I am so sorry!! for your loss. My mom died on January 25, 2013 and, although I have worked through my grief, I miss her more now than ever. I remember thinking that no one would ever love me the way she did again. :’( Have you considered GriefShare? It’s a wonderful, helpful program and it’s offered nationwide. I highly encourage you to look for one in your area. It put me in touch with other women who were going through the same emotions I was and it gave me the tools I needed to start the healing process. I found it to truly be a process. I was sad, depressed, mad, then sad again. There was no rhyme or reason. I also had times when I’d start to enjoy life again and at first I felt very guilty about it. Just know that everything you are going through is perfectly normal. <3 You are not alone!! and I will be praying for you this week. Hang in there my friend!!
I remember when my dad died. I walked out of the hospital and life was going on all around me like usual. It felt so odd. My whole world had changed in an instance and nobody even noticed. It was surreal. I was 26. After taking care of my mom for eight years and spending the last eight days of her life with her at the Hospice House, never leaving her side, I felt so alone as I watched them wheel her away. I remember thinking that no one would ever love me the way she did. There's something different about losing your mother and there's something different when both your mom and dad are gone. That was almost five years ago and, although I've learned to live with her not being here, I miss her more now than ever. She'd give you the shirt off her back, literally, if you liked it :), and her eyes always lit up when she saw me. She was a very strong Christian woman and the one thing that has comforted me is knowing I will see her again. Have you ever heard of GriefShare? It's a nationwide program so there may be one in your area. It really helped me and I think it can help you too. It put me in touch with other women who were going through a loss similar to mine and all the emotions that go along with that. It made me realize that I wasn't alone at all. It also gave me the tools and resources I needed to start the healing process. I highly encourage you to check it out. I also talked to my pastor and saw a Christian counselor. Both were supportive and sometimes I just needed to talk. Have you considered seeing a local pastor or a counselor? You have been through a lot! and my heart goes out to you my friend. Hang in there! and know I will be keeping you in my prayers this week.