Chrissie4

Thanks guys, I wasn't sure. Yes your right the book is Dognitive therapy by Laura Vissaritis. I'm almost finished reading it, she has an amazing insight into how we relate to our pet dogs, & more importantly their behaviour towards us as their lifetime carers. with the help of the book, & our beautiful retreiver Sasha, I'm moving forward after Jesses passing & discovering how I can do things better this time, and although guilt is sometimes a thorn in our side, it's a necessary evil, in my opinion to help us become better human beings, & the best dog owners we can possibly be.

Jesse, as a young pup, & as she was recently, God bless her precious little innocent soul..I've stuck both these pics of her in the back of a book I'm reading, its one of those books that jump right out at you, meant to read it! It's Dognitive therapy, I can't tell you who the author is ( because my post here will be taken down if it looks like I'm promoting the book) but it's a really good read about human psychology towards our dogs. Ta ta for now all the best to all you wonderful contributors of this healing group. Lots of love Chrissie4 😍

Isaiah 11:6. There is a rainbow 🌈 bridge 🙏

Oh my goodness I've just only now watched the rainbow bridge video & i am in the car waiting for my daughter, the tears 😭 it's beautiful but hard to watch as well, I wish we could all group hug together, I'm so glad to of found this group u are all so understanding & helpful, sometimes I feel like a real goose because I get so sad about Jesse. It feels so much better to know there are people that feel the same way I do about their pet, I've tried to upload a pic on here with my profile but something's not working, I'll try next time, been sorting thru photos. Not easy to do, but getting there. Do any of you really believe there's a special place in heaven for our much loved pets and that we will see them again?? I know I feel Jesse around me sometimes, but I guess I need to "forgive" myself for feeling like I should of done more or I could of done more to help her. Kayc you've been in this group for 12 years? You have a lot to offer & I for one am very grateful for your contributions in my loss. i too will look for the peace in my heart knowing that surely one day if we can hurt this bad it must be Love, and Love is eternal, it can't be taken away, so there has to be a time when we will see the beautiful loving souls of our pets and loved ones. Another place, where sickness & disease no longer exists. ipswitch I hope your foster cat is just what you've ben looking for, we adopted a feral cat 5 years ago from our vet, she had been abandoned in a vacant block with her mum & brother, her mum was only a kitten herself. Long story short🙄 I thought she would never settle, even contemplated returning her to the vet..5 years on she is the sweetest most gentle soul you've ever met in a cat, And we've never seen any mice since she's lived with us. Her name is "Roxy" she lives quite contently with Sasha our curly retreiver. i hope it all works out..bye for now

Hi there, I completely understand where you are coming from as it's only been a week since I had to make the worst decision I've ever had to make & I hope & pray I never have to make that decision ever again. My beautiful 11yo toy poodle was euthanised after being ill, not eating or drinking for a few days & I thought I could help her at home, I waited too long before it was an emergency trip to the vet, & too late for her. I didn't have any support at that time, I was frowned upon by the Vet who was an arrogant greedy cold man, and I couldn't bear to be with her at the time she was euthanised, which made the guilt more intense, & her going off with a horrible man was her last memory, instead of being at home in familiar surroundings. guilt, I've realised is actually a good thing, it's healthy because it will help you change what you might need to change about yourself. I thought I would be overwhelmed by guilt, it literally attacked me, so I decided to do something positive, your pet knew your heart & knew that this was not deliberate, I will make sure my pets life will not be forgotten & her love & faithfulness a cherished memory. Obviously we all do things differently. I hope you find some sort of inner peace, & not be so hard on yourself. this group has really helped me in my grief, they're amazing here, it feels so much lighter to share grief here & know that these people actually understand how you feel, I'm not sure I'm the right person to help you so soon after losing Jesse, but I wish you the best, try not & give yourself a hard time, you sound as though you really love animals.

It's been one week yesterday since Jesse left us, I think about her everyday & her little face looking at me at the vet still haunts me, but it's getting better. She's teaching me patience, & that it's ok if I'm still sad, I guess I wanted a "time limit" to grieve, but there is none, Her best friend Sasha is lonely, we can see that & she howls every so often which is something she's never done before, I can see it in her eyes. She's getting better each day, I've been spending a lot more time with her, playing & she loves swimming at the beach. At this time now we are not looking at getting another dog , Sasha is learning a new way of living with us, & I think she'll be fine, she goes for daily walks to the beach & interacts with other dogs, especially the smaller breeds. I've just bought a beautiful flowering shrub that I'm planting in memory of Jesse today, and a little angel statue. I feel very dissapointed now I didn't bring her body back to bury her here or have her ashes, but that would've been so much more expensive, I was already struggling to pay the vet what he wanted. I believe she's here in spirit & she's guiding me on this journey. It sounds like you have had a rough time, I'm so sorry to hear, with your husband passing. We can learn so much about ourselves in grieving for loved ones, at one point I thought I'd go nuts with the guilt,But being on the pathway to becoming a Christian has helped, & if everything in life was like skipping in the fields & picking daisies, we would all learn nothing! I will post a pic of Jesse next time, Thankyou for your kind words of encouragement, I was saying to my daughter yesterday, who would've thought that the most helpful grief counselling has come from the Internet a from a stranger thousands of miles away, not from a neighbor, friends or relatives. This is a rare moment when the Internet is much valued. ( For me, I'm not a fan, my daughter is though🙄)

Thankyou so very much. Your message is beautiful & healing, it's true, I just wanted Jesse back to do it all again differently for her. Intellectually I know she was so sick that no vet would've been able to save her, maybe kept her alive for a few days or weeks, just enough to make a profit for themselves, it's a sad reality that pet owners that do what I did will be judged & frowned upon, in our case I'm sure it was because he knew it would be the first & last time we see him, so where's the gain in actually showing some care & compassion. I'm making a memory box for Jesse with her little coats she wore & prayers I've written for her, that's a nice thought too about a tree planted in her memory. Thankyou for the links I will definitely read them. the dog we have with us now Sasha has been in her own dark place, howling & looking for her best friend. Today she seems better, God knows I never ever thought for one minute this terrible grief would linger & affect us the way it has. Her little soul had a huge impact, I know I am a much better human being from having her in my life. Thanks again for your beautiful message, wise & very helpful to me. Thankyou

Thankyou, and no he wasn't our regular vet he set up business here 18 months ago, I went to him because he was the closest vet to us, I wrote a very honest Google review after the experience we had, I would think most if not all Vets are trained in euthanasia including dealing with the stress of the pet owner. He was an exception, I will never step foot in his premises again or take my dog to him. He was all about profit. We have to travel a little bit to our regular vet but it's well worth it. Thankyou, I'm sorry for your loss also but glad you had a better experience than we did.

Our beautiful toy poodle "Jesse" was 11 years old, when I made the heart renching decision to have her euthanised on 31/10/2017. She had been losing weight following up to the vet visit, I put it down to getting older and fussier so I changed her diet, she seemed to be ok. Therein lies the problem, I hesitated to take her to the vet there and then. The vet here is so expensive and I thought I could manage her at home. When it got to the point where she was becoming weaker I hand fed her chicken which she loves and again she seemed to pick up. Then we started to hear her breathing loudly, coming and going, I knew then it was serious. It was now an emergency trip to the vet, but all too late. The vet was cold and distant, looking back at him was not a healthy dog and I was immediately judged by him, he arrogantly suggested he could do tests on her to find our if she had diabetes or cancer, but the best thing to do according to his diagnosis was to have her put down. He said I'll do it now, you can come in and watch or I'll bring her body back to you for you to dispose of. The vet consult was less than 5 minutes. I knew Jesse had suffered because of my hesitation and I'll never know if she would've died anyway even with vet intervention, I keep telling myself there's nothing more you could've done for her she was dying. I think she was only hours away from dying " naturally" but I let her go to a horrible man and spend her last minutes with him. Looking back at how I was with her I know things could of been a lot better for her, had I managed her a lot earlier and gone to a vet without concerning about the cost. It's the terrible guilt I have been feeling, i know Jesse would not want me to feel this way, she had a good life with us, she loved being in the car with me and coming to work, her life won't be for nothing. We have another dog a retriever "Sasha" she has also been grieving her much loved buddy, she has been moping around looking very sad and lost. My focus is on her now and making sure her last years with us are the happiest and healthiest for her. Im not happy to just say to myself it's ok you couldn't of done anything else for Jesse, learning to do things better if there is a next time is the lesson out of this, and also euthanasia, if you do ever have to make that choice as a pet owner it should be made so much better through a caring vet that will also support you through the process. I will never know if Jesse could've been saved or if her illness was a death sentence, that's the hardest part also . Jesse has left a legacy of love, acceptance, faithfulness and love, she was the best watchdog, so tiny but so protective. I will carry her with me in my heart always and pray that if there is another life after this I will see her again, and she is in a much better place now.