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enna

Contributor
  • Content count

    4,747
  • Joined

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About enna

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 12/05/1942

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Goodyear, AZ
  • Interests
    an active member of Hospice of America, level two certificated volunteer as an end-of-life death doula

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    May 25, 2012
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice of the Valley - Phoenix
  1. Articles Worth Reading

    http://www.griefincommon.com/blog/holiday-grief/
  2. What a perfect webinar tonight. I love the ten tips that were talked about. For me, ‘Self Compassion’ is so important. I think we all forget to think of ourselves during this time. We are so conscious of thinking about all that has to be done that we don’t allow ourselves some self-love. Hugs are good too. The webinar focuses on sibling loss but it really is about any loss. Many of us are without our significant others or our parents or our special pets that will not be with us for the first time. It’s so important to do what’s right for each of us. There is no right way to do things during the holidays. This season I’ll be missing my granddog, Fred, who was always a center of any celebrations. He was the absolute most perfect Beagle. Both my Jim and I spent many days, and weeks over the thirteen years of Fred’s life when the kids had to travel. He was such a part of our family. I will so miss him.
  3. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I am glad that you have found this place. And we know that it does not matter how long our loss has been for we will always miss our beloved ones. Here you do not wallow for we know and understand what you are going through. Thank you for your story and know that those who are here listen. I am glad you are able to tell your story. Anne
  4. e. e. cummings ~ a favorite of mine
  5. Good news. Butch is home from the hospital. Little Man is very happy to see him. I'm so glad you are home. Go slow and know we are with you. Anne
  6. Thanks, Gwen, I think most of us know that special days are mostly not so special for those of us who have lost a significant other. I now do for myself when these days come around. It is good to focus on being ‘worth it’ when I indulge in self-care. Those first years are so hard to see beyond our loss. Today it is somewhat better for me but it has been over five years since my Jim died. I love all the sweets especially when there is chocolate involved! Wine and chocolate go so good together. Marty knows my weakness for chocolate but to be honest about it she is the leader in chocolate addiction! That is how she finds the perfect cakes for us. Anne
  7. Oh, Kay, Thank you. I am so full of all the cake I've been sent. I love these special days. We are so blessed to have this safe place to come and share our thoughts and pain. Those who come here understand. Nothing is or will be the same but we find ways to move through our now lives. Anne
  8. How nice of you to remember me on my special day. It was a wonderful day. Dinner with friends. Tomorrow lunch with a few girlfriends and then I'll treat myself to a pedicure/manicure. Anne
  9. Music That Soothes Me

    Some songs just have special meaning...this one is a favorite one of mine.
  10. Grief Bibliography

    One Mindful Day at a Time: 365 meditations for living in the now by Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D A perfect book to have for the New Year and one can’t go wrong with the writings of Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. How perfect to have a book that will guide us on a daily journey to live in the now. Mine is on the way.
  11. Signed up. I'm always looking for ways to simplify things in my life. I really like what Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heldi Horsley do with their webinars. Always something to take away.
  12. Significant Quotes

    Oh, I really like the quote above, Marty.
  13. Videos Worth Watching

    Great discussion. I was in college studying theology before I started to change my image of God as a protector and loving Father. It took me years to realize that God does not let bad things happen. It is rather a part of life. It is up to me to accept that when something bad happens it is not God’s fault. I was first introduced to Terri Daniels when my dog Benji died. I kept asking why and even gave God a piece of my mind for taking him away so soon after I adopted him after my beloved Jim died. For a while, I thought it was God punishing me until I remember that God does not allow bad things to happen. Thanks for finding this video, Marty.
  14. Long suppressed grief.

    As I was typing this I see that Marty, a wise teacher, responded to your post Janka. Her responses are what has kept many of us continue to find value in coming here. Dear Janka and others who are going through a tough time, I am so sorry that you have once again had a day that was so upsetting to you. I understand and know how much some days can hurt so badly. I am sure that you have heard about how our grief can be likened to a rollercoaster ride or how some days we seem to be caught up in ocean waves that never let us come up for air. It is how grief is. It is said by so many wise teachers that when we have loved deeply we will grieve deeply. I have learned over these past 5 years and 6 months that the rollercoaster ride does stop at some point and the waves in the ocean are sometimes calm. This life after the loss of our significant others will always be an ‘ebb and flow’ process that will test our endurance. I have gotten a little better at riding the waves understanding that sometime down the line they will go through a calm stage. It is at the calm stage that I talk to myself and tell myself that once again I made it and will continue to make it because I am a strong, wise woman. In my early grief I spent quite a bit of time in a deep hole thinking that I’d never be able to climb out but I did and I know that I made the climb out because I had dear friends who sat at the top of the hole just allowing me to do what I had to do. Grief friends understand and will sit with you for as long as it takes. I find that I don’t need to explain my grief to those who do not understand. Grief people here on this site understand and they are the friends who will sit with you ~ no judgments, no telling you it’s time to ‘get over it,’ no trying to ‘fix’ you because they know that you are not ‘broken’ rather you are grieving and grief takes as long as it takes. These thoughts are not my own rather they come from those wise teachers who understand that with ‘grief work’ we will make it. Anne
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