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About KarenK

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
  • Interests
    Outdoor Adventure,
    Native American Culture,
    Watching Movies

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    May 5, 2013
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Hospice Of The Valley, Phoenix, Az.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,515 profile views
  1. I have been trapped in that zone for a very long time now.
  2. Loneliness has no age restrictions. I would enjoy having some companionship. I have perused some of the dating sites, but it goes against my nature and my pocketbook to pay for obtaining a date. Why not just hire a gigolo? lol Seriously ,the men I found in my age bracket were looking for women 25 years younger and not for companionship. It was kind of creepy and frightening to me. In reality, I think I was looking for Ron and of course, he wasn't there.
  3. Marg, I'll bet each and every one of us complained to our mates about something that got on our nerves and they complained about things that we did. That's just human nature. What we wouldn't give now to experience those trivial little things! Someone on the cancer forum was complaining that her husband left Gatorade bottles sitting around. I bit my tongue and didn't tell her that one day she might hopefully look around for those bottles again. I only wish I had Ron's clothes to pick up off the floor where he shed them.
  4. Had a less than joyful moment yesterday. I was channel surfing and landed on the Jewelry Channel which I sometimes peruse to break the monotony. They were presenting a gold pendant with an angel and the inscription "Always by your side". It was like the one I gave my daughter during her long battle with cancer. Needless to say, it does not enhance the Christmas spirit for me, which is non existent for me. For the first time in my long life, there is not a single present under the little tree. Of course we all know, the presents we really want wouldn't fit there anyway. Hope everyone has a peaceful holiday.
  5. Cannot seem to get into the holiday season, either. Have not even put up my little tree. Can't think of anything to get for "my guys" with my meager funds. Dodged another bullet today. I'm prone to skin cancer and get nervous when new mole type things appear. Had a pre-cancerous thing removed about four months ago from my arm. Discovered one which was getting bigger on top of my head a few weeks ago. Couldn't see it, of course, but was worried because of the growth factor. Went to my dermatologist today and he froze it off. It was not cancerous, but would likely continue to grow. It had a fancy name, but in reality is known as a barnacle of age. Oh, the joys of getting older. LOL
  6. Happy Birthday, my Anne! Hope you are doing something fun today and enjoying this cooler weather, finally. Karen
  7. Challenges

    Gwen, My heart breaks for you. I know the empty feeling well. My daughter always called me on my birthday, the last time being in March 2014. I remember Ron apologizing to me for no birthday card in 2013. He was in the hospital on his journey to death, yet he still remembered. All of those bittersweet days gone now, "Happy" is no longer in my vocabulary anymore either. I know it's not the same at all, but belated Happy Birthday,my friend. Karen
  8. Marg, Thank you for referring to me as a "young lady". It brought a small smile. I am but your younger sister at age 70. I don't know how I got this old. I felt it somewhat after Ron left, but losing Debbie was the kicker, I guess. I am certainly a bit slower, dizzier, and less sure of myself than I was 4+ years ago. A week from today represents my 45th wedding anniversary to be celebrated in my mind alone. I will get through it as I have done before. My son,grandson, & I are still struggling along in Scottsdale looking online for a place in the mountains that will fit us and 2 large dogs at a price we can afford. Now that winter is upon us, it will be difficult to move. We hoped for Colorado, Montana, or Wyoming but prices are too steep for our meager funds. Dave, My heart goes out to you. I wonder if there will ever come a time when the guilt each of us feels will dissipate. I guess we must just accept that we did the best we could under the circumstances, whatever they were. This new life we are all living is difficult, to say the least, and filled with trials and tribulations we are ill equipped to handle. I cried at the song Janka posted "My Heart Will Go On". Yes, my heart goes on, but truly has no reason to.
  9. Gwen, Holding you in my heart as we navigate this rocky road. Living without that one person who made us feel special definitely sucks. Hope somehow your days become brighter. Karen
  10. Marg, we have lost the ones that created or contributed greatly to our happiness. It is so hard to find it again without them.
  11. Remembering is good............sometimes. Continuing to downsize an entire life's worth of stuff, I cleared out a huge drawer full of photos, the ones that you never get around to putting in the albums or they are just the wrong size. Found a lot of duplicates. Found pictures from when I was a baby. Now, those are old! I was a happy, laughing, spoiled child as my parents and I traipsed around the country pulling our mobile home behind us. Looking back, I can't imagine that '55 Chevy pulling that 35" trailer over Wolf Creek Pass, but it did. I remember my dad pulling over a lot of times during our travels to let the radiator cool down. LOL I've seen some beautiful places in this country. Found so many pictures of my children & grandchildren throughout their lives. The ones of my daughter brought a few smiles, but for some reason, her class pictures Grades 1-8 brought a huge sadness. I watched her change and grow and thought "Now she has grown into ashes". There were a few pictures of young Ron, very few of him during our lifetime as he was usually taking the pictures. I could not look at his very last picture that I took three months before he died. In reality, it was plain that he was dying. I just didn't want to see it. Those pieces of paper contain my whole life of memories. Best I put them away once again.
  12. Gracie

    Sadness in my heart and soul for you and your family, Butch.
  13. Mary Beth, You have said it all. Even after 4 years, I have not found that peace. I sometimes wonder if my little family and I are fortunate enough to move from this place, will I ever be happy again? I just don't know.
  14. Sharing

    Marg, You go right ahead and write what is in your heart. It is still part of your grief. All of our lives have been changed in many ways because of our grief. Being older, it is hard to comprehend the ways of the world now, especially where our grandchildren are concerned. I just know we have to "be there" for them and help he best way we know how.
  15. So glad to hear that you are safe. Also just got an email from Anne letting me know. I was afraid you might be underwater.