hockeymom

You absolutely should still celebrate. On my grandmother's first birthday without her here we all wrote her individual notes. We tied them to balloons and found the highest spot we could and let them go. There was a break in the clouds where the light was shining down and my son said to me the mailman reached down through the clouds to take them to Gee Gee.

I know all to well how in times of need those that are there for you and then they can't be found. Unfortunately, times like this is when you find out who your friends are and who they aren't.

Again, you are so very strong. I am so sorry for what you continue to go through but know that you have a great deal of support here!

Oh the WE part is so true, KayC. You have to set your own timetable because ultimately, you are in control of your own happiness. Depending on someone else to be 'it' for you doesn't work. Don't put your own life on hold, your own happiness to wait around for someone that doesn't have a vested interest in you. I have lost several friendships in the past year, am grieving for them, but also realize that I am tired of being the one that does the right thing, is always there, steps up to the plate but I don't get the same in return. So all set with that. Going to spend my time and my energy with those that bring value to my life. Screw the rest.

Oh Shannon - I am so very sorry for your loss! I do believe that we are reunited with our loved ones eventually and that there is more out there. My suggestion to you as I have purchased many for grieving gifts - there are many sites out there that sell cremation jewelry that will hold a small pinch of your Leo's ashes. It's a way for you to have him with you all the time and my experience has shown that it goes a long way in helping ease the pain. I have a small angel that hangs in my car that is filled with some of my grandparents ashes and I treasure it. I looked online where I have shopped and saw the cancer ribbon pendant and it made me think of you. I know there are several companies out there. Again, my most heartfelt condolences for your loss!

keep fighting the good fight darling! Sending you hugs!

It's funny - I was talking today to a friend who recently lost her one and a half year old and she said that she wishes all would just leave her alone and stop asking her if she's okay - as if she could be okay. I told her that the wishes, the thoughts are well meaning and come from a place of others not knowing the right thing TO say. I can't imagine. I do know that everyone grieves differently and you can't put yourself on a time frame to feel certain things at certain points in time.

I personally am a big believer after receiving as a gift myself in cremation jewelry as a gift to a loved one or yourself for the holidays. It made all the difference in the world and I wear my keepsake ALL THE TIME! I received the endless love but I know the company has literally hundreds. I have since ordered gifts for others and in fact am doing so this Christmas for my brother in law and his wife that had to put down their beloved Elvis a month ago. Hope this helps! endless love memorial pendant

What a wonderful way to celebrate a life and a love! Well done!

I had to leave when my grandmother was dying to come back to my family across the US. I wasn't able to be there when she passed and had to say my good-byes before anyone else. I suffered a lot of guilt over that, a lot of pain but came to the realization that things work out the way they are meant to. You need to feel good in your own heart and resolve in your own heart the good-bye. Being there emotionally is much different than being there physically and what matters most in my eyes.

Excellent advice from KayC. It is important to have an outlet for the grief and a place to go that brings you comfort. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

The loss of a twin I think is so different than the loss of a sibling. I know several twins and the bond that they share goes beyond just being a sibling. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that time starts to heal. You're not crazy - simply grief stricken and I'm so glad that you've sought out counseling.

Oh honey - I am so very sorry! What a tragedy and moving forward from something such as this is incredbily hard. It may do you some good at some point to start being in contact with others. Have you thought about counseling or therapy? Even some of the online chat rooms can be incredibly helpful. There is nothing worse in my eyes than a parent losing a child. That's not the way it's meant to be.

I don't think we ever fully recover from the loss of a parent that we are particulary close to. I know it's hard and those anniversary dates hurt. I hope that things are better with the therapist and I appreciate your honesty with the situation. Hoping things are turning around for you! ((hugs))

Oh honey - I am so sorry. Unfortunately, we all grieve differently and it just takes time. There's no easy or fast cure for getting over a loved one. Small steps in moving forward and find ways to remember her. I always suggest that those that have lost someone they love to read The Shack. It helped me with the loss of my grandmother five years later. I still miss her but I feel a little more at peace.