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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

coliver

Members
  • Posts

    2
  • Joined

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About coliver

  • Birthday 12/28/1950

Contact Methods

  • MSN
    bullhollow@hotmail.com
  • Website URL
    http://
  • Yahoo
    coliver1827

Profile Information

  • Location (city, state)
    Phoenix
  • Interests
    dogs, gardening, beaches, reading

Previous Fields

  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. Hi Benita, I have not been to this site much, but decided to log on today. I too feel very alone even when I am in a group of people, and so miss the hugs and kisses. I make it a point to give all the hugs I can now. It is in no way the same, but it does help me feel somewhat more normal. I have the most difficulty in seeing or hearing how others think their loved ones will always be there, just as I did, and don't take advantage of every opportunity to share their love. I have been in a very bad emotional state lately and I truely miss myself. I feel like I am faking every smile and action. I wonder if I might need to be hospitalized because I can't find the strength to cope. I too wear my husband's favorite T shirt, which gives me some comfort. I find that taking my dogs for a walk or driving to the highest point I can find and overlooking the city makes me feel better. I guess just being close to nature makes me feel closer to my husband and God. Bless you all and XOXOXO to you too! Cheryl
  2. Hi Deb, I am the ultimate everything. I take care of everyone (except myself,) feel guilt about everything, and try to fix things for everyone. Not putting myself first has not helped me at all in the grieving process. I took care of my baby sister 10 years ago when she had a heart problem after delivering a baby girl and still she died. I took care of my husband of 35 years and still he died 4 years ago. I took care of my son and still he died two years ago at age 35. I am a nurse and my job is to save lives. I have helped so many children live but I could not save my own loved ones. The reason is because I am not the ultimate everything. That is only an illusion that gives me excuses to do things for everyone else so I don't feel guilty. Ironically, it's a vicious circle because I still have as much guilt as anyone. It's just a really unhealthy guilt because I avoid doing things just for me. Now I am alone, with no one to take care of and no desire to do anything for me. If you don't do things for yourself, you can't take care of others. I urge you to never feel guilty about stepping away, giving your mind and soul and break. Everyone needs and deserves that. In the end there will always be something to feel guilty about. The truth is that we have very little control at all; except to take those moments for ourselves when we can. Take care of you. Always! Cheryl
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