It's been 2 years and 3 months since my best friend was taken away from me and I finally think I'm ready to let everything I have been trying to hold in out. My best friend, at 18, was in a tragic accident one evening and the next morning my mom had to tell me that she wasn't with us anymore. I never felt so horrible in my life, so many things were going through my head and I didn't have the slightest clue how to deal. The worst part was not being able to say goodbye or tell her I loved her once more before she was gone, she was gone before I knew it and that's only made this journey so much harder. We had known each other our whole lives, at just three months she was one of my first visitors once I was born and from that day our friendship started growing. We did everything together growing up and even when we were just 5 I knew she would be the friend that I could always count on and lean on. With the amount of time spent together and all the crazy memories we made in the process of becoming friends, we became sisters as well. And now with her gone I don't know who I am without her or how to get through this mess I feel like my life has become. For the first two years I tried to ignore and avoid what I was going through and push aside my emotions. Starting university two months after losing her defiantly hasn't helped one bit, needed to be around the ones I loved at the toughest times but not going to school didn't seem to be an option, I was going. I still sit and wish on stars that she is going to be the next person that texts me and is showing up for a surprise visit. I just want her back more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life, want back the other half to who I am as an individual, the one who I share all my interest with. But because I can't have her back, I don't know what to do, I push friends who are trying to help me away, get mad at others for crazy reasons, give up on things that we loved because if I'm not doing them with her I don't want to be doing them at all. Ive been told that sharing my story will help, will make me feel a bit better but all I'm feeling as I write this is pain and a lot of it. I miss my best friend more than any words could explain
Lost Since 2010
