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scba

Contributor
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About scba

  • Rank
    Ana

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Spain

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    my boyfriend
  • Date of Death
    2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Recent Profile Visitors

2,272 profile views
  1. Take it, and take whatever sign that makes you feel a little better. Real or not, who could say they aren't?
  2. Marg, my thoughts are with you today
  3. I understand. I have been not seriously thinking to moving to Madrid or Bath (UK). Why You want to move to Wyoming?
  4. I wish I had the courage, I had it once and I got "are you thinking to be alone for the rest of your life?" And so I cried. I will have to take courage once more.
  5. A friend of mine told me she met a man suited or me. This was not a hypothetical situation like "would you like to date again?". She described him, she knows him. I was in shock. My mind started to race. I didn't want to make a scene because she is a dear friend and she ment well. I stayed calmed and found out a good rational objectively reason to reject her candidate. This could happen again....and I am, maybe scared is not the right word, but I don't want it to happen again and I wish I have the power to prevent it. Until now people have hinted at dating with metaphores. Now there are real people they want me to introduce. When se described this man, all I could think and see was my boyfriend. I asked heavens to bring him back so I would not have to be in this situation, to say the least. He was suited to me in all possible ways and beyond. I will need more strength and wisdom to endure new situations in grief and I am so tired, I don't want anymore grief tests. Needed to let it out.
  6. Hello Mares, I am very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, and being pregnant. Hold on to your baby in hopes that he will bring your heart back to life. I don't know if you want to read a book, there is one of a young widow and pregnant too, I read some parts years ago. Here is the link https://www.amazon.com/Companion-Through-Darkness-Inner-Dialogues/dp/0060969741 This is a safe place where you can share your grief. I came here three years ago when I lost my boyfriend. Peace. Ana
  7. Butch, there are no words that could offer any piece of confort and peace to you and your family. But we support you and you're in everybody's prayers and thoughts.
  8. Hello Janka, If you like Cristian Castro, listen to "Despues de ti, que" and "Mi vida sin tu amor"
  9. I'm sorry Gwen. If it helps a little bit, I feel the same on that. There is no "strong connection" with what I do and with whom happens to be there in that moment. I became quite solitary. I don't call my friends, just text them. I don't look for company to do stuff. I don't beg for company. People keep asking if I made new friends. But they never lost company nor they had to rebuild a life from ground zero. I had to re-learn "social skills". This is not a joke. I found a good question for them: what about you, have you made friends in the last 6 months? no? and why not? It seems very easy....from the outside. Like it is our fault that we don't "try" enough nor we are "open" enough. I am alone because of death. My thoughts are with you.
  10. Happy birthday dear Kay. Hope your pc is fixed soon. Best wishes!
  11. I echo these, dear Gwen. I understand and feel the same.
  12. I don't dare to tell someone, who hasn't gone through loosing a partner to death, of what I've experienced and felt. The thing is, I doubt I will ever love that way and I doubt I would do what I did in my relationship again. I doubt I could have again, even a small amount, of what I had. I cannot even put down in words what it ment. I gave everything, I did not "save" myself. I went down in that ship. I don't think I could do that again. I know what may happen "next". I admire those who try again. But I'm too full of fear. That's my reality. So.....I doubt. Hugs to you too.
  13. Yes Kay, it is so unfair and we all deserved so much better. There are no reasons why....
  14. Thank you all for your words and your understanding. Peace
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