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About R.Everit55

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/20/1959

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    my son and grandsons and new granddaughter are my life. I'm missing my darling wife. And now my Dear Mother.

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Son husband brother
  • Date of Death
    June 23, 2016 (Mom) June 12, 2004 (BIL) May 29, 2013 (BIL) Sept 10, 2013 (SIL) Jan 9, 2015(MyWife)
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

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2,609 profile views
  1. My son is in charge of my wishes. I too do not want heroic measures taken is there is no hope and I’m on machines. I don’t want to be on those. I made the decision when it came to My Mary. It was the hardest thing to do. But she didn’t want to exist like that anymore. 😔
  2. Three years coming

    Kay, even getting through one day at a time is such a real struggle. I’m trying.
  3. Three years coming

    I just got out of the hospital for a heart attack and being suicidal. I made it home though. But I don’t want to face the holidays then Jan 9th is three years since losing my Mary. I just don’t know how to face it all. My heart hurts. My Noah and Gracie should be here. My heart aches so badly. 😢💔
  4. Three years coming

    Thank you. I’m just an ordinary man though. ❤️
  5. I had to make the decision on when to take my Mary off life support Jan 9 2015. I now live with the suffering. But I know she is at peace and holding our babies and grandchildren in her eternal arms. Butch.
  6. I’m sorry Darrel ❤️
  7. Lainey im sorry for your loss. I’m sorry the second year feels worse than the first. I understand. Jan 9 will be three years since I lost my beautiful bride. And it feels worse. You’re only on your second year. Go easy on yourself for things can feel numb and unreal at times. I still feel that way. Keep posting. You are cared for ❤️ Butch
  8. Three years coming

    If only I could remove my heart. But then if I did that I’d miss out on loving my son and grandsons. 💔
  9. Three years coming

    Thank you Marty. That’s a beautiful poem.
  10. Three years coming

    Thank you. The loss of my grandchildren has hit me harder than ever thought possible. I’m seeing my therapist and also going to a group specifically for grandparents who lost grandchildren. Hopefully it goes well.
  11. Three years coming

    Thank you George. Your words mean a lot.
  12. Three years coming

    I feel like because I’m the man of this family that I should not be this pained and certainly not in this amount of tears. Whether it’s right or not it is what it is. I try to be strong for my son and family but the last few months it feels impossible. That’s why I feel like I’m letting them down. Thank you all for your kind words.
  13. Three years coming

    Thank you Marty. I apologize if I sound redundant in my posts. It’s just hard to find words.
  14. I want to say that my Mary was my entire world. She put others above all else including herself. She was a caretaker. She loved with everything in her soul. I want to trade places with her. She didn’t deserve to be sick with multiple things. She didn’t deserve to have ALS steal every little aspect of her life. But it did NOT steal her heart and soul. Up till the moment she passed in spite of not being able to talk or move or breathe on her own she still loved with everything she had in her. January 9th will be three years since she was taken. My heart is as shattered today as that night. And losing four grandchildren since is utterly angering and heartbreaking. It just plain hurts to no end. My life will never be the same. Not even close. I guess my only solace is our grandchildren are with her in heaven. Sometimes I don’t want to exist this way any longer. Sometimes I just am positive that I’m going to fail this test. Yes. That’s what I think. God is testing me. Well I say enough is ENOUGH. 💔. I thank god tho for my son DIL and nine year old Caleb and three month old Ryan. But sometimes that’s not enough compared to all that’s been lost. 😔. I don’t know why I’m posting this. Just need to talk. Thank you for listening. My heart is broken.
  15. I miss my grandchildren

    This was my angel girl gone way too soon. And the black and white is my latest grandson who resembles Gracie so much. I miss my girl so much 💔. And I miss my big boy Noah