having cancer, I was his care giver. I'm 28 years old, and I was his caregiver. Between, hospitals, surgeries, MRi after MRI, medicine, speech impairment, vision impairment. My heart broke for him. It's hard to see someone you love in pain. December 23, 2011 would have marked our 1 year anniversary to getting engaged. I'm still going through all of the motions. Every day is hard. Feels like it's getting harder. One minute he was here and the next gone. I went to the cemetary for the first time this week. That was tough. I still ask all those questions, why, why him, why us? I'll never understand why things happen the way they do. I try to be strong, because I know that's what he would want me to do, but somehow I just can't. I'm miserable, depressed, sad, angry, empty, all in one. I guess I joined to see if there was anyone else out there that felt the same.
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