My Matthew was 20 years old. He was a hard worker, student, great friend, and awesome son. We were very close, I have two other children and of course love them dearly, but the loss of Matt is killing me. He was coming home at 9pm on a Friday night, he had gone to spend a little time with his girlfriend but had a long week at work and just wanted to come home. He stopped at a stop sign, proceeded to go and was hit by a police car that was traveling at excessive speeds without lights on. He died instantly.
I don't know how to move past this moment in time. I know I can't make it not have happened, but I want to. I know I can't go back in time and ask Matt to simply stay home that night, but I want to. I am still playing the "what if" game, I cry almost all of the time. My Dr has prescribed medication to keep me calm because I'm so hysterical I can't function on any level. I do find moments of sanity, like this for example, but mostly, I just keep replaying his last day in my mind like a movie stuck on repeat.
I have two other children so I need to try harder to move forward. I just don't know how.
Like I said, I am on medication and am seeing a therapist. Any help would be appreciated.
