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About Annabella

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    New Visitor

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  • Location (city, state)
    Kelowna, British Columbia

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
  1. thank you again....it has been a very tough week. we will have to call a family meeting to discuss respect and kindness and being there for each other I think. Also, I will have to discuss that it is too hard for me to be in denial.....we must face the facts together and be there for each other together and through this. Thank you. articles were a good read. Good night for now. And yes I will apologize.....could not remember that I hadnt...i think it was too difficult for me to face what i did but it was a long time ago so an apology will be coming.
  2. Rejected by a Grief Group

    I am so sorry that that happend to you.... that has a potential to crush a person. \perhaps they dont understand the concept of anticipatory grief....\i hope you will find a supportive group from some of the ones that have been mentioned. I feel for you in your situation with your husband and you sound like a good person. please dont give up in finding the help you deserve.
  3. Hi....Im really struggling again. My husband is seemingly getting more and more tired as he battles his cancer and still works full time. He can get quite verbally abusive with me when he is in such pain. Also, my adult daughter is living in our home now until she marries in september. she is feeling emotional over missing her fiance who is far away in africa, where they will live after the wedding. I have tried to be understanding and kind about setting appropriate boundaries in our home asking my daughter not to shower in my husbands and my ensuite bathroom as it is too intrusive to me. I had told both my daughters this at least ten times before but they continued to use the ensuite anyway. They do not know that I am undergoing anticipatory grief as I watch my husband get more and more fatigued. I want to spare them the emotions as they are aware he is in a temporary remission and I want them to be happy for now until this remission is over. My daughter feels depressed from missing her fiance and when \i asked her to shower in the appropriate shower she gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the day. \i am concerned she may be depressed from missing her fiance but \i also suspected something deeper could be bothering her. |I found out in a recent heated discussion that \i have never apologized to her or anyone for an affair I had five years ago. \i went through 4 years of guilt and suicide attempts because of the intense guilt i felt that i couldnt find the energy to bring it up to apologize as i felt so guilty for so long over it. \i feel like we are all on an emotional roller coaster ride and that it is about to crash. \i get snarky replies from my other daughter who visits once in a while anytime that her older sister is upset with me. \I say that if you cant say anything nice dont say it at all and \i tell them they must respect me in my own home. It feels like nothing i say or do makes anything better and \i need a break. Can anyone help
  4. Hello everyone. Its Anne (Annabella). Just want to let you know how I feel connected to you all now that I have joined this group. I like reading about the little things all going on in everyones everyday lives. It is a beautiful sunny day here and I am looking forward to the full moon tonight. The beauties of creation are so present all around. Can't wait until spring weather either. My oldest daughter has just returned from S. Africa....she will marry and then plans to live there with her fiancee. It is good to have her back for now. I lost a dog of 14 years right on the Ides of March....which I believe is March 15 and there around. Yes it does go back to Julius Caesar.... My ex of long long ago died on the Ides of March which was peculiar cause he always said "beware the Ides of March" and did various quotes from Caesar. Good thing this time of year marches us right into spring! I will be out and about walking my other dog and enjoying this nice sunny day. I saw a quote from a Charlie Brown pic the other day... it said "Snoopy.. One day we will all die." and then Snoopy replied "Yes...but on all the other days....we will not." Have a good day everyone. and thank you.
  5. Thank you both for your supportive caring words. I suddenly do not feel all alone. I will go to the library to get that book, I have a feeling it will help me so that I can better be there for my husband. thank you., \ Annabella Thank you George.
  6. Thank you both for your supportive caring words. I suddenly do not feel all alone. I will go to the library to get that book, I have a feeling it will help me so that I can better be there for my husband. thank you., \ Annabella
  7. Hello....I am new here. I too, at times, feel like I have just accepted things....do I really have a choice? And...what is worse I just want it all to be over so I can get on with going through the hard parts of actually losing them....and then maybe moving on. I at times feel selfish that I just want it to be over with so I can move on and maybe get a chance to enjoy some happiness again before I die. I agree with you, I think these feelings help us in the moment and hopefully in the future. My heart is with you. I dont think its sociopathic to be strong so that you can move on and cope in the day.
  8. Hi> First time here. I am terribly lonely. My husband is sick with Metastatic Ca. I want to spend more time with him as I anticipate him not being around ---thats just the thing....I dont know how long he'll be around. He is a devoted Worker. He identifies i guess with being able to provide financially for us. I, however, value time together more. He is still working full time in a heavy labor job and so he has little energy after work except to sit in bed or on the couch and watch TV --- TV has always been his mistress. I have tried to convince him to even just take one day off a week -- maybe midweek -- to rest and spend time with me and maybe our adult children (one still at home finishing school). I have come to realize that that is not a possibility for him. He just wont do it.. This is nothing new....he has always worked hard and has left it up to me to schedule family time if I need to....He would actually never take a day off if I didnt plan things. I think also, since he is sick now he just doesnt want to think about that and just work on per usual. This makes me very lonely. He insists he must work even though I am an RN and can work a bit more to make up for any lost wages he may have from taking time to spend with me. I have always felt unloved, even though I know I am loved -- that is my personal struggle. But I just wished he would take the time to spend quality time with me before it is too late and he cant. Is that Selfish. Even if it is, its not likely to happen. I do keep busy when I can with hobbies and exercise etc. I guess I should just suck it up and deal with it....it is what it is I guess. I will just let him be his way....It has always been this way so why should i expect or want more now that things are so uncertain. bye for now