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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

seagull57

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • Date of Death
    19.12.2000
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    Burns

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    England
  1. Hi KayC, I just want to thank you for your warm and comforting reply. There is a lot of wisdom there which I shall take on board. I am sorry to hear you lost your own Mum 11 months ago. So kind of you to relate your similar experiences with care. Thank you once again Kay. Your words have helped very much.
  2. Mum is nearly 89 but she is gravely ill. At Christmas last year she took pneumonia and I got the call from my brothers to travel 500 miles to the hospital. I stayed for a week, helping the doctors and nurses and singing to Mum (she was musical) - isn't if funny the things that make you smile - the duty nurse rushed in because she thought Mum's beeper had gone off - I apologised for my bad singing and stopped. With prayers from friends Mum pulled through and I returned home to my daughter, who is disabled and she missed me dreadfully, even trying on my creams to feel I was around. So you see it isn't easy to go up to visit Mum and leave my daughter. Last week I went up again, leaving me son to look in on my daughter's care. Mum has had a stroke now, and has tardive dyskenesia - so she is paralysed neck down, but her head keeps banging and her mouth is skewn down and dribbling. She has a tube-feeder. She is in an old folks home. My brothers and I visited her for 2 days and as Mum can't speak we talked loudly to each other. She followed some conversations and magazine pictures of the Royal family's baby. I made jokes with her 'Mum I'm wearing pink to make the boys wink.' and her eyes laughed. These are things the boys, my brothers wouldn't think to say. So it was special for me to share with her. Just before I had to leave her, they asked me to leave the room to fit a urine catheter - and this is the bit that hurts - I heard her screaming. I wonder - did they explain to her - did they anaesthetise her bits - she looked so frail and franky terrified in her little bed. She dozed off - then she awoke and saw me next to her holding her hand - I saw her eyes smile - I told her I love her and I swear she mouthed 'I love you too' back to me. I had to go back 500 miles, leaving her there - my brother looks in regularly and he is attentive, so that it some relief. It''s just that on the plane home the rain came down the portholes and I felt overwhelmingly sad. I work at a cinema, and while watching the film, I became detached and deeply sad again. I have been treated for depression a couple of years ago and come through with help and support from professionals - do you think I need help again - or is this normal? I don't have any other friends as such that I can confide in and so am glad of this group.
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