Hi. I'm new here. I lost my mom a year ago from peritoneal cancer. She suffered for 5 years because her cancer didn't really have a remission. Longest was 6 months without chemo. I'm 39. I moved back in with her when I was 27. Anyway, i never really got to tell her goodbye. She was having s hard time breathing a lot in the last 6 months so she was constantly in and out of hospital to have her lungs drained. Anyway, she would go in and then come home like normal. This time her breathing just couldn't get under control. She had stopped fighting and suffered severe depression. The women never caught a break. Anyway, she was getting hardly any oxygen, do she was out of it and then it seemed like okay up to hospice where I never spoke to her again. That first day she woke up scared one time because she heard my daughter crying and then back to coma. I got through the funeral even laughing but she helped me raise my child and was with me for everything. God, her bedroom was connected to mine, we shared our birthday. It was like she was my husband. I got through the first year not quite knowing how to make life seem complete. Something is still keeping me back from enjoying my life. Everyone says it gets easier but I feel it get worse the longer it is from when I spoke to her last! How can I come home from work everyday and just live a normal life when I have no one to talk to anymore. Like health issues and my daughter's life, my job!!!! I lost my mom, , my partner, my therapist, my best friend??
