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ElizabethH77

Contributor
  • Content count

    12
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About ElizabethH77

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Ft Knox, Ky

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Sister
  • Date of Death
    July 4, 2016
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA
  1. Writing thank you cards

    Clematis, my prayers are with you.Hugs!!
  2. Cry into dust, miss my brother

    Hi Annie. I sent you an email last week, did it reach you? Elizabeth
  3. Writing thank you cards

    Thank you ladies. I've noticed just about every Sunday morning when we're getting ready for church that it is so difficult to get myself together. I'm thinking about my sister and I feel the tears welling up. Yesterday morning I had even went as far as putting on the dress I wore to my sister's funeral but I've since put on a few pounds so therefore I didn't wear it. In my mind I was thinking the dress would make me feel closer to her somehow. It's really weird..Back to readying myself for church, is it possible that I somehow associate going to church on Sunday mornings with going to the funeral? I'm always thinking about her on Sunday mornings when I'm getting ready for church. Maybe in the back of my mind I'm reminded of how every Sunday morning she would go to church before she was hospitalized and eventually died. I made it through the service yesterday morning without any tears but on the way home from church I lost it when I read a text from one of my sons when he told me people at his church were still praying for me. No, I wasn't driving, just in case y'all were wondering my husband was and he has been a blessing to me allowing me to cry on his shoulder and encouraging me to talk about what I'm feeling when I can. We sat and looked at pictures of my sister when she was younger always with a goofy smile. Thanks for every word of encouragement. It means a lot..Love and blessing
  4. It's been over two months since my sister died. I thought I'd be able to handle writing out thank you cards..I thought maybe enough time had passed and I would be able to do it. Oh, I wrote out some but boy was it painful. I kept feeling as if I wanted to scream and even throw things. So I left clearing off the table until this afternoon and the flood gates opened again, especially as I came across my sister's obituary. Lord have mercy, this is so difficult.
  5. Cry into dust, miss my brother

    Thank you, Annie. I will be in touch. I so appreciate it.
  6. Cry into dust, miss my brother

    Annie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I won't begin to say that I know what you're going through but I know the pain of losing a sibling. My heart goes out to you and my prayer fir you is that you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I can remember right after my sister died two months ago from a rare disease that I thought she would recover from or I was in denial, but feeling like I was the only person who had ever gone through something like that. Even thinking when seeing others happy, "don't they know I'm sad or grieving"? It was like I'm hurting here and sad and everyone else should be too. It's crazy the thoughts and feelings a grieving person has. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. This group has been a blessing to me and I'm sure it will be for you as well. I'm finding that there are times that even though you talked about the loss with someone before you begin to sense when that same person either become uncomfortable when you again start to talk about what you're feeling or they like change the subject. Most of the time I just want someone to listen and I find the discussion groups not only listen and I feel comfortable enough to repeat what I'm feeling if I need to. Blessing to you precious Annie!
  7. GUILTY for not being there

    Kayc, it's only by God's grace that I'm able to keep going because this is for sure a hard road to travel, as you already understand. I'm so glad that I came across this grief healing discussion group where I can freely express how I'm feeling and realize that what I'm feeling is part of the grieving process. I pray Continued comfort for you and everyone else traveling this road.??
  8. GUILTY for not being there

    Kayc, you are right on about the problem with the conflicting needs for our attention because I felt like I was being pulled in two directions; dealing with my mom with dementia and how fast it was progressing and wanting to be there for my sister who was sick and I couldn't be there for her. Wondering when she would be home from the hospital and how long of a road she would need for recovery. I know her concern was that our mother would be taken care of. What a stressful time that was. I couldn't believe what was happening and yet people go through stuff like it all the time. For some reason, yesterday and today I have thought a lot about my sister and at times I could hardly pull myself together. I think about how she worked hard as a teacher and loved her job, and saved but didn't get to enjoy life. After being hospitalized she told her son that she was going to retire and enjoy life but she didn't get a chance too. I wonder, will I ever get over the sadness. I guess I have to take it one day at a time. Thanks for the link included. Some parts as I read it it was as if it was speaking directly to me.. May God continue to comfort each and every one of you like only He can..
  9. GUILTY for not being there

    Wow! Angel, I pray that you have forgiven yourself for not being with your precious mom when she died. Two months ago my sister who had been in the hospital for seven weeks with a rare disease died. She and her adult son lived with my mom and she was a caregiver to my mom even though my mom could pretty much take care of herself. I live 10 hours away and a week after my sister was hospitalized my husband took me to stay with my mom to help her until we thought my sister would get better and back on her feet. Unbeknownst to me my mom had started exhibiting signs of dementia that worsened after my sister who is the youngest and who my mom was very depended on and close with went to the hospital. I found out after being there maybe a week when my mother had to be hospitalized for a few days in a different hospital. While my sister was in the hospital I only got to visit her twice because my sister was in a hospital that was over an hour away, and each time I planned to go visit her with either my nephew or my brother and his wife my mom would act out in such a way that no one else could really deal with her. Therefore i would have to cancel going to see her. I did get to visit her twice but have felt guilty that I didn't go more and on the morning I planned to go I had to once again cancel and she died that night which was July 4th. I even felt that I had been a coward for not going because it was so hard to see my little sister who had always been so strong become so sick. I've been wondering if I will ever be normal, for lack of a better work, again. I still can't bear to think about her too much and even after two months keep wishing this was a dream. God only know how my mom is dealing with the grief. I pray you are doing a little better. God bless you!
  10. Thank you so much seachelle..
  11. Thank you, Kayc. I think the church I attend has a grief ministry. I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk with anyone yet. My husband asked me tonight if I thought it would help if I talked to someone else. I told him I didn't think I was ready. He's been very supportive but it bothers him that he can't help me. I told him that he's helping by listening and letting me cry on his shoulder. Yesterday evening and today has been the worst since my sister passed. I'm pretty sure I have still been in a state of shock because after seeing on FB yesterday, that the school where my sister taught was having sort of a memorial service for her today and everyone planning to attend were to bring balloons to release at the end of the service. Well, after I saw that the tears started to really flow. It felt like everything was so final concerning my sister and all the tears that seemed to have been pent up were released. Oh, I've cried since my sister died the night of July 4th but this was different. Thanks for responding, KayC!
  12. Hi. I loss my sister not quite two months ago from a rare disease call amyloidosis. She was diagnosed October 2015. she was younger than me; only 52 years old and would have been 54, August 18th. She died 5 1/2 months after her dad who was my stepdad, died. She was a kindergarten teacher and well loved. She was gifted at being a teacher and loved every moment of it. My sister, unbeknownst to me was under a great deal of stress but was not one to ask for help or even complain. She always looked out for everyone else but herself. Always smiling and from all outward appearance, everything seemed to be fine even after her dad passed in January. She was the type who kept whatever was going on to herself and even though we were sisters, she didn't share stuff with me. I live about 10 hours from where my sister lived in our home town so I didn't see her often nor did we talk very often over the past couple years. You see, my stepdad was admitted to a nursing home and when my sister wasn't working she was back and forth to the nursing home. She was so very busy even caregiver for my mom who she lived with. Although my sister has been gone since July 4th, I still can't believe she's gone. I'm still dealing with shock.. This does not seem real although I know it is. I can barely put into words what this feels like. The pain is so, very hard. God continues to give me the strength and comfort that I need. So many people have been praying for our family and I know that's the only reason we are making it. My heart goes out to all of you. blessings
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