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About Cookie

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Cullowhee, nc
  • Interests
    Hiking, yoga, reading, good conversation, knitting, connection.....

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
    June 13, 2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. I have had two very unusual birds show up at my place and stay for about 30 minutes during the last 2 1/2 years. I want to believe they are from John. He so loved birds and wanted to fly; loved to fly in planes. But, I confess, it frustrates me....not really knowing. I want something really graphic so badly, like a vision of him; then I think I would know. If they can come or send birds, why can't they appear. This is where I think it's all just wishful thinking. And, it hurts so much....Cookie
  2. Mitch: Your post was so heartfelt. My thoughts are with you....Cookie
  3. Oh, how beautiful....would love to go there; of course, having John with me would make it really wonderful....Cookie
  4. Yes, DaveM, I was totally surprised. I never imagined....this world.....
  5. Gwen: I have reacted strongly the that word "widow," but a strange thing happened to me at tax time. I put widow for status and they returned it to me as "single." When I saw that word, I really had a strong emotional reaction. I said, I am not single; I didn't choose this; I didn't divorce from my husband; he was taken from me in the cruelest way; although, I don't like being a "widow," it rings more realistic than "single." They said I only get two years as widow status, then have to be single; has to do with taxes and they can get more money from me as single. Sometimes I have a hard time with this world we live in.....Cookie
  6. Janka: Love the little dancing heart.....I think you are also a very kind, loving person, as are all the people on this site....may all this love we put out there surround and support us....love to you, Cookie
  7. And you deserve everything that is wonderful.....Cookie
  8. Darrel: My song is "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran: Lyrics When your legs don't work like they used to before And I can't sweep you off of your feet Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70 And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23 And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways Maybe just the touch of a hand Oh me I fall in love with you every single day And I just wanna tell you I am So honey now Take me into your loving arms Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars Place your head on my beating heart I'm thinking out loud A week before John died, we were watching a concert by Ed Sheeran on TV and when he sang this song, John reached out and took my hand and the love that passed between us was so strong.....after he died, I would hear it every time I got in the car and wondered??? I hope so. It always makes me cry, though...Cookie Hey, I'm not techie enough to post the video either. Can someone tell me how?
  9. Darrel: Those words "die or dead" are strange. When I say them in relationship to John or someone else does, it still seems surreal and I feel so distanced from it. Can't seem to connect John to those words, and, yet, he is.....dead....I can say it but still can't believe it.....Cookie
  10. Janka: My heart goes out to you.....I know, no matter how much time goes by or how "nice" a time you can have (and I have had some nice times), there is still that hollow crater in my heart and soul that really hurts. Nothing can seem to alleviate this particular pain.....hopefully some day. I also have that sadness seeing couples together. I don't at all begrudge them the happiness; just want it back for me. Hugs to you....Cookie
  11. Yeah Gwen: Turns out I don't do medicines well, but I never really took them before. All of a sudden, I'm trying all these different things; just hoping one of them works pretty soon.....Cookie
  12. Oh Kayc: What a story. You have been through hell and it's got to be so hard watching your daughter going through it. My heart goes out to you.....you are such a caring, wonderful and supportive person.....Cookie
  13. Oh Kayc: I have to respond to this.....I too have a sister who did something very much like yours. I was feeling down because I have a gravel drive and it's expensive to put road bond on. We were getting a lot of rain and I was having anxiety over it washing away because I had just spent $800+ on the road bond. In a low moment, I shared with her how I was feeling and she said, "I told you so; I tried to tell you and John not to build up that high." Like you, that was 20-some years ago, we were excited and John had no qualms about building up here and taking care of the road. It never crossed our minds how this would turn out and I would be taking care of this property by myself on a limited income! There is no way you can know these things and it's just cruel for someone to make the "I told you so remark." When I reacted negatively to what she said, she then said, "Oh, you've always been too sensitive" and I said, no, you are insensitive. It makes me never want to speak to her again. A simple sorry you're having to go through this would have sufficed. She has no idea....many people don't and they don't realize how it hurts, like you're getting beaten up again. So sorry you had that experience too.....Cookie