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Polly

Contributor
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    159
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About Polly

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Bangor, Pa

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    11/5/2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    St. Luke's Hospice House/Bethlehem, Pa

Recent Profile Visitors

822 profile views
  1. Just an update on things. Last Tuesday night I was so down and really missing Bill. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of weeks. I chatted with a close friend of mine. She knew Richard and also Nicole. We have been friends for years. We had a good talk about everything. She gave me some really good advice. Right after that, I was on facebook and it was around 1am. Bill also was on fb. He is never up that late. So I messaged him. Then I called him and we talked for over an hour. I told him that I needed to talk with Nicole and let her know that I was still going to see him. I wasn't going to throw away what we had. I deserve to be happy. She doesn't have to like it but she has to respect my feelings. Just as I don't have to like who ever she dates, that is her choice. On Thursday, I was out shopping and decided to stop by Bill's work. It felt so good to see him and hug him. Tonight we went on a date. We went to dinner and stopped at the mall. He bought me a cat necklace at the jewelry store for Christmas. I have been looking at that necklace and thinking that it was what Richard would have bought for me.
  2. I have only talked to Bill twice and it was through Facebook messenger. The 2nd time was 10 days ago. I told him I was sorry. We chatted back and forth a bit but then he seemed to think that because I was talking to him that we were going to get back together. At that time I just didn't see that happening so I told him I had to go. Since then he tried to message me twice, both times I just didn't respond. I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point.
  3. Yes, I think about Richard everyday. I talk to him too. I still have a lot of his things. I just can't deal with doing anything with it yet. My oldest daughter, who is married, understands and was happy for me. Sure it was hard at first for her to see me with someone else, but she also saw how happy I was. My youngest just turned 18 today. She has not said one word about Bill since I broke things off with him. I have to say this has been really hard for me. I did what I did because I love my kids. I'm having a hard time with my decision though. I'm depressed and crying every day. I talked with my sister that I'm closest with the other day. It made me feel a little better when she told me that if it was her that she would have done the same thing. I'm not even looking forward to Christmas. I haven't even put up the tree. I wouldn't even bother but will do it for my daughter. We aren't even going to be here on Christmas. We are going to my sisters house on Christmas eve which is 4 hours away. All 6 of my sisters live there and also my mom. When Richard was alive we used to drive to Altoona on Christmas morning after we would open our presents. The past 2 years we just couldn't be here for that so we started just leaving after I get off of work on Christmas Eve. This year it will be even harder because I still won't be with who I want to be with.
  4. Well.....I'm testing the pellet stove out right now. So far it's working properly. Youtube is my best friend. LOL! Luckily the pellet stove is my 2nd heat source. but without it I go through a lot more heating oil.
  5. thanks Kay. We will see what happens. Right now I'm focusing on me. He told me he will wait for me because he loves me. I told my best friend what he said and she believes that he is not going any where. Ok, now I need to see if I can fix this pellet stove. Last winter the exhaust fan went out. I figured out how to replace that myself. Now I believe the sensor went out. At least that is what I'm hoping is wrong. Got a new one so I need to figure out how to replace it. Wish me luck.
  6. Thanks. So true. It has been almost 2 weeks since I broke up with Bill. I'm not sure how I feel about it. At times I like having my time to myself, other times not so much. I think I need this time to figure things out. You are right.....the love will still be there.
  7. Thanks George. I will look for it. I realize that now. I was caught off guard and let her get to me, which is not me at all. I know I handled the situation wrong.
  8. Kay, Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it. I also have thought about pretty much everything you said. So....not offended at all. I was just at my breaking point last week. I just couldn't deal with any of it anymore. I'm at work right now so will share the rest of my thoughts when I'm home. I hate typing on this phone.
  9. It's been awhile since I posted here. It has been a little over 2 years since my husband died. Last year I went to a grief support group for people that lost their spouse. It was a small group and I made some good friends from it. It was an 8 week program. After it ended a couple of us decided to all get together and go bowling once a week. It was nice to get out and have a nice evening. I looked forward to it. My youngest daughter(she is 17) and a friend would also go. As the months went by there was a connection with my friend Bill. He lost his girlfriend. Bill and I had a lot in common. We started dating at the beginning of the year. It was hard. My daughter was not happy about it. I tried talking to her about it. As the months went by she seemed to be a little better with it. Things also started getting serious with Bill and I. My 25 year old daughter was ok with it. She just wanted me to be happy. Then around the 2 year mark of my husbands passing, my 17 year old started getting nasty about me being with Bill. It got so bad that last Thursday I told Bill that I was done. That I can't see him anymore. I felt like I had to choose between my daughter and my boyfriend. I felt like what kind of mom chooses their boyfriend over their daughter? Bill is so heart broken. I am too. We really loved each other. My daughter has been herself these past few days. Me? I feel like I lost again. She is going to graduate from high school in 6 months. I know she probably won't stick around much longer after that. I don't know if I did the right thing with this situation. My heart hurts so bad again. This is all just so hard.
  10. Simultaneous Grief and Love

    I've been wondering how things were going for you two. I'm so happy for both of you. It is crazy to think about how my boyfriends and my hearts were torn out and we both never thought we would be with someone else so special. I didn't find him on this website but we did meet at a grief support group. We have been dating for 9 months now. My 17 year old daughter has finally come around with the whole situation. It has been hard on all of us. Today was a hard day for me. I had to go to the lawyer and sign the final papers for Richards estate.
  11. Butch, I am speechless. I'm so sorry.
  12. Parallel Lives, by Kelley Lynn

    Steve, Bill and I just had that conversation the other day about talking so much about our lost loves. We both agreed that if we were dating someone that hadn't lost their loved one that they might not understand or would get jealous. Btw-We both believe they had something to do with us meeting.
  13. Parallel Lives, by Kelley Lynn

    Ohhhhhhh, this is so how I feel!!!! Except it's more like a foursome. My new love also lost his love. We started dating 8 months ago. The mixed emotions are so hard. Being so happy and sad at the same time. How is that even possible? My boyfriend does remind me of Richard in so many ways. Sometimes he will send me a text message and I swear the text was from Richard. This always happens to my boyfriend. I will say something and he gets this deer in the headlights look. I know what he is thinking, that I just sounded like his love. Makes me wonder if they had anything to do with us meeting.
  14. Yes Kay. Me and my girls. Yes, I have come to accept that it can and will hit me at any given time and that is ok. I am glad that we took this trip. It really helped turn a sad time into a happy one. We always would include the girls and do something fun for our anniversary.
  15. Hi Marie, Kev's birthday and our Anniversary is on the same day. This would have been our 10th. It hit me hard. I took flowers to Rich's grave and told him Happy Anniversary and totally lost it. My older daughter was 2 hours away in Lancaster, Pa for a training class for work. She texted me that day and wanted me and my other daughter to come there. So we packed an overnight bag and hit the road. Yesterday we went to Kitchen Kettle Village and spent the day there. We even took a buggy ride later in the day. Worked out good because it was just the girls and I and the Amish women that drove the horses. We learnt so much about their way of life.
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