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Froggie4635

Contributor
  • Content count

    655
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About Froggie4635

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/30/1962

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo
    maryann7022@yahoo.com

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Houston, TX
  • Interests
    My fur babes: Pongo, Hannah and Max; music, art, Pinterest. Am hoping as this journey continues, my interests will grow.

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Wife
  • Date of Death
    12/04/2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Recent Profile Visitors

1,780 profile views
  1. Gracie

    Like Marty, I can't find the words. My heart just hurts so very much for Butch and his family.
  2. Update from Houston

    I went in to volunteer at work for a bit...they are collecting and dispersing all sorts of supplies for people in need. I went to see some of my co-workers and colleagues. There were so many people there and so much going on it was a little overwhelming. I know there will be other chances to help. I do better in situations behind the scenes. I still have a difficult time being around a lot of people at once.
  3. Update from Houston

    Had a conference call with all the staff at the JCC. Water damaged the electric and air conditioning systems. There was 12 - 15 feet of water entered the lower level. We were reassured that we will not lose our jobs, and will continue to get paid. They could not even begin to give us a possible date where staff could be in the building. I tried to go to Target and purchase some items to donate to the clean up that needs done for staff, members and the community. I drove down a street not far from the JCC, and saw so much of the devastation people are dealing with...stuff that had to be pulled from their homes. The traffic lights were flashing, and I was nervous so I just picked up some items at Target and came back home. We are all in contact, as a family would be, and are supporting each other in whatever way we can. I took a complete break from all the news today...I needed it.
  4. Update from Houston

    Saw some pictures from where I work...8 feet of water on the bottom floor. So many of those I work closely with have had flooding in their home; one is going to move away and not try and rebuild. Mark's family is at various locations and a few are worried about flooding from one of the rivers. I've stopped watching any of the news stories about the evacuees; it just hurts my heart too much right now and is overwhelming. I relied so much in my "normal" schedule to help keep me in a positive frame of mind. I miss the daily interaction with my friends and colleagues. I know there are so many people who are going through so much worse than I am. and I still feel blessed I was kept safe. I knew there was a reason why we chose this house when we walked through the door that first time. I continue to work in the house and take advantage of this time off. Looking at the weather forecast, seems to be some cooler fall weather coming next weekend. Also looking at another possible tropical disturbance. I continue to stay in touch with friends and colleagues, to try and keep their spirits up.
  5. Update from Houston

    I finally ventured out...needed food for my babies. Wasn't sure if my usual store was open, so went to one I know was open, near my mother in law. Waited a little until it opened and guess who showed up...my MIL. When I got out of the car, my knees felt shaky. I think I am just now feeling the release of the anxiety from the last 4 days. I have become such a creature of habit and routine. Has been how I have dealt with things since Mark died. I feel the urge to go and help others, but financially it is rough and my back is still hurting from the car accident and not sure how long I could stand or what I could lift. Makes you feel helpless at times to see so much hurt.
  6. Update from Houston

    Rain has subsided...but so many areas are being overrun with water from rivers overflowing and dams breaching. Going to have to take a break from all the reports soon because the need for help is everywhere. There were reports of looting in some stores around my area, so I am not brave enough to venture out right now. I took one more step today...to avoid getting stir crazy. I finally cleaned the shower that Mark used...haven't really touched it since he died. I am going to have a lot of time on my hands the next few days until I know it is safe to leave. Tomorrow morning I am making myself promise to sit and write upon rising; before I turn on any news. I am going to escape a little this afternoon by watching "Grey's Anatomy" for a few hours. I feel blessed that I am safe.
  7. Update from Houston

    Kevin, Yes, I am very lucky and have been able to stay safe and dry with electricity. My heart hurts though for so many of the others I know and those I don't know who may be in dire straits and away from their homes. It has been raining all day, but no where near what it was the other night. Looks like we will still be watching until some time on Wednesday. My fur babes stick close to me and I stay calm for them. Been in contact with family and co-workers throughout. Am ready for Harvey to catch the first flight out of Houston...except the airports are CLosED.....lol. Thanks for all your care and concern.
  8. Update from Houston

    Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I am safe and dry, although rain has begun again and a little more windy. So many of my colleagues are having hard times and evacuating, I feel so much for them. I know Mark would be proud that I am keeping my cool and being strong. My fur babes are my priority, and they are keeping close. Just have to hunker down a couple more days.
  9. Wasn't sure where to post this but wanted everyone to know I am safe and sound here in Houston, but it is really bad in so many areas. Right now waiting to see what Harvey is going to do the next few days. My house did not get any water in it, but neighborhood is surrounded with flooded streets. The area where I work was hit really hard. No news choppers can get up to show the devastation, but the news is showing enough to see how very horrible this all has been. I am doing what is advised and hunkering down at home with the dogs.
  10. Healing

    Of course she will always be there watching out for you. I was told by someone with a spiritual connection that Mark is in the car with me every time I drive now...and he kept me from getting seriously injured three weeks ago. Had I been just a foot and a half more into the intersection, the outcome might have been so much worse. They continue to love and watch out for us, but I also believe that part of that would be wanting us to continue to live and try and find happiness. I was able to get my bathroom faucet repaired this passed weekend, and now I think I am finally ready to tackle the shower. That is the last place in the house that is untouched since Mark died. His razor is still resting on the bar of soap where he touched it last. We are all on different levels of healing, and my words are by no means how everyone should handle their grief. In the beginning, I wanted to stay in that sadness because I felt it connected me to Mark. But life sometimes has a different plan for us. I know now that I am not the same woman that Mark married; many things about me have changed. But I truly believe he would and does love the woman I am becoming, and finds joy knowing that my love for him is part of what drives such a change. Loving him and losing him helped me find strength I never knew existed inside me. We ALL are braver than we let ourselves see.
  11. Healing

    Dear Mitch, I remember after Mark died I went through many of this belongings...looking for items to "connect" to, even things that pre-dated our relationship. I knew they meant something to him and I wanted that feeling around me. First thing I had to clean out was the big chest of drawers where a lot of his clothing was kept. I collected various t-shirts to have a quilt made (even bought special fabric to go along with it). I washed the t-shirts and put everything together. But time moved by and I never did get that quilt made. I had three pair of his shoes sitting out on a special rack so I could see them. Half of my closet housed his collection of Hawaiian shirts. I would leave the closet open so I could see them hanging there. After I passed the two year mark, and began moving into the third, and started the idea of moving forward, I started taking down many of the items. I found that what I was feeling for Mark was changing. It was becoming more INTERNAL. I tried numerous times to remove my rings, or try wearing them a different way. When I finally had the courage, I removed them completely and replaced them with a simple silver band with black stones. I like the idea of wearing something there, but wanted it to be a transition. When I began to think about dating, I started to remove things. I read LOTS of articles about widows who began to look for love again. I also felt a gentle "nudging"...I know that was Mark. There are things I have around me in my home that will ALWAYS be associated with Mark and I will never put them away. But they won't make anyone uncomfortable because I will know what they are and what they mean. Since the accident, and having to let go of his car, I found I have the courage to allow my memories to be my connection now. And I am at peace with it all now.
  12. How is everyone?

    I recently posted about the car accident that totaled Mark's car...am still processing the whole thing. Have a new vehicle and adjusting to it; trying to personalize it since it is only MY car. I still put Mark's clip on sunglasses on the visor...since I was told he is with me whenever I drive. I will be starting treatment with a doctor as the lawsuit has gotten underway. Some days I delay taking any pain meds (ibuprofen/Bufferin) just to see if things are improving or not. Usually not. I went yesterday without any muscle relaxer, since I forgot to take it the night before...and I KNOW it hasn't really improved much. Insurance screwed me out of $130 when they paid off the car. They waited until I made the August payment on the loan, and somehow paid less than they told me they would just a week before when they said they were totaling it. Should not have deleted that text message. GGGRRR. On a lighter note, I have been seeing a really nice man for about a month and a half. We are taking it slow, but I think he was hand-picked by Mark. He even has the same sense of humor. He checked in on me the Monday after the accident and when I answered the door, he asked me straight-faced, "Where's your car?" and then smiled really big. What really showed me that he is a good guy was on our first meeting, he asked me what I went through when Mark died...what happened that day. He knew I was a widow, because I listed it on my profile (we met on Our Time dating site). He makes me smile, and makes me feel pretty. I have missed that so much. I haven't wanted the attention of a man since Mark died over 2 1/2 years ago. I was afraid I might be too boring for him....but he said that I was FAR from boring. Made me feel good. I told him that I could not tell him how things might go as the trigger months start to arrive (between Thanksgiving and my birthday the end of March). His birthday is December 13 (another Sagittarius...lol) might help this year. I thought in the beginning that I wanted to stay alone...but felt a nudge to get back out there...think it was Mark wanting me to be happy once again. I began removing a lot of the things I put up around the house to strengthen my connection to Mark; but now know that he is in my heart and don't need reminders in every room. Plus, I feel it is not right to bring someone new into a "shrine". There are reminders around that he will never know are there. I think that is fair. I still stop by every so often and check in to see how everyone is...so many who came when I did have gone away.
  13. The Car

    Kay, In fact, someone gave me a message that Mark was indeed watching out, and kept me from being hurt more seriously. I was told that he is with me each time that I drive. I am sure he is responsible for the witness who gave me her information. I didn't really need someone to tell me that...it helps to have validation though.
  14. The Car

    I asked the adjuster to give me a picture of the car so I can look at it and feel blessed to still be here. The car was totaled and paid off; I went and got another one on Thursday. A 2011 Honda Civic. I am adjusting to it. It doesn't hold the same special place as my Accord...not yet anyway. I am still processing the whole incident. Waiting for a copy of the police report to close the file on the property portion of the accident. I am still healing, hopefully on all levels. I know that there were special spirits watching out for me.
  15. The Car

    Thanks everyone. Taking this week off work to rest and begin to heal. Have a test to go to on Friday. Dealing with the insurance companies have given me more stress than the accident. It has been determined that the other driver was 100% at fault, so their insurance company is trying to tie everything up nicely. But I did not ask to be in an accident and now I am hurting and emotional. I cancelled the claim I made on MY insurance...the other insurance company advised me to do so to cover the storage costs on the car. Well, now that liability has been determined, they can pay it all. I also spoke with an attorney about the injuries I am dealing with. It is nothing serious, but I went to work on Tuesday and made it 4 hours. I know it could have been worse, and I am thankful. But I also did not expect this disruption in my life. Yuk!!
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