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About BillT

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 01/07/1951

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  1. For what it is worth dear Janka, many here share the pain and are wishing you the very best.
  2. I hope it puts a smile on your face, Janka! Hope you are feeling better. Bill
  3. Pauly you have come to this place where people truly understand what you are going through. That doesn't help much, but it does help. Read the posts of others and you will find that there are those who are traveling the road you travel, or have traveled the road further than you have at this point. This is possibly the hardest thing that we do in life, continuing on when our every reason for living has been taken from us. The love of my life was taken from me just two years ago. I won't say that my existence is "better" after two years, but I believe that I am learning to cope. Completely understandable that the holidays have slammed you. Go easy on yourself. Sometimes we can only survive a minute at a time. Anger, guilt, and emptiness follows us. You will encounter times when you will not feel the burdens as heavily as you do now. Survive this time, one minute at a time. Prayers to you Pauly BillT
  4. Darrel, please always remember that you traded her suffering for yours. I wish you strength and grace. My story is similar to yours, even to the timing. I lost my dear Mary Kay in January 2016 when I traded her suffering for mine. I know in my heart that I acted based on her desires without regard to the cost to me. Strength to you to travel your road, brother. Bill
  5. That is just beautiful. My Mary Kay would have been enthralled. It is as if I can heaar hfer just going on and on about the colors, especially the Christmas scene. She was always so appreciative of everything. I especially like the scene from the castle - the one overlooking the river. Thank you Janka for sharing the pictures with me. Here below is one of my favorite pictures of the Love of my life. Bill
  6. Brad, reading your posts have helped me in many ways, often letting me realize that I am not completely alone in the feelings I have. Thank you for being you, and best wishes to you in the future! Bill
  7. I used to smile and laugh every day. Maybe I will again some day. Thanks and prayers to all. Bill
  8. Need prayers

    Prayers to you and yours Butch.
  9. Many souls here are walking the path that you have been set upon. None of us chose this path, but there is nothing to do but travel it. My heart goes out to you. Your pain is felt here. There is no "fix", but they tell me that we will eventually find our way. This site allows us to read and speak with others who do understand. Prayers to you.
  10. I believe that is the crux of the issue of people "not understanding". They don't understand because they can't understand unless they have been through it, and possibly only if they have been through it recently. I have lost a sister, a wife , a girlfriend, a father, mother, step father, and now, just eight months ago, my soulmate. None of the previous losses prepared me in any way for the loss of my soulmate. I understand that people do not understand. Love and prayers are with you.
  11. I'm not the same person

    So true. Nothing seems to help for the past eight months.
  12. Gin, The same thing happened with my TV a couple of months ago. To get it back to operating normally, I had to turn off the TV and unplug it from the wall. I waited 30 minutes, plugged it back in, and when it came back on, my remote functioned normally. If you try this, I hope it works for you too! Love & prayers to you, Bill
  13. Roary, I am so sorry for you losing your Bob. This forum is a good place for expressing your grief and reading the thoughts of others who are going through similar agonies. I lost my sweet Mary Kay in January. We were soul mates from the first day, 18 years ago. I miss her every minute of every day. Janet welcome to the group. Visit often and share your grief. You are in the right place. Love and prayers, Bill
  14. Cookie, My heart goes out to you, I miss my Mary Kay so much that I just do not want to go on. I lost the love of my life just seven months ago. Sadness and tremendous loss - yes, oh yes. Cookie, I wish that I could say something that would ease your pain, but I don't believe the words exist. We miss our loved ones and the pain cuts us to our souls. Like you, I, at 65 feel that my life is likely over. Know that people here on this site have a idea of what you are going through and love and prayers are coming to you. Bill