leftturn61

Thank you, Miss Ngu. My one remaining question : HOW DO YOU BE GOOD TO YOURSELF???? I don't know how.

am replying late but your stories resonate with me. I lost my mom on April 13, 2012. She was 87. I lost my best friend,my counselor, my "patient",......my entire life for over a year was my mom. Not only am I dealing with losing her, I have lost my purpose in life. I am 51 with 2 teenage sons. One son leaves for college in August. The other son is a junior in high school. I have a husband of 20 years. I also have a neurological condition called ADEM which leaves me in constant pain continuously. Arthritis seems to be taking over my body. I was very involved in my church but I feel myself slipping away. I believe that Jesus is my Savior. I love God. I believe my mom is in heaven. I lost my dad in 1981 unexpectedly to a heart attack when I was 21. I never grieved. I became a "stuffer." I stuffed with alcohol, drugs and men. I went through a rehab. Straightened out. Met my husband. Kids. My older brother developed stage IV lung cancer. I brought him to my home in 2003. With hospice, I took care of my brother with my mom's help. We spent 18 great months together before he died. I began drinking again. Nonfeelings. In 2006,I developed this neurological disease. This disease changed my life. No more drinking. Accepted Christ as my savior. Despite the pain, I began to live. I promised my mom that I would not drink; I would grieve. It is excrutiating. My sister lives in another state. She lost her husband on Feb. 28,2012. She grieves by spending times with friends and drinking. Way too much drinking. I feel alone. My friends are all busy.....I attend a grief support group once a week. So many awful changes. I don't know if I can do this.

I lost my mom on April 13,2012. She died of congestive heart failure. I was her 24/7 caregiver at home with the help of hospice. Mom and I were best friends. I miss her so much that it takes my breath away and I know my heart is totally broken. My father died in 1981. My brother died in 2004 at the age of 52 of lung cancer. I was his caregiver with hospice. There is not much left of my heart. The only reason I am functioning is for my 2 handsome sons. Bishop, I say all this because I feel as you do. It is so difficult to function most days. I pray that you find comfort in your grief.