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Grief Healing Discussion Groups

meowwlinda

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  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    ex-boyfriend
  • Date of Death
    07.10.2017
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Biel

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  1. Hello everyone, I broke up with my ex boyfriend 7 months ago. We tried stay friends but he wrote me one day that he didn't want to talk to me since he still had feelings for me and that he would recontact me when he is ready. I respected his wish because I wanted him to get over me and be happy. Three weeks ago, his mom called me: he killed himself over the weekend. She told me that his depression became worse after we broke up (he already had depression when we were together and it was too much for me to handle, which is one of the many reasons I decided to break up) and that he had some kind of breakdown after our break up. He had to go in a psychiatrical clinic. During the last weeks of his life, he was feeling better and reaching out to people and he was allowed to stay at home during the weekend. His mom and sister went on a vacation and came home 3 hours later than usual and they found him dead. Hearing this broke my heart. I'm also feeling guilty: What if we were still together, would I be able to prevent that? I should have tried to keep in touch, to talk to his family and friends... I feel so sorry that I was not there for him during his last months. He wrote me a letter that they found in his diary at the hospital in which he says that he is very happy that we have so much memories together. I'm not in love with him anymore, I have a new boyfriend whom I love and I was very happy with him until I heard what happened to David. I don't know how to behave when I'm with my boyfriend, he is there for me and very sweet but it seems wrong to me to see him while I mourn my ex. I don't even know who I'm thinking about when I listen to a love song. I don't know how to cope with loss since it's the first time someone I know dies (I'm 21). The pain is always there. Do you have any advice on how to cope with this? (Sorry if my grammar is not too good, English is not my 1st language)
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